Virtual Ramblings

It was never meant,
to be this way.
A feeling of guilt,
Is here to stay.
You said, its gonna be
Just another kiss
A pair of closed eyes, and,
A moment of bliss.
I knew you were wrong,
I just went along.
Moments like these are
seldom un-meaningful,
A “kiss”
never unfaithful

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I promise that this shall be the last of my romantic poems ..

The prompt today over at writersisland is “unfaithful”. Should I add that here’s my “fictional” piece on the prompt

The movie prompt over there this week is “fantasy”, I did this some time back, thought will add the link here

My Fantasy

She

Some of the weird things I have prayed for…

Oh God,
Please make sure we get the movie tickets today
[I am very passionate about my movies]

Oh God,
Please let her not get more marks than me in kannada
[It was my weakest subject in middle school, and used to always loose top position because of this subject]

Oh God,
Please make me big enough, to fit into normal adult jeans
[I had a tough time moving up to waist 26, where all  pairs of standard jeans began]

Oh God,
Let me wake up one day, and power of my eye vanish
[Used to hate wearing specs as a kid, even now I do]

Oh God,
Let me not get any calls tonight,
[On days I am on call, I may have to wake up middle of night and work]

Oh God,
Please get me the joker, in the next time I pick a card.
[Card games can be fun, and am never less competitive]

Oh God,
Let India win today, don’t want them to loose this one..
[Cricket is an important part of most of us]

Oh God,
Please do make the Microprocessors paper go easy
[The only subject which I thought I would have tough time. Surprise surprise I got highest marks in that]

Oh God.
I want to ask something, but having nothing on mind now, so just surprise me this time
[he he believe me I did this once/twice]

And the list continues…

I have been a real bad blogger, have not been doing my tags for a long long time, so decided that today was the tag day

Priya tagged me with this tag with 30 questions tag.. I have a doubt that one other person tagged with the same tag..I am wondering who it was

1)LAST MOVIE U SAW IN A THEATRE?
Taate Zameen Par, A good movie, but honestly did not find it all that great

2)WHAT BOOK ARE U READING?
My name Is Red by ORHAN PAMUK

3)FAVORITE BOARD GAME?
Chowka Bara…used to have loads of fun playing this as a kid

4)FAVORITE MAGAZINE?
Used to read Sudha/Taranga both Kannada magazine.. and also occasionaly filmfare

5)FAVORITE SMELLS?
The smells of:
* Any kind of food
* Wet hair
* good smelling hair in general
* Fevicol
* Fresh paint
* fresh musk
* Sandalwood

6)FAVOURITE SOUNDS?
The sounds of:
* laughs
* flute
* melodious songs

7)WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD?
Feeling that you are helpless and a feeling of loneliness

8)WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN U WAKE?
Things I need to do at to work today

9)FAVOURITE FASTFOOD PLACE?
Snack street in VV puram, Bangalore, just love the place

10)FUTURE CHILD’S NAME?
I have one.. but too personal to give out

11)FINISH THIS STATEMENT—IF I HAD A LOT OF MONEY I’D…
Build my self a big home theater

12)DO U DRIVE FAST?
No

13)DO U SLEEP WITH A STUFFED ANIMAL?
Is this a valid question for males?

14)STORMS–COOL OR SCARY?
Too cool

15)WHAT WAS YOUR FIRST CAR?
Yet to own one..might be santro

16)FAVOURITE DRINK?
Vodka..or jaggery panaka that’s made during Rama Navami

17)FINISH THIS STATEMENT-IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD…
probably learn a new language

18)DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI?
neither

19)IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY OTHER COLOUR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE?
I hate hair colors

20)NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS U HAVE LIVED IN?
Rajkot, Ahmedabad, Bangalore, Pheonix AZ

21)FAVOURITE SPORTS TO WATCH?
Cricket

22)ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU?
A level headed person..as I percieve her.

23)WHATS UNDER YOUR BED?
Three pairs of shoes..and a couple of cockroaches

24)WOULD U LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN?
not sure… depends on the choice?

25)MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL?
Very early morning person.

