Posted in cubeland, Realité

Cubeland Crooners

Working in corporate is taxing, but not always. You get some free entertainment too. How many of us listen to music when we work? most of us right. But more fun than that, is listening to the crooners around you.

I always have had some nice neighbours, who provide me with all kind of music. Some provide me with only lyrics and some provide me with brilliant music either by banging their desks or crooning the instruments too. The language too is not a limit, I get to hear english, hindi, tamil, telgu and even gujrati some times.

But the best part of these crooners are the facial expressions that comes on without their knowledge. Sometimes I stop my work and try to observe the passion in their faces as they try to blast the song out, with the earphones on.

Dont believe me ? if you live in cubeland too just peek into a crooners cube next time you hear one.

Do I do it?, I must ask couple of my neighbours.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Moi, Realité, thème

Picking up from where left – A lone evening in a cafe

I had been planning this for more than a month now, I knew it was such a small thing, but anything I do will anyway involve lot of planning, whether its worth or not is a different question.

Some months back I had discovered this cafe, which had live music and also a small collection of books, and immediately I fell in love with the place. I knew I wanted to go there, and spend some time. As usual lack of company had made we decide not to go there. But yesterday I was so bored that I decided to just go out there, though alone just to check the place out.

I am not new to enjoying the hangouts alone, In fact that was when I started to do what I want to do, rather than what people wanted me to. I had developed really good rapport with strangers and could walk into any conversation easily. I used to love that “me”. I was not, so comfortable doing it here in Bangalore,because of more or less fear of known.

I reached the cafe at around 7:30 PM, firstly I was disappointed as there was no live music yesterday, but there is something in the smell of the fresh ground coffee, which made me enter the cafe. I looked around I saw like 3 couples, 2 large groups of girls, they seemed to be in late teens or early 20’s. And were chatting at the top of their voices. I directly went into the book section. There was no one there, Kind of eased me into the cafe.

After buying couple of books and paying for it, I started thinking. Should I Stay here and have coffee when I read or just go home. I looked around once more there were hardly anyone who had come their alone. I felt a little odd. But decided that I will drink just one cup coffee and go home. So I ordered a latte and started to search for a place to sit.

One of the biggest problems in hangouts in Bangalore is lack of planning for singles, they do not have bar stools or even small corners where we can settle down. I cant blame them for not planning well for an offbeat customer like me who goes to their cafe once in like a year. I ended up temporarily sitting on a large sofa, that was the only empty seating place.

By this time I had become totally self conscious and started looking around, is someone looking at me chuckling slightly at being lost?, or is someone trying show me to their friends like the Dilbert looser comic strip,. I did see couple of raised eyebrows and couple of stares. By that time a coffee table became free. So I decided to sit there to avoid public attention.

I really don’t know what I was thinking when I shifted. Let me tell you a little more on this new table of mine. It was right in front of the entrance, i was facing it, to my right there was this huge group of girls shouting about how they need to be in touch after college. So there I was sitting, trying not to show them they might end up like me , after few years after college, and also not look like a fool to every couple/group that enters the cafe. Sometimes I thought the owner might ask me to go home, as people coming in seeing a lone guy might decide against entering :).

The latte came, and I took out my book. I had just bought that book, I just wanted to do something while drinking coffee and had planned to go back as soon as the coffee finished. I started to enjoy myself. I liked the book and the music playing in the stereo, even though I could here most of the conversation that surrounded me initially, later I could concentrate on my book.

I didn’t realize when the coffee got over. I was 50 pages into the book when I realized its almost 9, I had spent like an hour there just reading and drinking. I did look around in between whenever new people came in. But I was not getting embarrassed at all. I had hoped to meet some nice people there. Thought that didn’t work out, I really liked picking up my something which I had left on April 7th 2006. The last day I hung out alone in a bar.

So now that I am back on my own. I think I will start the prowl for better places.

P.S. Contrary to the popular belief that I went to meet “someone” there or hoping to meet
“someone”, I was just trying to do what I used to do before and was missing :).

Posted in "Theory of pursuit"

Emancipation – Dont know what to say

Before I start my ramble, as this is not such a common concept amongst us, I have just copied a para about the legal meaning of the word Emancipation from Wikepedia. Here it goes

Emancipation of minors is a legal mechanism through which a person below the age of majority gains certain civil rights, generally identical to those of adults. An emancipated minor is free of any authority from his or her parent or other legal guardian. The extension of these rights, as well as the remaining prohibitions, vary according to the jurisdiction.

Now practically speaking, its like divorcing your parents. I am not sure why, but I have never thought divorce as painful, I have always felt if that’s happening the couple end up happier than staying on, much like the “break ups” which seem to be so common on campus. But just a wild thought about Emancipation, stirred my whole set of beliefs.

Not so long ago divorces were very uncommon in India, and now it kind of eased itself into our society, and I felt Emancipation is not that far. So being the self proclaimed imaginary, I started imagining how would I feel If I were to file for Emancipation. Legally speaking there is nothing I can emancipate from, Only thing I would accomplish is totally get out of any legal obligations I hold towards my parents, and in the similar way my parents will get rid of any legal commitments towards me.

