Outnumbered

A night next to you
serenity of my mind.
thoughts, outnumbered.

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A Haiku after a long time

Is memory going the appendix way

I remember a conversation I had with my friend a couple of years back. He moved out of the country after our graduation, and has remained there ever since. Once,after a couple of drinks, when we were all nostalgic, and remembering our college days, he said that even today he remembered my home telephone number, and all he needs to do, is get to a telephone keypad and the numbers just come back to his mind. Strangely, I had his home number remembered, even though we haven’t dialed each other on that number for years now.
As I was taking my shower, where usually all my posts sprout from. I was just wondering that, today, if someone asks me my wife’s cell phone number, or my parents, I actually struggle. I depend so much on the address book on my phones that, I no longer care to remember the phone numbers. I am sure, my mind would not hesitate much, if I ask it to remember these numbers, it is just that I no longer care.
We seem to be dependent so much on these gadgets, have we begun to lose our abilities?.
Just like the hunting instinct which was once the primary weapon and the skill of the human beings which no longer seem to be seen, even in traces. [Salman Khan is an exception]. May be with this information age, we are making our memory obsolete.
There was a time when going to a reference library was a norm. People would spend hours together to find the information they wanted, in the process discover so many other things. The skill to find the right information, included ability to remember the author names, books, the racks and rows, Involved inter personal skills of interacting with a librarian, or a friend, or a professor who had a better skill then you. Today all that is replaced by a simple text box on google. All you need to know is, what you want to know about.
The influence of search engines is so much in our lives, that there are times when I am searching for a misplaced thing, and I wish if google could search through my belongings.
Do we call this technological advancement or laziness?.

Why does it feel so long

I close my eyes and,
I can still feel
the dusky brown skin.

With my eyes open,
I can still feel,
those smooth tanned curves.

With a smile on my face,
I can still feel,
The sensation of you on my lips.

With every breath of air,
I can still feel,
The tingle of your fragrance.

With every passing moment
I can still feel
The freshness of our moist kiss.

I agree, its been just a while,
but,
Why does it feel so long.

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P.S 2012 has been a no coffee/tea year for Rambler..so far. Why this, Why this new year resolution di.

Book list 2011

There was a time when I used to update my book shelf  regularly. Well there was a time when I used to blog regularly.

Anyhow, I have made it a point to update the book shelf atleast once a year, and finally todays the chosen day for book list 2011.

2011 was an year of new ventures when it comes to books. I finally broke away from my known territory of non fiction, and made major inroads into fiction.  Towards the end of the year I also experimented with Science Fiction with considerably good results.   I also had a good year in terms of numbers, 25 books in 12 months was way above my usual numbers. No wonder I haven’t been blogging. 2011 also saw a major addition to my book shelf, the Kindle.

The pillars of the earth Ken Follett **

A historical fictional story set in medieval times. Gives a brief insight into architectural masterpieces and what goes behind them. Huge book in terms of pages. In between had a feeling that I was watching a television series or a bollywood movie. In all an OK read

Dork Sadin Vidukut *

Got mislead by a charming cover, and a unknown familiarity to the title. This is one of those time pass books which have flooded Indian book shops. I did laugh over a couple of pages, but then in all a very dull affair.

Urban Shots Paritosh Uttam *

I expected the book to be good. Its actually a collection of short stories, many of them which I could not relate to, or sounds too filmy. Definitely worth a skip.

Corporate Atyaachaar Abhay Nagarajan *

This was probably the book which made me stop buying contemporary [Read Chetan Bhagat Wannabes] indian books. Books   set either in IIM’s IIT’s or today’s corporate world, with a story plot which involves an underdog making it big or having an OK life at the end of all campus fun seems to be the plot of all books these days.

Wish Melina Geroza Bellows *

I picked this up at a second hand online book auction. Its actually categorized under chick lit. Unfortunately I didn’t read much about the book and just ordered. Its an OK book, which my wife liked more than me. If you are one those who like sex and the city, then probably you would like to read this book.

