Its strange how simple conversations can bring upon great insights into knowledge. One of my uncles had come home, and we were casually discussing, a topic of death came up, one of our relatives had died. He was quite old and he died all of a sudden when he had been to a saloon to get his hair done. Apparently his father too had did without suffering. My uncle quoted an Indian philosopher “A persons greatness[spiritual/karma] can be always seen in his death“. Not many people get the opportunity to die a peaceful death, I have seen people suffering heavily, being bed ridden. unable to even do their daily duties, depending on others for everything. Its a really difficult for the person and the people who need to take care of them. The worst part is the feeling of the dependency that kind of hurts apart from the suffering.
I guess the statement is really true, people who have peaceful death have done something really great.
Let me try to provide a little build up before the actual quote. The last week had been a little relaxing work wise, has been long since I had this time off, and my friend at work has been having a really tough fortnight, with lots of work. This one day last week, after a long session of discussion which had both of us, I come out and claimed, “I have a terrible headache, but I need to review your code”. He replies back
“Hey take a nap, I am feeling guilty” and a short pause
I thought he is feeling guilty for giving me a headache, he continues
“I am feeling really guilty of robbing myself of some sleep.”
This is a statement made at 4 pm on a really busy day, that too when I accidentally wake him up to tell I am struggling to review his code.
This really cracked me up, knowing how serious he is about his work, I simply could not resist a big smile on my face.
I seem to have developed into a strange species. One of my friends says to me “Oh man, you are so diffi to understand“, I had really no clue about this, a little surprised though 🙂
Recently not sure what has changed about me, what vibes I am giving out, may be I am somehow projecting I am unhappy about certain people, am I?
Its happened at least thrice with one friend, once today with my another, they are offering me apologies. I am not sure if they should, nor sure about did it need one.
A little confusing.
Finally I fulfilled my dad’s wish of a DTH service, Today we got a new DTH connection, two people had come to install the dish and to do the concealed wiring of the digital cable. Now the surprise was they was a guy and a girl. I have seen people of all gender work in many professions, but physical work, had not seen much women being an electrician, or cable guy.
Looks like India has finally found the real meaning of equality.
BTW my mom was really happy that I brought her a small FM player, she had been asking mine [which had been long lost, and she does not believe that]. She thought today was parents day, I got both of them what they wanted. Pleasant surprise 🙂
For people how know me, its not surprising that I don’t speak much on telephone, I generally use it to just give/ask the information. For a person like me imagine to be on call for 5 hours straight, it happened on Saturday, a work related call stretched for 5 hours. It has happened before, just once when I was on a call which ran for 9 hours, but then this one was on a Saturday, with my mind totally off work. Tough luck 😦
This weekend was not foody after along time, I did go out on Friday night, but very little food, and then Saturday and Sunday have been really light on food. Looks like I am all set for a heavy food week soon 😉
If you guys remember I was talking about random memories last week, and how I was getting memories of a certain friend P. Suddenly she sent me an email yesterday, telling me she has lost my number, and asking If I could send it again, she’s planning to call me sometime coming week, cool right 🙂
*wondering, does she have my blog link??, wow that’s dangerous!*
I have been very harsh on my juniors at work last week, both with my reluctance to help them and choice of words, I know I was wrong doing that, but I wanted them to learn, I didn’t want them to take the easy way out and just get the work done from us, I kind of gave them directions to solve a problem, where to look for, and where to find information. I could have solved the problem and given them the information myself, but I didn’t. I wanted them to learn the hardway so that they will surely learn. You could hear me saying, what happened to all the trainings I gave, shouldn’t you have googled this out?. I am sure they would have thought how big a jerk I am.
I guess we got to draw the line, if they are not learning on their own, we got to take few steps.
I goof up often, I end up making really wrong statements, This might totally put a wrong idea to people who think I make some sense. The damage I am capable of doing is a very restricted bunch of people who are literate, educated and capable people, who have enough brain power to chose the right and ignore the rest I dish out.
Add common public to the equation, you got a total new situation. When you have a mixed audience of illiterate, confused, and blind followers, The amount of damage you can do is really huge and irreparable. When noted personalities goof up, it really hurts the people in wrong areas. Add a dash of political agenda, and feminism, and gender bias into the plate, you can create a real big drift and a debate.
