Posted in poésie, thème

Confidante – My shot at translation

I have never given respect to a translated work, I know that its not easy to translate something. Its tough to retain the feel and the power of the original work, but still somehow I didnt respect this form of art,
Today I wanted to take a shot at this, wanted to translate something, and hopefully avoid a literal translation.
For people who don’t know, my mother tongue is kannada. Recently there is a surge in kannada music, new singers, new music makers, and most importantly to me, new lyricists
I kind of liked this song, so thought of translating the lyrics.

Courtesy Jayanth Kaykini the lyrics writer for kannada song.

He is not my confidante,
and I, was never his.
He is not my love,
but has come really close to my heart.
Even in pain, he is smiling,
Why is it like this?

Hey, my good heart, please listen
please don’t slip, please, not towards him.
Why do you need this unwanted liberty.
Let the distance be.

He is not my love,
but has come really close to my heart.

In the path of love,
he brings to me both roses and thorns.
In the ocean called my heart,
he has brought, a big splash of waves.
An unknown feeling,
I am not sure why.

Hey life, which I had forgotten as known,
please prevent me from falling for him,
Please stop me from losing,
Please save me.

He is not my love,
But has come really close to my heart,

Even though he knows it well,
he has lost himself.
He has gotten into a whirlpool called love,
even without knowing to swim.
He knows the art of smiling even in his death,
This is something unsettling.

The sound of his drowning,
Has made him stretch his hands.
I am afraid, my heart will slip,
This is something unsettling.

He is not my love,
But has come really close to my heart.

Posted in Moi, Realité

Falling in my eyes

When you meet people who are older to you, you expect some decency, discipline and something which is worth learning from them. I generally have respect to most people, because they have helped me in being the person I am.

Once you start to work, most of your day is spent with colleagues and they do kind of become like an extended family. I tend to expect good things from them, at least people whom I chose to be around. Then they do something which makes them fall into such lows that they start to disgust me.

He is married and he also has a daughter, how can he make such comments about a girl, a woman who is his colleague. I know its pretty normal for guys to show interest in women, and appreciate their beauty more often, but talking about a girl, with such demeaning language, getting to the details physically, is that something he thinks is a joke?. I am sure just like me others who were around him, may have smiled at that moment, but would have a preferment damaged opinion about him as a person.

This is not the first time he has done something like this, just because it is an all male group, it does not allow him to talk about any nonsense which he calls a joke. Fortunately there were some sane people around me yesterday, who made sure he understand thats not something I will tolerate and he went quiet.

One thing is for sure, he cannot rise again in my eyes,
Also the guilt of being a part of such conversation, which I feel, when I see her almost everyday at work will never go.

You suck man.

Posted in "Fifty Five Words ", "Theory of pursuit"

Morality

Advisory boards all around, so are the advisers.
You ought to do this,
Don’t even think about that,
Why do you need that,
What were you thinking.

Who’s the person who gave you power,
power of deciding right and wrong.
power of putting guilt in innocent minds,
forcing them to rebel against system,
System which they don’t even understand.

Were you talking about morality
were you?

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Moi

PDA, Taboo?

I have written in past about my discomfort towards physicality in social life and also public display of affection. This topic was almost out of my mind, until a recent article in a leading daily of Bangalore. Not many people are aware of the term PDA, they have not heard about it nor really concerned about the same. The worst part of this whole episode was my dad asking me what does PDA mean. Firstly I am embarrassed in general, now explaining what it means to my dad was totally out of question. I quietly escaped saying its a kind of a hand held mobile phone :). Just in case, you guys think this is was a smart move, my father continued reading the article and found out what it means. Now came the fun part, he explaining to me what it really means.

Coming back to the article, it was about some schools in Bangalore banning PDA on their campus. Now the interesting part was, what they considered as PDA. Apparently the students of these schools are not supposed to kiss or hug in public, well this is partially acceptable to me, the worst thing was, they are not even supposed to hold hands. This I don’t agree.

I am from a conservative family and myself not so comfortable with the touch, but Is it wrong? Is it something which needs to be projected as taboo? I really don’t think so. Its normal human psychology for people to want to do stuff, which they are prohibited to do. By putting these restrictions, you are turning more people into rebel into doing stuff much more than holding hands. The feel of guilt you are creating in youngsters through these things towards something as simple as holding hands, can be irreparable.