The prince of mist Carloz Ruiz Zafon **

After having loved Angel’s game and Shadow of the wind, I wanted to read the Prince of Mist written by Zafon. This was actually meant for young adults. The highlight of the book according to me is the writing style and the emphasis given to expressions of the young adults in the plot. The images are so vivid that one can actually see the book unfold in 3D.

Dreaming in Hindi Katherine Russell Rich *

This book is about a person suffering from a serious illness accepting a writing assignment which requires her to travel to India and study hindi. I actually loved the plot of the book, and had high expectations from it. This book was very boring, and had to struggle to finish it. May be its the lack of humor or the dry presentation. The book didn’t work for me at all.

84 Charing cross road Helene Hanff ***

I think this must be one of the most read books in the world. The book does not fail to meet the expectations. Its a collection of letters written by a reader to a book store. What I liked the most about the book was the innocence which is evident in the letters. I actually wanted to read some more when the book ended. Definitely worth a read.

Delhi Adventures in a megacity Sam Miller *

I started reading this because of my strange fixation towards travelogues. This is actually a very good and detailed documentation of Sam Miller about the Delhi city. If I had probably read this an year back I might have loved it, Now that the reader in me is spoiled because of all the spice of fiction, this book came across as a very bland one. I actually remembered the passages when I was recently in delhi, reading the road side boards.

Agastya [Kannada] ***

This is a detailed story of the sage Agastya. If you are into mythology and keen on reading more about not much written about people, this is a must read. It also helped considering I was recently watching a lot of documentaries on the subject.

Animal Farm George Orwell ***

If there is any book which can come close to Jonathan Livingston Seagull, it has to be this one. The idea of a fable being used to depict something as big as this one, is an amazing thing a writer can accomplish. Its a small book, but very profound. Yet again a must read.

Oh, The Places You’ll Go! Dr Seuss **

Its actually a kids book, but fun to read. If you are a parent, you should definitely read this to your children.

1984 A Novel George Orwell ****

Probably one of the best book I read in 2011. I got hooked onto it like a magnet. The book has amazing narrative and puts you in a complex set of motions. I just love the ending, and the eventuality with which the story unfolds. A must read.

Aleph Paulo Coelho *

Paulo Coelho has never been this disappointing. Apart from a couple of quotes, I did not relate to the whole book. Its as though the author is trying to describe a huge phenomenon which is extremely hard to believe in. I would rather reread eleven minutes.

The Great Gatsby Scott F. Fitzgerald ***

This is a good little book. Its very different from the usual ones, and an unusual love story. At the end of the book, it makes you wonder, can it happen like this?. I have heard they are making a movie on this book with Leo De Caprio. One thing is for sure, I will not watch the movie.

Anna Karenina Leo Nikolayevich Tolstoy, Joel Carmichael **

If you are game for a looooong unending filmy tale of people, this book is for you. I struggled to finish this one, and almost visualized a tele series with Ekta Kapoor directing this.
One thing which I liked about the book was its setting. It is set in Russia, and the culture and the attitude of the people there was something which I was not aware of. This book gave a pretty insight into medieval Russian outlook.

Indian calendar system ***

Its a book describing Indian calendar system and mathematical principles behind this. It explained so many things which I used to follow blindly. If anyone is interested in Indian calendar, and significance of various special days we follow, this is a must read book.

Devuru DVG [Kannada] ***

This is a short essay in kannada written by DVG, arguably the greatest Kannada poet of all times. Its about explaining GOD and his features. There is no myth in the essay, its just a collection of advantages disadvantages of belief in god, the characters of such an almighty and more discussion about the same. A definite read for all the people. Its also available in English.

Wise and other wise Sudha Murthy **

A collection of short writings by Sudha Murthy. Its a good read.

