Firstly I would like to apologize to all people, I was trying to do something stupid on my blog yesterday because of which some of my old posts have started showing up as new, All people who have me on their feed reader, sorry for the inconvenience.
I had a really foody weekend, I had been to some really nice restaurants and had some xcellent food. On Saturday I was invited to a party by my cousin, who was here from Hyderabad [another city in India]. He had set up a party for all male cousins of his, at a bar.
For people who dont know me that well. I used to drink alcohol. I was never a big drinker nor a regular one, but I used to once in a while. It all started when I was about to finish my university, since I was the youngest in my age group of cousins, they had already started to work and drink occasionally. I used to go with them for dinner or parties, and used to be the odd man out when it comes to drinking. I had one of my principles that, I would not drink out of my Father’s money. That meant that till I start to work no drink. I used to get tempted naturally due to curiosity and I used to take a sip or two from my cousin’s glasses. Once I started to work I used to take a 4/5 drinks in a month. I used to love vodka and cocktails were my favorite. Then on my trip to US got hooked on to Bud-light, and used to have like 4 beers per week. After coming back to India I almost got back to my original habit of around 4/5 drinks per month.
Suddenly some time in November 2006, I felt this sudden urge to stop the habit. I think I wanted to test my self control and test my drive regarding the un-cling policy. I stopped to drink. I did not have a drink for long time. I just broke my vow during my recent vacation which I don’t regret. It was a conscious decision to enjoy the exotic drinks which I wont get in other places.
Coming back to the subject. When I walked into the party, I knew I did not want to drink, I also knew that my cousins wont let me “not” drink. More than that I did not think I could control myself. I thought with all people drinking and me thinking that drinking is not bad, might tempt me into having a drink. The worst part is having people egging you to just take a sip.
I sat on a table with 7 people drinking and discussing drinks, I ordered a coke to begin with. Almost at the end of the coke. I had heard all kinds of comments from my cousins. Apparently “I have stopped because of my non existent girlfriend” also I have stopped because “My mom found out” [not that she didn’t knew before], I have stopped because “I have someone in sight”, the list goes on… Anyways I did not really heed to any of the comments. But internally I knew the smell was tempting me, just to take a sip.
I finished my coke and ordered a mango drink, also my mind had cleared by then. It was just the anxiousness about not drinking more than the want to drink. I had survived. I had survived a big test. I guess my self control towards temptation is not all that bad..
Drink was just a symbol I guess, it was the symbol of weakness, it was symbol of attachment. I really wanted to do this. I sometimes think, “The worst person to meet in a battlefield, is not your worst enemy but yourself“. It feels really good when you emerge victorious.