Lift- My attempt at Haiku

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Recently came across this form of poetry called Haiku, Its basically a short form of 17 syllable Japanese verse. Haiku-poems can describe almost anything, but you seldom find themes which are too complicated for normal People’s recognition and understanding.
So here it goes my first attempt at Haiku

lift
Walked alone into the park, head down
looked around. surprised to see so many people
All it took was just a lift of the head.

Interested people can check this out
Haiku for people

The question though, is did I make it simple and easy to understand..

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5 responses »

  1. uh.. the first and the third lines are supposed to be only 5 syllables each, and the second like, 7.

    yours came up to much more than that.
    but your verse was good. i liked it

  2. yeah I didnt have much idea regardimg how to count the number of syllables. so just wrote 3 lines 🙂

    btw one of your friends told me. I need not be so politically correct. so when you say good verse ???? does that apply here too?

  3. i think she also mentioned that she has ‘blatantly honest friends,’ and that kinda includes me..lol
    i genuinely liked the concept. i wouldnt have commented other wise :p

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