Why cant people realize there is much more to a relationship between a boy and a girl than just sex. This tagging of love and sex to any relationship involving a boy and a girl is totally demeaning the gender relationship.

As I said already, I may not chose to hold hands, hug or kiss someone, even If I do, may not be in public, I may not be comfortable seeing other people do it too, But I don’t consider that wrong. As far as people who feel its wrong, it just shows me their immaturity in understanding human relationships, and a lot of dirt in the head.

Posted in Moi, Randomness, Realité

Random Randomness

Reason for Randomness:
Yesterday was one of the busiest day at work, was working from 3am to 6am and then from 9am to 7pm and then 8pm to 11pm, with just 15 mnts lunch break and a coffee break of about 10 mnts. Thats the busiest I have been in years I guess. Worst part of the day was not work, but my tummy. I had a real bad shooting stomach ache for almost all the day yesterday. Looks like junk food does harm you :). So the personal time I keep for reading blogs and writing my posts was taken away yesterday by all the other stuff. Today began better with my tummy, but a little busy at work, as I spent 2 hours out of office. I have not yet gotten back to my grove but just few random things here today.

Random Conversation:
S. Did you feel bored yesterday. [wrt a function/ceremony I attended]
Rambler: Nope I didn’t. Why do you ask.
S. Just like that.
Then I was thinking, I always find functions boring, but not that much that day. This was my explanation of the reason to myself.
“All things are boring, it is person for whom you do those things for, that adds interest to the boring things.”
looks wise right 🙂

Random Dilemma.
I had a dream on Monday night. [yes after a long time]. The dream was that I am planning to do something, it appeared like I am very much interested in that thing.
First time without a proper reason I chose not to do that thing.
Then Some person comes and describes to me how good that “thing” felt when he experienced the same. This time I make up my mind to this. Walk up to that place, and somehow I forget why I went there and come back without doing that thing,
After coming back I feel so foolish, this time I step out with full determination to get that “thing” done. And this time someone places a big string of thorns below my feet.
So now the dilemma, What was the dream hinting at.
Is it telling me not to do something?, is it trying to show me how much it is trying to avoid me from doing something?
OR
Is it trying to make me more determined, make me realize there can be many problems, but still I need to continue trying.

Random Ranting:
Why do people not respect time of other people. Well grown, educated, literate, responsible persons too don’t respect time. How can you keep someone waiting, when he/she has adjusted schedule so that it works for you. Not only you come late but also argue that you were right?. Who says just because you informed someone that you are going to be late, it is not your mistake anymore. Some people never learn.

Random Fact:
Saturday was spent shopping, been quite a while since I shopped this much
So this is for people who complain I don’t spend much 😉
4 T-shirts 1200Rs
Lunch for two at KFC 150Rs
A New Mobile phone 6000Rs
A New Sterio headset 650Rs
Evening snacks at a favorite joint 25Rs

Random Botheration:
On my middle toe of my left foot, just at the end of the nail, it itches a lot. I have no clue what to apply for it to stop. I just hope it becomes numb after few days of itch 🙂

Posted in poésie

Silence

As a kid, the first thing I probably did was to cry,
Cry with nothing on mind and for no reason,
I probably wanted to say something,
but why, why didn’t you give me words.

Soon I learnt to speak, the first things I probably learnt were words,
Words, they just came out, sentences and conversations
I probably wanted to spread something,
but why, why didn’t you give me knowledge.

Soon I started education, it brought along with it a bit of knowledge
Knowledge of how things work, how they are made,
I probably wanted to create something,
but why, why didn’t you give me ideas.

Soon I ended my education, towards the end it did give me ideas,
Ideas to make money, gain fame, and make myself a big name,
I probably wanted to achieve something,
but why, why didn’t you give me a goal.

I began to understand about goal, that I had to create one, myself,
Goals that define what I am, what I need to be, what I need to get rid off,
I probably wanted to enrich my soul,
but why, why didn’t you give me realization.

Wish I realized sooner, things which are not important,
Words, knowledge, ideas, goal, realization really does not matter,
I probably wanted to get rid of the voices in my head
but why, why didn’t you give me Silence.

Posted in Moi, Realité

Vegan by choice?

I have been a vegetarian by birth. I say it “by birth” because it was not me who decided against eating meat, it was forced onto me by my parents, family and religion. I am not saying I want to eat meat and am being held back because of somebody. I am just saying it was not my choice to begin with.

