Moi scrambled.


I have had so many abstract feelings floating in my head, nothing clear, nothing concrete, coupled with a highly loaded work week. I know, a “person” would really relate to most of these, no its not intentional, its just that its been on my mind all week. Please do forgive me for talking this out here. I just had to get it out, this is the only place where I have never put on my ironmask, and thats something I don’t want to loose.

  • I guess expectations are one of those things, which you want to avoid do much but never end up avoiding, there is something natural about expectations I guess which kind of makes us have them so instinctively. Expectations from ourselves, parents, relatives, friends or even people whom you just met, or have had a talk or two. As expectations in most of cases, involves more than one person, this brings the balance into picture. In most of the cases, its ends up totally unbalanced and hence but sides getting frustrated, and hurt.
  • Wish it was a mirror, the life, the expectations and feelings. But then we would miss the variety.
  • Unlike the movies, there is never a right and or a wrong. In almost everything there is only one combination, Right and Right, All of us are right in our own ways, its only that our ways do not match.
  • Sometimes age does affect the way we think, the inexperience does matter, I have been a strong believer it doesn’t, but then some instances of my one behavior has proved me otherwise, the sensitiveness sometimes does sound childish, was it me or was it my age was the question, and I always believed it was me. Some days now I feel it is age.
  • There are a few things which you find really tough, to get yourself to do it, for some strange reason, you end up in a situation where you decide to take the plunge, to really get yourself to do it, kind of open yourself up. Just hope that you chose a right person to open up to.
  • Sometimes you see a person, who you feel is so much like you, has the same feelings, ideas and perspective in life, same kind of insecurities, same zeal and likes.
  • Opinions can be so easily appreciates and so easily misinterpreted, and even more easily ignored. But in all cases it does matter.
  • Have screwed up so many times recently, many occasions one result a total blew out. Many apologies later, still not able to forgive myself.

4 responses »

  1. You have undertaken an interesting journey in this post.

    Forgiving yourself is important – and especially if you learn from the situation.

  2. @Pauline.
    Have not been able to forgive myself, never have been, one of my biggest flaws as a person, not able to forgive myself and others too.
    Should start working on this.

    I totally understand what you say, and I guess I am finding problems on either side, with my expectations and with people’s

    Mistake is very subjective, and when you have a problem with your understanding of right and wrong, when you have to redifine them learning becomes very difficult.

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