The finkler’s question Howard Jacobson **

It gives a good insight about jewish culture, and also is humorous at many parts. Its about a Christian who has a doubt that he is a jew. Its about a looser and things he goes through in life. Its a fun read.

The Postman Always Rings Twice Cain, James M. ***

Its a mystery. Its set in olden times in America. I had fun reading some parts of it.

The Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy (Hitchhiker’s Guide, #1) Adams, Douglas ***

My first attempt at reading science fiction. The book makes you imagine a lot. The idea of a space travel, and earth being an experiment kind of intrigues the reader.

 If on a Winter’s Night a Traveler Calvino, Italo **

I have to admit, this must be the book with the most bizarre narrative I have ever read. Its very confusing, and very difficult to follow. But thats the selling point of the book. There is no way I can describe the book in few sentences. A very unique read.

Foundation (Foundation, #1) Asimov, Isaac ***

Foundation, The first of the books in the trilogy, had me glued to it for most of the time. The fictional aspect of the book is good and different. What struck me most is the similarity between the content and Indian Mythology. I actually would love to do a long post on parallels between the two. A must read book.

Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller **

I had heard a lot about this book. I had borrowed this once from the library in 2009 and had returned after reading a few pages. The book has too much explicit content and language for my comfort. However This time around I could complete the book. I couldn’t find the reason for the hype around the book. Its about an American in France, who is leading a close to a homeless life doing small chores in France. His frustration with life and sexual encounters form the main plot of the book.

Randomly Random

• This weekend I worked on a painful project. I called it mission 50. The idea was to dig into my wardrobe and get rid of 50% of my clothes. My wardrobe had got filled up over years and I used to have an odd feeling, looking at the heaps of clothes. Mission 50 was on my mind for a long time, and Saturday ended up being ‘The’ day. Its amazing how we attach memories to everything, including clothes. I let my wife do the honors and donate many of them. Felt good looking at a half empty wardrobe. No wonder my wife sneaked in couple of her hangers into my space.
• Only time I miss staying in the US is during Christmas. I miss the sound of carols, and me humming just a line throughout the day “Its the season to be jolly fala lalaa la lalla.”
• I had a fun vacation with my wife up the hills of kumaon in Uttaranchal. Traveling around Binsar, chakori, kasauni, Ranikhet, was so much fun. Now that we are back, we miss a lot of things
  We really miss the cold climate and the hot soups,
  We miss trying to slip into warm spots left by each other on the bed and then fighting over it.
  We miss the sunrises and sneaking out barefeet into balcony and then running back in with a numb foot.
  We miss the 5 clock sunset, and pitch darkness by 6pm.
• Vacation reminds me of a quirk. Whats wrong with the hotels up north. I am not sure what is the thought process which goes on, when I order a tea. Do they think I take a bath in the tea?, or order it to drink. When I order a tea, why would they always give me 3 cups in a flask?. Considering my wife does not drink tea, I had a tough time finishing 3 cups twice in the morning. Towards the end of my vacation, I started ordering half a cup of tea. pheew.
• Have you ever wondering looking at children play. I see kids in the city with their wiis and psps, TV’s and elaborate toys and still bored. I was looking at a couple of kids up in the mountains playing. I was drawn into the object of the game. The object was that, they had picked up two empty bottles and they were hitting a pole with it. After half an hour, they were still doing the same. They had broad smiles on their face, just loved how simpler things can bring happiness to kids.
• Rambler has been bitten by SciFi bug these days. His kindle is full of Asimov.
• I got to watch the movie “Dirty Picture” recently. Without getting into my opinion about the movie, let me just quote one of the dialogues which me and my wife thoroughly enjoyed. “Har aadmi ke liye ek aurat hoti hai. Usse bach gaye, toh life ban jayegi “, [ For every man there is an woman, if you escape from her, your life will be set ]. When this came on screen, instantly I looked at my wife, and she had turned towards me too, and we both had a hearty laugh.
• Finally the Inox has introduced a fruit vendor. Instead of the junk fries, now we have an option of digging into freshly cut fruits.