26)OVER EASY OR SUNNY SIDE UP?
Easy

27)FAVORITE PLACE TO RELAX?
My shower.

28)FAVORITE PIE?
Apple

29)FAVOURITE ICECREAM FLAVOUR?
Does it matter?..like all kinds.

30)OF ALL THE PEOPLE U HAVE TAGGED, WHO IS THE MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND FIRST?
Not sure I am left with any other person who hasn’t done this tag

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gooddaysunshine tagged me with this tag with this musical tag, I generally am pretty lazy with doing tags, but as it was with music, got a little excited.
The rules are pretty simple, one needs to come up with songs for various situations that would sound apt if those situations were to happen in your life.
I have done some home work, and went ahead and linked the youtube videos to each of the songs, I know many of the kannada/hindi songs you might have not heard or may not appreciate..but I just love them, just the way they are

Waking up:

I dont know which movie but
subah subah jab khdiki khole,
baajoo vaali ladki haaye,
dil mera bole hello how are you…
ha ha .. wouldn’t that be fun?

Average day:

“Main zindagi ka saath nibhata chala gaya”

First date:

“Woh shaam kuch ajeeb thi”

Falling in love:

“Rimjim gire sawan“

“Kiss Me - Sixpence none the richer”

Love Scene:

There was this song in the movie Babul ..a classical based song…bawari piya ki,..it would be wondeful..but i doubt that I would stop what I am supposed to do and listen to the song instead
also this one from refugee.. “Mere humsafar mere paas aaa“

Fight Scene:

This is a great kannada song, anybody want translation please contact me
“bisi bisi kajjaya”

Breaking up:
A very recent kannada song, and sonu nigam has sung this just too well.
“Male nintu hoda mele.“

Getting back together:
“jote yali jote jote yali”

Secret love:
“Kitni baatein yaad aatin hain”

Life’s ok:
“zindagi ek safar hain suhana“

Mental Breakdown:
if am loving this song, then I am sure I must have had a mental break down
“sarkailo katiya jhada lage“

Driving:
“musafir hoon yaroon“

Learning a lesson:
“har ghadi badal rahin hain from Kal ho na ho“

Deep thought:
“Rishtey toh nahi rishton ki parchiyan mile”

Flashback:
“koi lautade mere beetain huve din”

Partying:
“Las ketchup..asereje“

Happy Dance:
“do you wanna partner…”

Regretting:
“zindagi ke safar mein guzar jatey hein“

Long night alone:
“Mujshe raat din bus mujhe chahti ho“ from sangharsh

Death Scene:
“Zindagi, ka safar, hain yeh kaisa safar”

Closing Credits:
“yava mohana murali kareyito“

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My blogger friend Nita who blogs wonderful over at “A wide angle view of India” tagged me here, with the song that inspires you tag.The tag goes like this…
Think of THE song that most inspires you to write, whether it gives you an idea for a story, script or just puts you into a better frame of mind AND/OR peek into the lyrics and find a verse that sums up the theme of whatever project it is you’re working on. If possible, post a video of the song to convey to readers the full context of the song and the mood it puts you into. Finally, send the assignment to five other writers to do as well.
As she said in her post, choosing one song is so very difficult, over the years I have heard so many songs, in so many different languages, some have really stayed back on my mind, made me think, and many even debate, but If I have to choose one it has to be this one

“Tujhze naraz nahi zindagi” from the movie Masoom,

It has everything I like, innocence, great lyrics, kids and a beautiful sentiment, deep relations what else I would want to inspire.?

I tag priya, Chennai ramblings and pri.

I had seen a book when I went to check out a new book shop which had opened next to our office, It had a picture of lord Shiva on it, and a catchy title “Holy cow”.

I was in a hurry so didn’t get to read the back of the book, and totally forgot about the book. Suddenly one day after lunch, just impulsively went to the shop and bought the book.

“Holy Cow” by an Aussie “Sarah Macdonald” is sort of a travelogue of her partly spiritual journey , partly memoir of her stay in India, Its full of sarcasms and dry wit. I am really not used to such literature, and I think most Indians are not so used to such kind of writing, and it can easily be misunderstood to be offensive. Infact in many places, I did find it offensive to various religions and country India, and again even the choice of words are a little out of norm within India. But on the whole I liked reading this book, a different sort of writing, and also It gave me many starters about various religions for me to search the internet.