Not many people would like this, but any religion is not free of hypocrisies. When my religion does not allow to eat meat, so called strict followers are allowed to eat egg but not meat. I don’t want to start the whole debate of egg being vegetarian. I can’t take the fact that people say, they don’t want to eat meat because its against religion.

I have no problem with eating egg and even dairy, I just cant get myself to smell meat. This might be because I have been brought up away from meat. At a point, I wanted to get rid of all my inhibitions and start trying out stuff, I wanted to experience everything and then decide what I really like to do and what not.

First I tried was smoking, I just took a puff and could not take it at all, the worst part with smoking is the smell, I start getting red watery eyes and my nose starts burning with the smoke. So I stopped it.

Next on line was meat, I really was all set to try meat, In fact some of my cousins are meat eaters and they did order me a piece of chicken, when it came to my table, it was so well disguised that I could not have made out if the waiter had not told. With a lot of courage I took the piece close to my mouth, but could not do it. All these years I convince myself, that I don’t eat meat because, I chose not to, but deep down I think I know, I know that it was my failure to unlearn, defeat, get over my inhibitions regarding meat. I would have probably not liked it even if I had tasted it, and may be that would have confirmed that I am vegetarian by choice.

I kind of avoid to get near meat with pungent odors, the worst I have smelt so far is roasted pork. I think thats the worlds worst smelling stuff that people can put into mouth. There is one thing which surprises me a lot, my tolerance for the meat eaters. I have never felt bad when a person eats meat on the same table as me, I have seen so many people I know get disgusted by this, but surprisingly I have never felt bad about sharing a table. If the odor is not too strong I have really no problem with sharing the table.

Lastly, I would be not totally honest, if don’t mention, one piece of meat which tempted me. It has to be “shrimp”, though it looks ugly and slimy there is something in that which tempted me.

I am still not so sure what should I call myself, vegetarian by choice or by lack of it.

Posted in Moi, Realité

Cheapskate, me?

Dressing style is one thing which can be as personal as it can get to a person. Each one have our own preference when it comes to type of clothes, material and of course color. Men are expected to be least bothered about all these. Not quite sure why. I don’t worry too much about my maintianing my clothes, but I have to admit that I am quite choosy when it comes to choosing/buying them and I have my own taste.

It is very rare that I see another person wearing the same kind of clothes as me. Don’t mistake that I have a weird looking taste that no one likes, but I do tend to choose a lot, and I have to say very fussy shopper when it comes to it. I dont think you can find many people with the same clothes as mine.

Apart from the normal collection of my whites and blues, I do have a huge collection of one liner Tshirts, which I treasure. I normally have an eye open to such Thirts when I am out, because they are things which you cant buy when you want to shop for clothes. I mean when you want to, you never get the good ones.

I always dress casual to work, with Jeans and Tshirts most of the days, and people do notice the sayings on my shirt. This is the most wierd part, when people try to read your shirt. Some are courteous enough to stop you and say they want to read what my shirt says. I have had numerous instances when people have remembered me with what my Tshirt had to say.
There are lot of people who want to hide the fact that they are reading your shirt. Men tend to read it as fast as they can, and you can see the disappointment in their faces when they cant finish reading before you pass.
Women find it more tough I guess, when they see a person whom they dont know, they dont want to stop him to read what the shirt says, but they are curious to know. They try to read it, but then they dont want to be cought staring, so they do lot of circus to read. Some times its hilarious when you catch strangers trying to stare at your chest. The mysterious, half shy, half emberassed smile, followed by avoid of the eye contact is simply hilarious.

Today it happened to me. I was in a busy fast food chain having lunch. This girl may be in her late 20’s [girl??? :)] passes by. The saying on the shirt looked like a little out of normal. Not many times I have been in this situation, where I try to read of a stranger women’s shirt. Now I found it really odd to share at her chest. As a boy/man you would have done it so many times [ honest admission], but still I found it really odd. First time I tried to read it, I could catch only first line, and then it happend, she caught me reading [hopefully she didnt think I was staring]. And then I wanted to just forget that, but the curiosity to complete the sentence was frustrating. Just when she was about to go out of the joint, she walked past me head on, and I read the second line.

I am sure, she would have thought, “What a cheapskate”.