A friend sent me over a scorecard which had statistics about Indian population, and its categorized based on gender caste so on, Hate to see these classification, not sure when the discrimination will stop, but that’s not matter of concern here. I was wondering, out of that, how many are of ages between 1 to 10 and homeless with no one to take care.
Indian as well as world society has progressed, at least in some areas. One such emerging thing is “Adoption” Adoption is a phenomenon which is said to be followed from ages, There are instances of adoption in almost all of the religions like Hindu mythology, bible, I am not so sure about quran, but am sure there will be a mention in there too.
As far as the people are concerned, from the onset of the modern society,employment is in fashion as much as business, though both end up as means to make money, there are few people who are risk takers and end up taking up steps to achieve their vision, others try to see them through to their vision. Most of the employees belong to the second category, Those who help people to achieve their vision. Along with society, even the work people do and what they want to do has also evolved, firstly there were lawyers, followed by bankers, then it was Civil engineers, doctors and now software engineers and BPO professionals. In short I call them junkies. So we, so called technical junkies are people who are supposed to work a lot and make more money. Lets not get into why we get to do this and not others. The point here is to look at what are we gaining and at the cost of what..
With the people in, there is one more thing which is closely related. “Relationships”. Relationships have also evolved over time, whats acceptable and whats not, seems to have taken a leap. Again with the evolution, relationship and kinds have changed. Gays, transvestites have become legal and also greatly acceptable in world. But the sad part of this evolution is, everything is accepted or rejected based on only one thing “sex”.People never take this out of the equation. Indian society too has evolved and yes sex is very much a part of it. Media had become more open. [I personally feel, they want to get more viewership by saying open and follow yellow journalism to the core]. But leaving out the taking advantage part, they have bought out to public things which were really closed behind closets and never discussed.
When it comes to adoption, my feelings are really confused, Who should do it, when they should do it? questions like this really don’t have an answer from me, And it is really strange when a person like me who wants to have an opinion on everything on earth, really has no opinion on such a novel thing like adoption.Is adoption meant for childless couple? firstly is it meant for a couple?. There has been said and written a lot on brangelina adopting kids from Africa, But mostly whatever gets highlighted in the media, looks like a publicity gig to me these days, One interesting bit in celebrity adoption is Sushmita Sen. When she can adopt a girl when she is single and really take care of the kid, makes me wonder, is this feasible in real life too? Can we adopt a kid when we are single and take care of it.
So by we I refer to junkies here.Junkies tend to work all day and late into night, And the poor BPO people they work all night. They spend like an hour max in the morning with the family and may be an hour in the evening, Even if they have time for a change, they would love to sleep or watch TV rather then spend it with family, The problem is after going through so much during the day, one can hardly have enough enthusiasm to sit through the ups and downs in the family. They dont get to spend time with spouse and especially with kids, They make a lot of money but do not have time nor energy to spend it. As my father puts it, They earn money for others to spend. I Have spoken to a lot of junkies who belong to different ages and with different problems. But all problems somehow end up with root cause as time management issues due to work. They not only get their social life screwed, but end up seeing bad face of the body too. Lately seem to hear lot of young junkies with chronical problems like Diabetes, high/low Blood pressure, back problems, One old technical junkie once told me, “Dude you are ageing, that too, prematurely” and advised me to take it easy.
As “We” try to figure out what we want to do with our lives, the society too is not so much clear in what it wants to endorse. Living in with a loved one, is a form of relationship which seems to be the next stop in the ever evolving Indian society. Not many people like it and do not endorse it. But what Indians in general dont know about it is, Its not just sex… Theres a lot to it. So at least some people should think about it before endorsing or condemning it.Commitment is something which is really reducing, and really people do not have themselves to blame for it. Ambitious people are everywhere, and this has led to lot of competition. Competing is not bad, after all its survival of the fittest. Commitment means a little bit of compromise from both the sides. When I dont want compromise something for my career and with lot of uncertainties in life, Not want to take up responsibilities, how can I expect a person just because she is my wife to do all that for me?. With all the things that happen around the world, nothing needs to be proven to say that gender has nothing to do with ambition, quest for power, money, knowledge and even happiness. So why force someone into commitment when you dont want to get into one. And again when you have two people sharing bed, its not just the bed the share, they share the things which then bring into it, there are lots of things in there, like knowledge, values, beliefs, strategies for life, and so on.. It beautiful to share something with a person you like. And the only thing that gets highlighted as the shortcoming of this form of relationship is just a part of bigger brochure.
There are lot of working women and who are really good at what they do and have a real good picture in mind about what they want to do and are really working hard to achieve it. All this does not make them not want company. People are known to excel in solitude, but whats the happiness if you have no one to share it with. So if a man/woman wants some company where they share common interests and really like each others company, whats wrong in living together. I would not have any issues with that. But again people do not live alone. And as idealistic it sounds one cannot ignore what people say.
So when it comes to issues Adoptions, I think the biggest problem is, there are too many lives involved, theres the kid, theres you, theres your spouse and above all the people around you. When even of these people does not support you, the adoption can tend to break many relationships, and more of all break the kids psyche. So one of the problems in life of “ours”, seem to be not so good social life. You end up thinking work at home and home at work. and not happy at both places. As the mind is not in the right place so is not the body, there seems to be a lot of ego clashes when it comes to family. Making one, starting one you name it there is an ego clash in there.
But for all this could adoption be an answer?
Could livin relationships help two ambitious people achieve what they want without hurting or asking them to give to relationships,more then they want to ?
Will “junkies” be yet another profession which will slowly fade and a new more prosperous profession take over?
Not sure. Lot of confusions. Currently no Definitive answer..
Another experiment in writing style, wanted to try episodic…Just had three issues, techies, adoption and livin relationships. Tried to put them all together. If it sounds too long and boring like KJ movie, well I cant help it, It had 3 heroes in there, 🙂
Should I register “Konfusions” before he grabs it?… 😉