Here are some memories about the book.

Sarah talking about Indian romance says “India is in love with the idea of romance. On the television men woo women with soppy songs, flowers, teddy bears and heart shaped balloons, or shed teeming tears of unrequited love and then there’s reality. Dutiful sons and daughters do not fall in love and marry without their parent’s blessing.”

Isn’t this a reality with many romances across the world not just India?, I am talking about falling in love with the idea of romance, I think we are all a touch of guilty with this. As far as television goes, I never realized how country’s television can give such a wrong picture of it, 75% of people who watch Baywatch think that miami is full of woman dressed in revealing bikinis waiting to do CPR for any tom dick and harry. Any person who watches the soaps on Indian television might expect us to break out into song sequences every time we get attracted to a girl in public.
Coming to the dutiful part of sons and daughters, I think its too complex to understand the pros and cons of such an arranged marriage, and an year stay in India may not be really enough.

Ever since I read this book one thing which has kind of fascinated me is the Buddhist practice of Vipassana, it’s an ancient meditation technique, I really want to take this up someday soon, you can read much more about the technique here
Sarah talks about hardships she faced when she attends a ten day workshop on vipassana where she is not allowed to talk to any other person.
“Perhaps I am going mad, or perhaps the realization of my craving and negativity is making me happy. Accepting suffering doesn’t have to be pessimistic, The only way is up..for me and you now”.. Isn’t that a great mantra?“

Sarah talks about this feeling once she comes out of the ten day workshop
“For the first time in my life I am living in the moment, I no longer miss my job, perhaps because my need for outward success to feed the ego has diminished.”

At times the author does not get in terms with India and its people, when she does not seem to understand she states “It was full of foreigner attempting to figure out India. I’m beginning to think it’s pointless to try. India is beyond a statement, for anything you say, the opposite is also true. It’s rich and poor, spiritual and material, cruel and kind, angry but peaceful, ugly but beautiful, and smart and stupid. It’s all the extremes, India defies understanding, and for once, for me it’s okay.”

It continues Sarah’s tryst with various Indian religions, including Zoroastrianism. Islam, Sikhism, Hinduism, Jainism and so on, she does have a encounter with spiritual guru’s “amma” and Sai baba, and also gets to participate in kumbh mela. I liked her tryst with daily life in India, In delhi and also her interaction with both localities, and NRI, giving a rich and varied experiences to the reader.

A good read.

The cover of this book is slightly misleading, my dad seeing the book asked me what happened, why are you getting obsessed with mythology?

[Well I can't blame him, I do keep visiting a book on Mahabaratha very often]

Skittles over at “Heads or Tails” has the prompt “Mother” for this week. This is the 37th week for the prompt, and I think I have never missed any of them, but today I had nothing to say, absolutely nothing. Somehow I did not think of anything I could say about my “mother”, thats when it stuck me how I always take her for granted. I came up with this short Haiku.
———————————————————————————————–

My silent mother.

eternal problem solver,

Super magician.

“You” are a Male
“You” are a Kannadiga
“You” are a South Indian
“You” are an Indian
“You” are an Asian
“You” are a Hindu
“You” are Brown
“You” are a IT Professional

When am I going to be “me” , Just “me”?
When am “I” going to be blamed for “my” mistakes ?
when am “I” going to get credit for “my” success?

Seeming ruthless,
Looking ferocious
Blinding the survivors,
Biting into the orange twilight,
A beastly, new moon night,
Slowly engulfed a beautiful dusk.

He didn’t live his twilight.
But ferocious ‘it” was,
It never listened.
What remained were just ‘his’ traces,
And a satisfied beast.

Left him breathing,
Killed his life.
Scar-less body survived the massacre.

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The topic this week at writer’s island is “ferocious“.

