Parental blues from a non parent

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I have absolutely no personal experience in any of the things I am going to post in this. I kind of have a feeling it may turn up as a total third angle judgement, but have been bugged on this so long that I thought will post.

One of the advantages of living in a extended family is you get to experience everything without getting really involved in it. You get to be brother to a cousin, sister a niece, advice some one like a big brother, act like a son to someone who may miss their kids. Pretty much anything you relationship you can dream of. Most of these relationships generally end up superficial and some which you would end up caring for a lot.

I was born into a joint family, whose joints broke even before I could really enjoy it. But still I grew up very close to all my cousins, and they really played a great role filling up all my relationships. Now all of them are married and have kids of their own. I cant believe a person who was so lazy has to work his ass off at work and at home trying to take care of the kids.So as you would have guessed, whenever we meet now, all of them are with their spouse and children, so its always chaos. Obviously I cant expect the careless fun we used to have when we were kids, so most of the times I end up observing these people. Its hard to be the only single guy amidst a couple’s group.

I see these people parenting, and I cant help but feel sorry for the children. I look at these people and feel how horrible parents we have turned into. I might be blowing a little out of proportion here, but I cant help it.Look at what things we resort to get a little time to ourselves, Well I do agree that we do work a lot and not like older generations, most of them do have working parents, and grand parents not at the same house, but is all this child’s mistake? Imagine as a kid If we had to put up with all this.

It all starts with the morning, the kid does not wake up early, who’s mistake? last night somebody had to watch a serial, so did not put the kid to sleep till 11, poor kid how can it wake up at 7 sleeping at 11?. the answer I get is why cant the kid goto sleep we just want to catch a little glimpse of our fav serial. Common if the kids can do everything on their own they would not be kids anymore..

Next big thing is the breakfast. I have seen these days kids, they make fuzz a lot about eating whether it is lunch breakfast or dinner. But why?, they want people to pamper them and make them eat. But parents do not have time.. so they try to force the meal onto the kid, to eat a single chapati kids take up around 30 mnts who has so much time?, but can we blame kids for it?

After school they are back, As a kid I used to hate the fact that my mom used to be at work when I come back, invariably kids are at day care and we know how much of personal attention
they get there. So By the time they come home they will be in absolute need of personal attention And parents are too busy watching sitcoms or news. The kids have to be content with cartoons. and can we blame them? and dinner is a bug exercise too.

Look what we are turning our kids into, people who do not have care for relationships, do not value age, do not care for sharing. all this is constantly reducing human values in them. But look at the greater damage we are doing to their personality.

How many of the parents take their kids to park atleast thrice a week?
Cant you just read something other than comic and try to teach them a lesson?
One day atleast instead of cartoon network, get them to play with you and your spouse,
Try to teach them something about the relationships, like grand parents, show them how you
care for parents and they are too sharp and atleast they will want to try to do the same.
Make them develop some hobbies like painting, music or even just simple things like
encouraging them to speak extempore.
Dont let them watch movie, just because that will keep them occupied for 3 hours for you to
finish your chores, try to keep them occupied in something which adds to their personality Correct them when they do not respect people around them,
Finally please do not get the feeling of richness soak into kids, I know it looks cooler when your kids can recognise all cars and sing songs from movies, cant you make them do the same and recognise more important things like books, musical instruments, make them learn some small shlokas.
Make them grow into something better than what we are, not worse.

I totally forgot to add, The day I can commit to do atleast half of the above things. I would be ready for a kid of my own

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6 responses »

  1. You have caught some of the very simple things what kids miss these days. It has become a routine for them too and I am sure you are able to write about this today. But today’s kids when they grow up will not be able to write about this as they would not know that something like this existed.

    Changing times and generations

  2. Really am surprised, people commented on one post where in I thought I was totally judgemental from outside. As some wise lady said appreciations comes when you least expect it 🙂

    @Vijay
    I really missed touching upon that point in my post, the saddest part is kids dont even realize what they are missing. I pity my niece when she does not even get to eat food made by her mom, and always has dinner when she is at my place. And my cousin does not recongnize or atleast behaves as if she does not know the reason why her kid does not eat at home

    @Saumya,
    Now that you have set your standards high, it must have been a brilliant one, it got a comment out of you, just kidding 🙂

  3. Pingback: Retro thoughts.. « Virtual Ramblings

  4. Parenting is all about discipline.. and when we lack in it ourselves.. how do we get the kids to acquire some!! Some parents learn the hard way that daily discipline is the only way for peace to reign in the household.. others just crib bitterly without an inkling about where they are going wrong.. many (read me..) just stumble along in a middle world!!

    Preethi, I think these are the things young couples should really think and plan when they decide to have a family.
    -Rambler

  5. hmmm…lucid thoughts from a non parent…
    parenting is not that easy…I think each parent brings along his/her parenting styles…trick is to make it click…

    TA, You know your comment made me think about one of the guys in my workplace keeps telling, No one can write a book as to how to handle wives, you just try something and hope it works 🙂
    -Rambler

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