Why do we do this?
June 3, 2009 at 4:47 pm | In Realité, Thoughts | 24 CommentsI had the opportunity to visit an Indian restaurant for the first time on this visit, this weekend. Like my all previous experiences, this too was bad. I hate Indian food in the US, if you ever want to cite an example how Indian food should not taste, the food here in Indian restaurants would automatically qualify.
Anyways the point of the post is something else, I went to that place with an Indian family. The family had middle aged couple, and a 11 year old son. We finished our buffet, and all through it the boy was complaining about the cup sizes, he genuinely felt the restaurant should have had bigger bowls, making it easier for us to dip our dosas nan and idli’s.
When the time came to pay the bill and go out, the boy spotted a suggestion box, and with all enthusiasm wanted to write in a complaint/suggestion asking them to keep bigger bowls. As we had already come out of the restaurant he ran out to inform us to wait for him when he fills it.
Immediately the parents response to the boy was something like this, “hey baro saku, [hey come, its enough], do you really think they are going to read your suggestion?.”
I am sure the boy would have thought, why the hell do they have suggestion box, if they don’t read it.
Why do we, elders do this?, demotivate the younger ones, don’t you think we need to make him feel positive, and let me really tell people what he has to say.? so what if they don’t read it, atleast he can feel that he has done his side of the job.
Is it the problem with all of us Indians?, the boy was born and bought up here in America, and I have seen most of the people here really care about these things, if they have some suggestions they do give it, not like us whiners.
Why do we do this to our younger ones.
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Simple, we can’t be bothered to take the time and we don’t want to see our children bother either!
It’s more of an attitude we have of not expecting any better I guess
Comment by chennairamblings — June 3, 2009 #
Its ok of us having that attitude, but its whole lot different when you want that to be passed on to kids as well
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
Good point Rambler I completely agree with you. It was a very wise thing and a good way for the boy to handle his disagreement with the size of the bowl
he should have been rewarded
It is not an Indian thing though Is is world wide that we want our children to grow up but keep them small with our language
Comment by marja — June 3, 2009 #
isn’t this high time we realized our mistakes Marja?
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
[...] View original here: Why do we do this? « Virtual Ramblings [...]
Pingback by Why do we do this? « Virtual Ramblings – Indian Food blog — June 4, 2009 #
We want them to grow up but keep them small with our language. Brilliant. And, so true. I want our eleven year old daughter to grow up as much as I want her to stay little. I think for some of us Americans it is the quest for not having our children be disappointed. That has created a generation that doesn’t know how to cope effectively with adversity, and have us, their parents, take care of all of their problems, even into adulthood. I certainly don’t want to raise a daughter who needs me in that way. I want her to be free and independent and always speak her mind, especially at eleven!!!
Thanks, I enjoyed the read!
Comment by vanessaleighsblog — June 4, 2009 #
Vanessa, for a reason I don’t agree with you, its not to protect people tend to discourage people, its out of their own frustration, which i believe should not be passed onto the enthusiastic youth. as far as protecting and how far we should, it forms a whole different coffee table discussion.
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
children = innocent
elders = cynical (because of whatever disappointments they have faced in their life)
Comment by snow — June 4, 2009 #
but why make the to be elders cynical?
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
I’m constantly offering my opinion. Especially @ store & restaurants, ’cause they’re there to serve me! I agree the kid had every right to offer his opinion!
Comment by bundleocontradictions — June 4, 2009 #
and every right not to be discouraged
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
Good question. I don’t think it is so much of an Indian probelm, but more of a human problem, and has alot to do with parents themselves feeling tired and not patient. Truly, to let the boy go back would have taken more time, and required them to be patient, which clearly they werent into doing. Good question, though!
Comment by Molly — June 4, 2009 #
hmm interesting, do you think its impatience?
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
Somethings are ‘nothing’ for parents, but they are ‘everything’ for children. I will keep this thing in mind as a mom
Comment by neilina — June 5, 2009 #
Well hope all parents try to keep little things in mind
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
I think its in bred.. I mean.. we are taught that.. so we teach to our kids.. we dont even realize.. its subconcious dont u think ?
Comment by Winnie the Poohi — June 5, 2009 #
I think I agree with you, and just dont want our children bred that way
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
i do believe they would have read his suggestion,, whether or not they would get larger bowls tho is probably a matter of portion control since you did say it was a buffet…
parents will be parents,, they are forever making decisions or at least seeking to sway decisions made by their children.. it is human nature i think…
Comment by paisley — June 5, 2009 #
Paisley, I wouldnt want to agree, just like the kid I would like to hope that it would change when we the youth become parents, and won’t repeat the same mistakes which we loathe.
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
i so second you Rambler! more @ gTalk
Comment by Shaili — June 5, 2009 #
Shaili, what do you second?
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
Hmmm!!! May be its their experience! If you offer a genuine suggestion and people concerned don’t care about it, it stays with you for long. And repeated occurences like that will develop a kind of indifference. May be that speaks out like this. Its not just between elders and the younger ones, its with all age groups. I have a habbit of writing every feedback form whichever resturant I visit to and my friends laugh at it. But things are changing and people in business are genuinely taking these feedbak forms seriously
Comment by Akshatha Kamath — June 6, 2009 #
Well someone needs to change it isn’t it, if we demand better service we need to ask for it. Having said that I never voice my opinion, am an eternal whiner, but I seriously hope my kids dont end up like me.
Comment by Rambler — June 7, 2009 #
i agree the kid should have been encouraged..i think they didn’t realise that they are unconsciously endorsing the ‘chalta hai’ attitude
maybe you could have stepped in and taken the boy in to put in his suggestion?
Comment by suma — June 7, 2009 #