Also the other prompt this week is identity, I had written some on the same subject before, thought of providing the link, guys please do check them out

“He is all That”

“Identity“

After an unexpected and fun evening with S on Thursday, Friday turned out to be another unusual evening too. Many of you guys know that I don’t smoke, but then this is what I did on friday evening

My friend set up a hookah at home, being a non smoker had never tried one, and it turned out to be fun. As I do not like the tobacco smell, we filled it up with strawberry flavored non nicotine stuff, all in all an unusual experience and a fun filled one.

Meanwhile its been a long time since I posted something over at pure pursuits, so here it goes
I call it “Amateur thoughts“

After a long time met up with S at a cafe with her husband N yesterday, it had been almost close to 5 months since I met her, after couple of hours of chat and a Cappuccino and espresso later, it feels good to realize we still have the old connection intact. I was a little apprehensive first, and so was she I guess. But like old times, it was fun, and I thoroughly enjoyed it.

As a kid when I passed by an icecream shop I was drawn to it, I wanted one cone, I never felt bad that I wanted something, I have never dismissed my wants, I have always wanted them passionately, and I have never dismissed my passion, infact I have been proud of my passion for things. But passion can easily grow into envy and then to jealousy. Traditionally both envy and jealousy have been termed bad, people are told be beware of those to feelings, and told to guard themselves away from them.

Theoretically I agree that jealousy is an extreme feeling, and generally harm people who get into it. But isn’t jealousy a very common emotion?, just like you feel happy/sad/angry naturally, you also feel jealous too isn’t it?. If you guys have much self control over emotions that you have never envied anything/anyone than may be I am a very less of a human being. I do envy things, I do envy people, and sometimes I do feel jealous.

As a man in his quarter life, I am on the look our for many things, yep I finally have broken out from the quarter life crisis, not knowing what I want, suddenly things I want seem to be falling into place. I am no saint, I have materialistic things on my list to work for, and also non materialistic things. So now that I know what I want, I am working towards them, some with immediate actions, some with a plan, and some just waiting to have in future. These things amazingly prioritize themselves too, I mean some I seem to want a lot more, and hoping that they happen somehow, and most of them fall into the last category, I mean my wants for the future, which directly I may not have control over, and some which I can do my efforts and have no control on the outcome. Some are really materialistic, and I am surprised I want to have them because there was a time I loathed people who went after them

Over last few months, one of such wants is making me envious. I do not have the word power to express what is it that’s making me envy some, infact every time I get the feeling I am feeling a little bit of envy, I am unknowingly getting disgusted at myself, and driving me out of the scene, making sure I don’t get to listen/view or discuss the matter, and the sad part is that people involved, even though they do not know about it, secretly I have a fear that I may begin to dislike them, like the way its illustrated in all possible media, the rift formed by envy/jealousy. I fear what If I get into that groove.

Jealousy is always considered to be self centric, a selfish act which helps no one, but if you do not think about the extremes, it does help people to work with a better zeal towards the goal, when I grew envious of the kid who used to top the class always, I struggled for 3 full years to topple her at the top. It has not always been bad to me, and I know that, but then why do I fear now?, why am I afraid of my envy?.

When the thought of writing something on my jealousy came up first thing I did was to look up at wikipedia. And I was surprised at their definition and also their distinction between envy and jealousy
Jealousy : “Jealousy typically refers to the thoughts, feelings, and behaviors that occur when a person believes a valued relationship is being threatened by a rival”
Envy:“Envy may be defined as an emotion that “occurs when a person lacks another’s superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.”
“Jealousy concerns something one has and is afraid of losing, while envy concerns something one does not have and either he wants to acquire (nonmalicious envy) or he wants the other(s) not to have (malicious envy)”

After going through this I realize, I have never used the word properly, may be going by this definition I am not jealous, I may be lot more envious.

As usual I am left with a lot of questions at the end.
Is a feeling of envy/jealous normal?,

Is it normal if you end up feeling a little envious about things you want badly for you?,

Does it always indicate desperation?,

Does one need to panic when he feels he is feeling a little envy,?

How does one get himself out of it?, is avoiding a good solution for it, if at all this is a problem?,

Do you feel envy/jealous at times?.