Some days back our honorable Minister of State for Women and Child Development made a statement, which was criticized/appreciated widely by large number of people, before I get to the statement and what I think about it, just a look at what could be the intent. Was she trying to gain political mileage, more like a publicity stunt?, was she trying to be a feminist over here, or was it a genuine mistake, probably only she can answer.
Coming back to the statement she made. Here it is.
You cannot trust men or your husbands. If you believe that men will be careful, then you can forget about protecting yourself.
You cannot trust men or your husbands. Men may bring the virus home after sleeping with other women.
Sometimes, women face difficulties for showing power to negotiate safe sex with their husbands.
You can read the rest of the statement here.
I would like to look at this in two parts, firstly what it means to the educated class of people, but not just women, people in general. Does she mean to say the relationships you are in are not trustworthy?, what does this mean “men or your husbands”, is this the new look of Indian women? Does she bring infidelity and casual sex in into Indian marriage?, I guess I am looking to read too much in between the lines.
I would definitely advocate protection, but its not just for yourself, its both for you and your husband, this statement mainly talks about one form in which AIDS can spread, thats unsafe sex. What about spread by unsafe needles, or blades and so on. Even if we assume only men stray, in all other ways it can spread, both the genders are in equal treat. So shouldn’t this be more about protection then lack of trust in men?, shouldn’t this be more about awareness of methods to prevent AIDS rather than feminism?
Lets move onto the next set of people, the ignorant, illiterate and the follower category. Here is where the minister made more sense. Even though India is a developing country the amount of people who fall into this category is very high. The biggest problem in this sect is lack of awareness. They may not even be aware of the disease or ways it can spread, just asking them to use condoms, may not really help. I really don’t know how much is being done on this front. All I Can see are huge concerts being arranged for fund raising towards it. Is our minister planning anything on that front?. If thats is done, her strategy might really work. I mean advertising the advantages of condom might be really helpful, but I don’t see why just women.
In retrospect, I feel her strategy is really good, but needs some more insight where she can really drive it. More than all this, I think she needs proper choice of words when she has a noble intent in mind. If she really has one. If she is doing for her own personal or political mileage, actually I don’t mind, as long as it is helping more people and misleading them.
I started posting this planning to criticize this step of hers, but I guess she deserves the benefit of doubt, Even though I don’t agree with the words I definitely support the intent.
My face almost turns red with anger,
One thing that annoys me the most,
You get to see that side of me,
Whose existence, you can’t even imagine,
And you ask Do I ever get angry?
When will people understand,importance,
Importance of other’s time.
Waiting does feel sweet,
Rare occasions, Rare people.
They think I am 74% addicted to blogging,
I once a while blog about blogging addiction at around 11:45 in the night. 😉
My good blogger friend silverneurotic has given me yet another blogger first, my first blogger community award. I have been awarded the “The power of schmooze”.
Actually I had not heard of this award, and with my poor vocabulary first thing I had to do was to look up what schmooze means.
schmooze or schmoose also shmooze Slang.
To converse casually, especially in order to gain an advantage or make a social connection.
According to silver,
“this is an award to celebrate those bloggers who not only write awesome blogs, but also are the friendly type who enjoy commenting on other’s blogs, reply to their comments, etc“
Now thats a compliment right. I hope so, it should not be an indicator of joblessness, not only a blogger is jobless enough to right blogs but also write and reply to comments..
I know how much I enjoy reading what people write and also let people know what I think about the same. When someone has cared enough to let me know what they think about my posts, how can I chose not to respond.
Now the difficult part, the part where I pass on the award to five other fellow bloggers. There have been so many friendly, passionate bloggers around, who really care about my posts as well as their opinion. Now to chose five among them is really difficult. This does not mean others dont have the power of schmooze. Its just my choice at this moment.
She has been one awesome of a blogger and a great commenter. Thing I loved about her was that, its always is easy to appreciate the work someone does, but, when it comes to pointing little issues not many have the courage. I used to put up photos without crediting the artist. Daisies being an artist herself was sweet enough to let me know the mistake I was making and made me realize how bad it feels for an artist when their art is not credited. I really liked that she cared so much.
One little complaint though, she never replies to comments :), guess she is really busy and with that many people commenting its tough too.
I have never met her personally, like most of the people whom I have known through the blog. What I like about her is that, she is honest in her comments, and I guess one of the only few readers who makes an effort to see what I responded to her comments. I love this aspect of hers. This shows she really wants to know what the other person feels.
