As a child he always wondered, what it would be like to not study, what it would be like to just learn, he found books not so exciting and competing a little boring, he always believed he is reading a wrong book or winning a wrong contest, all he was made to believe was, that he would understand more as he grew up. As of now, this was the best for him. He totally believed his support system, he always has. He was told higher grades, better college, better job, the sole key to happiness.
He never questioned, he just believed, somewhere he was more confident about the world, people around him, and he thought its all about happiness.
As he grew up and adolescence set in, he was told to focus on high school, all he had in mind was getting high marks, so he can get into a good college. His definition of happiness too had changed, it was no longer the games he played with friend, or the ever elusive expensive toys that hung out in shopping windows of a store near by. Amidst highly demanding schedules, he didn’t find time for that one relationship which was a must, that one person whom he would never forget. He always thought, this is not the time. This was time to work hard, the happiness to come lured him away from many pleasures which he fantasized about in free time.
He never had a regret, he was blinded, with dreams of the future, he was almost sure petty pleasures would lead him nowhere, and he thought its all about happiness.
Now he was an adult, but not to the outside world, he was yet to prove to the world, he had to conquer college, his final hurdle before he reaches the high earning independence which he always dreamt about. People warned him to buck up, this was the last time left to enjoy happiness, the same people who lured him into blinding dreams, told him to loosen up, but their earlier triumph was too strong to overcome, he was listening to no one, he was too much focussed on building one thing which he thought was the main weapon to achieve happiness. His life long dream. Relationships were being built around him, people mingling, ideas being born, decisions being made. He had nothing to do, everything was well thought, and choices all made.
He never looked back, nor was jealous of anyone around him, he was too strongly guided, by none other than himself, and he thought its all about happiness.
He had achieved what he set out for, something totally satisfying, something which proved himself worthy of all the supposed sacrifices he had made, he was grinning from ear to ear, with pocket full of ideas and for the first time in his life, mind totally empty, with no more pre chosen choices, no more decided decisions. He felt the feeling of reaching the peak. Couple of months down the line, he felt something missing, the goal, the dream, the passion something was gone, he could not identify what it was.
Some more time, he realized it was happiness, its definition, things which he thought would make him happy, nothing seemed to match, he began to doubt his values, his beliefs, somewhere he must have gone wrong, if not why is this now, and he thought its all about happiness.
Thats when the miracle happened, the change, the change does good to so many people, and it did to him too, he started opening up, his pleasured seem to increase, be it a book, a long walk, or a jog, or even a simple cup of self made tea, there was a zing to his life.
It felt as though they were all interlinked and interwoven, as if it was pre planned by someone who wanted good things to happen to him, the books he chose gave him a new perspective, the new perspective, gave him new interests, new interests made him more curious to learn, and so bought in new books.
He met the same people with a different approach, he heard different things from the same sentences, he started to listen to lyrics and music just happened, he spent time with himself, knowing more learning more connecting more. and he thought its all about happiness.
He remembers those days as child he spent looking out of the window, looking at careless street children playing, with just one need food, days he felt fortunate to have the kind of support system he had, the happiness he saw in them when he got home with his report card, and days when he felt absolutely out of the world by winning some battle of his own, indeed he was happy.
He remembers those days as a student, when he chose academics over movies, grades over girls, the small breaks he took between studying to peek at an episode at TV, the fun he had with his family meetings, his first personal triumph at education, the respect he earned from people, somewhere indeed he was happy.
He remembers those days in college as he developed knowledge that would feed him, the friends he picked up, the people trusted and those who trusted him, acquaintances which were to grow stronger, and people whom he loved, indeed he was happy.
Its indeed all about happiness.