A leaf that lasts a lifetime

I remember that day, it was the first day of our ninth grade, and having studied for nine years in the same educational setup, I pretty much knew what to expect. It would be a day when new teachers come in with an effort to make a good first impression, or rather an intimidating one, to make sure the class is under control for the rest of the year. It would be the usual introduction of herself, followed by each of us introducing ourselves with our names. If the teacher happens to be one who has already taught us before, it would be the usual claim of how different this year, her class is going to be, how the bar of intolerance has been lowered making it impossible for us to limbo.

She was our new kannada teacher, taller compared to average south Indian women, confident, and she walked in with a smile. The smile was not one of those, which spread the friendliness, nor was it a forced fake one, which would be followed by establishing the power equation between the students and herself. It was one of those , a tad sarcastic ones which gives you an impression that she knows what she is going to be put up with.

Kannada language is mother tongue to many people in karnataka. Having spoken the language all our life, we expect the command over the language, if there is one subject/language which we are sure of scoring well, it has to be that language. Its extremely difficult to be a teacher who teaches something which all the students are already aware of, its highly likely for the students to ignore the subject, and most importantly its extremely difficult to command their respect for the subject and the teacher.
The new kannada teacher had an unique way of introducing students to her. She started a simple exercise, all we had to do was, stand up with a text, and read the passage without making a mistake, stammer, or wrong pronunciation. The first flaw in the reading would result in the next person continuing.

It was a challenge which all of us thought was a piece of cake, we were sure that the book would never reach beyond two rows.
What followed was a hilarious few minutes, with people stumbling within first few words/sentences.
I had a big ego about my kannada, [In a sort of a way, I still do], when the book came to me, I was with full determination to complete a big passage. I stumbled right after the fourth sentence.

For some reason I have never forgotten this exercise nor the teacher. This ego bursting exercise has kept me on my toes even now. Every time I feel a little over confident I do this exercise with small alteration as per the field, and it has never stopped surprising me.

I don’t know where the teacher is, nor I have any idea if I will get to thank her for this “first” class of hers.

One two many

As I was reading my book on my way to work today, I realized something. I read only one book at a time. I might have multiple books on my stand, but I always choose one, and read it till the end, before I pick up another one. I know many people who read many books simultaneously, my own dad does that.

I was thinking of possible reasons, why I don’t do multiple books simultaneously.  Not that I don’t do multitasking, infact most of the times I am listening to music when I am reading books, so its strange I find it odd to read more than one  book at once.

I think it has to be with the attachment and passion towards the characters and the narrator. I usually develop this attachment which generates curiosity and the also ownership of the situations which unfold in the book. It becomes very difficult to come out of it, even when I am not reading. So may be its difficult to have the same level of involvement in multiple subjects.

Books are not like sitcoms which we watch an episode, followed by another episode from another sitcom and so on. We then wait for a week to get back to where we had left off. In fact, even sitcoms, I prefer to watch all episodes together over the DVD. The idea of continuity seems to attract me more than that of the novelty and variety.

If we term it as “thought space”, the dwellings of our mind which get transformed as we read a book, know the characters, their problems, their stories and their life. This thought space seems to handle only one set of people, and prefer to focus more on few, then less on many.

I was just wondering how much of this applies to our real life as well.

Some of us tend to have a large space, filled with many people, friends and family, people whom we just know, and end up not focusing on people who matter to us most. Some on the other hand have a very little people place, and end up focusing too much on them. I wouldn’t say one is better than the other.  Its just the way we are.

So what kind of reader are you?.

Obsession with the move.

There are days when I feel like a train,
train on the move,
passing through numerous stations,
few minutes of halt, and then the gallop,
people getting on, and some getting off,
a sense of belonging, short lived.