The whole point of this post was not the legality, as all my other posts, its about emotions attached. Parents have a really odd way of showing their emotions. We cannot blame them because, they are also disciplinarians, providers and also menders of any problems we face. With all that added on the real emotions can get hidden when doing different duties. Now if they have to think they need not do any of these roles, its kind of scary. Next time they see their son fall, they need not lift him up, they see their son sick they need take him to the hospital, when he has no food to eat, they cannot provide him food. Just think all this they have to do, when they are doing fine by gods grace.Can you imagine this? Letting your children struggle when you are happy?

I might not have strong paternal instincts yet, nor do I understand this aspects of other parents, And I definitely have never had a chat with a girl/mother about their maternal instincts. But I cannot see doing this to my children.

Now I could have written the same thing with a role reversal, where a son may lead a good life with parents struggling. But the relationships are not equal on both ways. When a son/daughter faults in taking care of their parents, it is kind of his job to take care, so if he doesn’t he is to blame. [Let me put it this way, we have seen lonely parents when children have not taken care of them].In most of these cases, it is his decision, so the pain may not be much for him at least.

The other way round where parents are forced not to take care of children. This somehow haunts my thoughts.

BTW the biggest question on my mind now is, Why do I think about all these things?

Posted in poésie

Fall of a Caterpillar

Caterpillar crawls up the pillar,
lots of legs, but climb, damn slow,
lots of effort, little result,
determination never too less,
just a slide, too steep the fall,
much lower, than where it started,
more determination, re-begin the climb,
both the pillar and the cat say,
it was no ones fault,
cant help, the guilt remains,
the “guilt” remains.

DISCLAIMER: Not based on any single incident

Posted in Dilemma, Moi

Yet another dilemma

What should one do, if he feels his friend needs help and he/she does not ask for it.
Added to that, he is not sure if his friend is really in need of it.
What will you do?

1. Try not to worry and stop trying to help
[Totally not me]

2. Forcefully try to help.
[This might hurt friends feeling].

3. Try to find out more, using not so straight means, and then decide?
[sounds tempting, but not so much correct]

help please…

Posted in "Theory of pursuit"

Lifestyle Addiction – Social problem or personnel scare?

Addictions are always these deadly devils, and always associated with visibly harmful thinks like Alcohol,drugs, smoking, tobacco etc, But there are much more harmful addictions than these, which may lead to a lot more stress and worry when you cannot support those any more.

People who have grown up in average to above average earning families have been through a lot of financial problems growing up. Lifestyle of these people are also average to above average, you might like eat once/twice a month outside, may be have a monthly once outing to a movie hall, do some clothes shopping once a quarter, and may be buy a commodity once in two years. This pretty much sums up my growing up time. I was absolutely fine with that. We do have some dreams but we know our and our family limitations, and we are not so bent upon that all our dreams needs to be fulfilled.

Lifestyle has changed over the years, its no longer cool to eat at home over the weekends, its cool to spend like 40 bucks on a coffee, which you would not even drink at home. Its cool to spend 150 bucks on a movie and even get out of it in middle if you don’t like it.Please don’t get me wrong, I am not saying people should not do these things. I am just saying that the lifestyle has changed.

I don’t care much now when I spend like 200 bucks per meal once a week, nor when I shop once/twice a month for clothes. I don’t even think much when I spend 5000 to 10000 bucks when we go for a vacation once in two/three months.

Now this seems to be a dangerous addiction sometimes. Our lifestyle seems to be so much dependant on the abnormal growth in our earnings. Though a 20/30 % in salary annually is pretty common, our expenditure has grown at a much faster rate. Just look around, you will find lot of people with fat salaries with a even fatter mortgages.

Can we sustain this?.
Can we sustain the 2 digit growth our techie companies have been reporting over years.?
More dangerous thing is, are we prepared to accept if we cant sustain.?
Has our addictions gone far beyond rehabilitation?.
Can we get back to our old average life?

Posted in Moi, Soul crap, thème

Yet another happy post- What has happened to me.

Including today I have lived for 9286 days. Out of these days there are only few days which I can remember. Of those days there are only few which really stand out,I thought it would be really nice to identify these days, and may be come up with some of the biggest days and reasons why they are so big.

1.[Reality] For most of my early childhood my father used to work away from home. Of the few days he used to visit us, this gem of a day happened. I must have got results of some test from school. I think I was in my 7th grade. I think my scores were a little off, that test, and I was a little over confidant In saying I Will make up in the coming tests. And My father said “The way you are born, Its not going to be easy out there, unless you score”.This must have been one of the biggest day in my life. From that day onwards whenever I got good or bad marks never forgot this statement.

2. [Determination] I have studied across many schools, and have been above average student in almost all of them. I happened to join a more prestigious school for my high school. There for the first time I came across stiff competition from my peers. They had just announced the results of the first test and I stood 11th in the class. This fellow student came up to me and told me.”Did you think you can outshine us easily?”. I will never forget that person in life. I was so determined after that, I have never felt the same energy after that in my entire life. I might have performed better than that later, and he might have not, But I think no one ever had challenged me till then I guess. I can still remember what time of the day it was, where we were standing and the expression in my face after hearing that.

