Unfinished

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As humans why are we so obsessed with conclusions?. All arguments need to be decided, stories need to climax one way or the other, even sentences need to end with a period. This seems to be so unnatural, as in nature nothing waits till the end, end just happens, it is as abrupt as an unfinished sentence, a story incomplete. World does not wait for completeness, it just works at a pace not know to humans, and end happens, not to a plan. It sounds almost foolish to expect all sentences

Through our eyes

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When a child is born, the first thing that comes to people’s mind, is who does he/she resemble. There are elaborate discussions and arguments as to who the child resembles the most. Even though it starts with the appearance, the hunt for resembles stretches far from the looks, deep into every single behavioral pattern the child exhibits. Over years I have seen many parts of India, and some parts of the world outside. This practice of trying to find the resemblance is almost universal.
Even though the child is a complete individual, and will develop his/her own attitude and outlook towards world in a due course of time, I love the idea of trying to tag his/her behavior to one or more people in the family. We all know that no one lasts forever, and a day would come when we have to say goodbye to our dear ones, if not already done. Our memories of our dear ones too do not last long, with time the memories are meant to fade away. This simple act of seeing everyone we once adored, and every aspect of them which we identified them with, with our own children and grandchildren, we found an easy way to make sure our memories last our lifetime.
Every time my son picks up an almost inaudible sound, we see my mom in him. Every time he goes out to the street and picks up a conversation with a complete stranger he reminds me of my dad, every time he assumes every conversation people are having concerns him he reminds me of my grandmother, his style of looking at things is straight from my other grandmother, and his taste in food is my own copy.
We are not sure, how many of these are really true similarities, but to us they are true. With him, we see our grandparents walking right around us, long after they are gone; with him we will see our parents after they are gone.

A snug fit

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If we were to partition what we need/want from people/relationships into various partitions, Into how many of them does one’s spouse fit into?. Into how many of them do others walk in?, Into how many of them do we let others walk in?.

Should one be happy if the spouse fits into many of these partitions?.
Should one be happy if they dont, and he/she can add many others who fit in naturally into these?.
Should one try to alter the spouse by changing their interests and outlook to be able to fit into more of these partitions?.
Should one be happy letting them fit only into those, where they fit naturally?.

Remains

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Things change (period). He had been telling himself for over years now, every single time he wanted to get back to what he had, be who he was, meet people who were, do things he did, the way he did, with people he was used to doing it with. He wanted what once was, and will never be again. It was not a question of familiarity, nor was a question of comfort. It was to do with holding on, it was a question of letting go, it was do with making it last a bit more. Roles, relationships, work, money, hobbies, wants, likes, clothes, people, equations, his outlook on things, his attitude, his priority and his values, everything had changed.
Yet ‘he’ remained.

A dash of life

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Have you ever tried to blot a pool of water on the floor. The water trying to find a new path around the cloth, and the cloth trying to blot as much of water as possible. Every time you try to move the cloth around, water finds its way around too. Still at the end of it the cloth takes in a big dash of water, as much as it can. Life is a lot like the flowing water, and I want to be the cloth which absorbs as much as it can.

 Life, to me, is a bunch of experiences, some new, some old, some routine and mundane, some exciting and curious. There has been times I have asked myself, and people have asked me, as to why should we do something, or something like we do this and then what?. The answer to these questions have been different at various ages of my mind. Today as we speak, my answer to all those questions has been a single word “experience”. Why should we get married?, experience. Why should I travel, “experience”. Why should I try new food “experience”. You name it, the answer is experience. The only thing which remains after the goal is achieved is the experience, and there can be no question as to “what do I gain from experience”, because the answer is experience. This is one of those rare things where the journey and destination are the same, and no matter what path you choose you will always reach the destination which is experience. So if we go with my current theory that life is a bunch of experience. It makes it  a lot easy to answer the question. “what do I want from life”. The answer is experience, whatever the life gives me its gonna be experience, if I get what I want from it its gonna be an experience, if not thats gonna be an experience too. What I want though is to be able to absorb as much as possible from my experiences.
There is a lot of things I want to experience, To begin with, I would love to meet new people, Some would turn into acquaintances, some relationships, some would turn into unknown bonds, some would just fizz out. But I want to be able to experience the human equations, I have spent a lot of time running away from it, but now is the time to make mends to it.
 
Travel is another area which I never run out of experiences from. People we meet, the place, the weather, the food. Its a whole palette of life thrown into a platter for a jumbo size serving. I wish I could travel more both with my family and alone, because I always enjoy company and being alone. Work travels always gives me a perspective which I never get when I am with family. It also opens up a window, where I can seek out to meet people which I would not do If I had company.
Assuming roles has given me a great new perspective in life. Be it being a father, a mentor at work, being a husband, a son, a son in law. There has always been a change with the role. Even being a friend has role changes over years, there was a time when we had surreal friendships, with no insight into each other, now with years on our side, we can think and discuss on deeper things. Internet and blogworld gave me a whole bunch of roles on line with people whom I had hardly met. It is a part of my life which is very close to my heart, because it gave me a rich dash of experiences at a time I was facing tough inter personal choices and questions.
Books have also added to my experiences. They have given me the ability to imagine situations and characters, debate ion behaviors and mindsets of a wide variety of people. It also provides a new outlook on possibilities and extremes to which world can get into.
When you look at life on the whole, the short term things like a problem at work [by problem I mean a work item which is bothering us], a promotion which I am aiming for, an electronic gadget that I want to buy, the house that I want to build etc seem insignificant. But they are not, each of these give you such rich experience, that one ends up thoroughly enjoying it. So when I order my favorite cup of coffee at a near by joint, I want to be able to enjoy the experience as much , as I would enjoy a complex relationship with a friend. When I solve an issue working two hours at a stretch I am as much delighted with the result, as the one at the end of a two week vacation to Himalayas.
If I have not got there, I should get there.
I do want to be wash cloth that blots the life.
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A friend asked me “What do you want from life”. It was out of blue and I was wordless, it was too profound a question to be answered with a few words or being decisive in answering it. I took about a week to arrive at something which shouldn’t have taken a lot of thinking. Even though I haven’t blogged in ages, nor connected with any of my blog friends lately, I thought it might interest someone out there.