There are days when I feel like a station,
a station, the common still ground.
Trains loaded with people, come and go
few minutes of commotion, and then the calmness,
people getting off, and some getting on,
a sense of abandonment, short lived.

Makes me wonder,
Why this obsession,
Obsession with the move.

To Guard or not to Guard

Its been a week since I posted, and I am actually feeling sad to have not blogged for a week. I am also happy, that I am feeling sad about not blogging, because over the last couple of years I had stopped feeling that. Anyhow..I will stop being happy/sad in spirals and continue with the post I guess.

One of these days I was wondering what should a man in his late twenties, one who has been single for a long time, change his conduct, mannerisms after his marriage.

Being unmarried gives us a lot of liberty, we don’t have really think before we strike up a conversation with opposite sex at the work place, or on the commute. Not just the conversation, even when someone beautiful and attractive passes by and catches your attention, the way your mind reacts, everything comes out natural.

When I got married, In the initial days I was very conscious about how I come across to people of opposite sex, I was conscious not to appear interested, and curb my natural tendency to mix humor in my talk. I don’t see a logic behind why I did that, but it just happened. During many a conversation, I used to remember half way through that I had forgotten about my guard. I have blogged many a times about how I do not get flirting, nor understand if anything I do appears to be flirting. So may be my mind was putting down a guard to make sure I don’t flirt.

When someone appears attractive to you, or when their persona strikes you, its normal tendency to want to talk to them, or get to know them. Not all those attraction have romantic interests. In fact most of them have no romantic interests. But how does one change his/her outlook towards this subject after being married. More importantly should one change his outlook?.

The virtual life is a whole new ball game. Anybody who reads my blogs can see, almost all of my readers are women. In fact I did a poll too as to why it is so. Since I have a habit of exchanging comments on the blog and also with some of the old blogger friends on the gtalk, I end up chatting with a lot of women. Well, Now that my online time is so limited, it might have gone down drastically but still. I was chatting with an old blogger friend yesterday, and was feeling so conscious about what I speak. I met this person on gtalk after ages, and I was finding uneasy about my self censorship. Now don’t get me wrong, there is nothing even close to romance or attraction of any kind involved, but then its just kind of odd.

Should a man guard himself after being married
So how much should a man guard himself after marriage, where to draw the line, or should there be a line in the first place
Am I just going nuts about something which is blown totally out of proportion [I have been guilty of exaggerating things ]

‘My’ Voice

How many times, has an event sprung a realization of an odd kind? I would say not so often. Just the other day, I was watching a cousin of mine on stage, and it struck me that it has been such a long time since I have held a mike. I think the last time must be in my high school. Even back then, speaking on mike never came easily to me, I had to force myself to get my inhibitions off, and just say what I got to tell. I remember participating in debates and dreading to speak up, I would have had so many points to make, but speaking up was never my forte. When I was introduced to essay and creative writing, I grabbed it with both hands, and found a medium to make my points, without having to get on the stage.

The philosophy seems to have gotten struck with me. The idea of not voicing my thoughts, not speaking up and owning my ideas. Professionally I might be the one who is one of those who doesn’t hesitate a bit, before voicing opinions in meetings and discussions, as though it’s a whole new facet of me. When it comes to real life [Very interesting that I don’t consider my profession as my real life], I hardly voice my displeasures, pleasures, and most importantly my stand on various subjects. Being a very opinionated guy, I find it really surprising that I don’t voice my opinions.

My blog is the biggest example of my escapism. The thoughts expressed here, which I consider the truest picture of my mind, even here I have chosen to not own my thoughts and come up with a pseudo name. I can count with half the number of fingers in my left hand, how many people know about my real life identity and identify my thoughts with me. When an article of mine got published in a book, I chose to write it under the pseudo name, and didn’t even share it with parents. So basically my thoughts never get the identity of my voice, they remain mostly anonymous.

This leaves me with questions. Is it fear? Is it escapism? Is it immaturity? Is it natural? Is it pseudoism?