3.[Appreciation] I was in my 10th grade and we used to have just one games period per week, and we used to wait with so much anticipation for this 45 minutes. So in one such period, I was called for to meet my class teacher. Let me tell a little about my class teacher. She was such a pain to me, She never cut any slack and always used to point out my mistakes, never appreciated that. The environment I grew up easily made me point it to her religion and convinced that she was biased towards me. So coming back to that day. I went and stood silently in front of her in the staff room, there were like 10-15 more teachers in there, and she announces to them “This is XXXXXXXX I was talking about”. And then she asks me to leave. I came to know why she was introducing me later. But that day seeing the pride in her eyes for me, This must be the best appreciation I will ever receive.

4. [Reward]. It was beginning of my final year of my engineering, and the software industry was just out of slump, not many companies coming in to campus, and I was determined to work and not continue study anymore. After doubting my abilities for 3 years I was so low on self confidence that day, And finally it happened, they said at 2am I was the person selected. I must have been so many times happy with the kind of scores I got, the kind of rewards and recognition but this one was the biggest for me. This got my self confidence back. I am not sure what state I would be If I was not selected that day.

These 4 were like the biggest days I could choose. There Is one more day, I didn’t want to club with my materialistic days, as it is a little personal. Here it is.

5. [Realization]. That day I came to know that, there were possibilities that the hints given by her and her friends might have been true. after so many years of dismissing everything. this though a little sad, as nothing could have been done, but will still be one of the biggest days.[nothing more on this one]

I do have a wish though, to all people who read this. Try this exercise, This has brought back so many happy and sad memories, and also made me think how important it was to me. I am sure all of you will enjoy doing the same.

And going with my earlier theme. “Joy of being Discovered” Lets see if anyone has the patience to rate 1-4 of the days I was talking about. Lets see how many come close.

Posted in Moi

Joy of being Discovered

I recently had a post of joy of discovering. I failed to realize that the joy of being discovered is way more than the first one.
Have you ever taught a kid lessons and tried to test him with a tricky question, and if the kid has answered right? how was the feeling?.
It’s pretty much the same when I felt people whom I have tried to hint now and then, have discovered me a little. It feels good.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Moi

Dare to admit you think odd?

I have to admit “No” most of the times I don’t. How many of you who read my posts think “I think different”?, If you really know me in person, without these posts, how many of you still believe “I think different?”. If all people I knew were to be asked this questions the number would reduce into way to less to count.

I generally tend to believe there must be some good in everything which people say bad. Its mostly because of my experience with people, most of them hypocrites like me. [May be a way lot more hypocrites]. People generally tend to say something is bad in following situations.
1. They hardly know anything about it.
2. They want to do it, but they cannot admit in public so end up trying to overcompensate
3. They don’t want to be the “One”, who voices against public opinion.In most of my life,
I have been in the third category. I must admit a part of the change I am trying to bring within me. Is to move as far as I can from the third category.

BPO seems to be hot topic among grown up men. I happened to be amidst a group of people who were generally talking about BPO girls. I think all the information they have about them is through the useless newspaper. I need not tell when it comes to BPO girls whats the talk of the town. I could not stand anymore, when they started talking against younger boys and girls, and their weakness due to proximity during night shifts. I finally voiced my opinion saying I don’t think that really happens. Even if it does, its not much different from work place romances in any day job like even our office. And there was a lot of talk about livin relationships. As I am a big Pro livin guy. I really started arguing it as nothing to do with sex. Finally I was asked would I do it. to which I said I may not, but I would definitely wouldn’t be against it. So I was termed this modern Indian westerner who does not understand Indian culture. I could not believe that I was termed that. But nevertheless.

I recently had a post of the my visual DNA, I am sure not many would have tried to see the link. What really surprised me was the photos I had chosen, Around 75% of them I had chosen was least chosen by others in the same category. Does it mean I don’t think like others? May be a little.

Let me list some of the socially wrong opinions I have had. I would not say they are correct or wrong, They are just my opinions.

I have always liked salman khan the hero. I don’t care what he does in person and if he needs to be punished. But as an actor I would watch his movies any day. If you want me to hate him because of his religion or because of his private life I Cant. I am always for legalizing all illegal professions In India. Anyways we know it happens if it is legal or not. I feel it does make it more safe and more people can really benefit.

I always have felt, India should not have democracy. Unless we are ruled we tend to be unruly.

People are way to much overrated and judged, Indians should understand privacy and tend to care less about others and more about themselves.

I have always felt a little selfishness is good. I believe we need to look out for ourselves.

sex is way to overrated. All the latest gossip topics in media like adultery, livin relationship, pre martial sex etc. are mainly discussed in a point of view of sex. Have we ever seen a movie/discussion or a conversation where people talk about the emotional reasons for the above? Grow up people.