She is one the best lurkers you can ever find, she hardly comments on my blog, but I have a feeling she does read every one of them. Once I had written about lurkers who dont comment and she honestly wrote to me that she is one such. She posts mainly about what she feels and is really short and amazingly honest.
Now guys, knowing how boring she can find things, the fact that she almost reads whatever crap I dish out, is a proof that she has an awesome power of smooze, though not so passionate about replying to comments and writing replies, I know whats her intent.. so for this one is for her latent power.
I so much want to give this back to silver, she has been on hell of a friendly blogger for such a long time, she cares what you write about, and makes sure she replies to your comment, I know how hard it is for her, with all the night shifts she has to do. But she still makes sure to check my blog often and let me know what she feels like.
Tuedays with Morrie is one of the best books I have read in recent times, kind of hooked me on to Mitch Albom. I did read “The five people you meet in heaven”, though good, it could not recreate the magic of TWM. When I caught hold of his next bool “For one more day”, I was not really sure what to expect. It turned out that it is as amazing as TWM.
One can spot many parallelisms in the story he tells. As I read along, I was so impressed, I marked few things that would be amazing to re-read
Few snippets here as to why you got to read Mitch….
Mitch has amazing subtlety when he tries to put something forward, he writes
“Parents slot into postures in a child’s mind, and my mother’s postures was a lipsticked women leaning over and waging a finger, imploring me to be better than what I was. My father’s posture was that of a man in repose, shoulder’s pressed against a wall, holding a cigarette, watching me sink or swim.. In retrospect, I should have made more of the fact that one was leaning towards me and the other was leaning away.“
Sometimes we do mistakes in reading people, in retrospect we see how obvious our mistakes were, you cant believe yourself that you can do such a mistake. But again the key word being
This may sound a little cheezy and way too dramatic and filmy, but when you read in context,
it really sounds amazing. Mitch writes
“When death takes your mother, it steals the word for ever. “Mom”. Its just a sound really, a hum interpreted by open lips. But there are zillion words in this planet. and not one of them comes out of your mouth that one does.“
what really struck me was, how few words get never spoken, I mean things which used to be on
your lips always, suddenly disappear. You would feel so odd to give the same status to someone else, I guess in some minds there can be no replacements.
I always believed that more than the things, its the memory associated with them that makes
them special. Speaking about similar likes Mitch says
“I dont know what it is about food that your mother makes for you, especially when it is something anyone can make, pancakes, meat loaf, tuna salad- it carries a certain taste of memory.“
Amazing how somethings never change, I always have issues with the amount of salt my mom
puts in dishes, they are either less or more, never right. Very rarely when it is, I am sure she was not in right frame of mind that day, but again when I eat the same dish made by someone else, there is hardly “That” taste..
“When a lost loved one appears before you, it’s your brain that fights it, not your heart“
I really don’t want to spoil its effect by talking about this one.
There are things which you can easily be ashamed only in front of your dear ones, you can easily shrug of your shortcomings in front of any ones, you can fake it also, but in front of real family, you cant help the emberassament and shame. Mitch writes
“Of all the things I felt disgraced in front of my mother, being the lousy father was the worst“
There are things which you cant afford to goof up, and parenting is high on that list.
Marriage is again one thing, these writers write amazing about, be it Gibran, Bach and Albom, somehow people seem to have amazing sense about marriage. Speaking on marraige,Mitch writes.
“You have to work at it together. And you have to love three things.
1. Each other.
2. Your children (when you have some!, hint! hint!)
3. your marriage
What I mean by the last one is, there may be times that you fight and sometimes you won’t even like each other. But those are the times you have to love your marriage“
Many people I know are getting married, what better advice then this one 🙂
[hint! hint! :)]
Talking about the death of parents, Mitch says…
“That’s the thing when your parents die, you feel like instead of going into every fight with backup, you are going into every fight alone“…
How true right, it might not just be the death and not just parents, when people who are your strength, family and friends, when they move away, you kind of feel lonely through your battles.
Innocence is something, which can appeal to even cruel individuals, I loved the small note, this girl writes in a guest book at her grandma’s funeral.
“Once heaven is done with grandma, we’d like her back, thanks“
Needless to say, I loved reading the book, somehow some authors leave you wanting more, and more, and more, and ….