Three-Heads or Tails #17

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The topic over at skittles this week for heads or tails is “Three”. I really thought long and hard on this topic, I absolutely was drawing a blank mind every time I tried to think something, Finally I thought of three things I am proud to have learnt from my parents and those which I would be proud to pass on, when I become one.

Coming from a middle class family, growing up was not so easy for both myself and my parents, its really tough you know with the increasing prices, over expensive education, books, clothes, entertainment, and so on. The best thing my parents thought me was to value money. Its always good to have some in your pocket, and wait the right time to spend, rather not have them, and wait for the right time to make some. When someone works hard from morning to evening to earn the salary at the end of the month, it is really difficult to see someone else spend the same easily over silly things. It is very easy to fall into the trap of saying Yes to anything your kid wants, but then it really takes lot of courage to say no, and make the kid understand patiently why we don’t need that thing right now. I am glad that my parents thought me the importance of spending the right amount of money and on the right things.

Growing up, I have seen many small arguments between my parents, but then they always ended with one person letting the other win, a small compromise being made by one of them. I know its easy to say “life should not be a compromise”, but then when you stay together, and share a life, it becomes extremely difficult to accommodate one another, more importantly accommodate each other’s ideas. Thats where the compromise kicks in, you need to come up with a win-win solution all the time. Adjusting to each other is something which I have learnt from my parents. I think for all us hot headed youngsters, who still have lot of ego, and a little proud-ness that we are right, we got to understand when it comes to a relationship there is no “one” who is right, its always the couple who are right.

I think all parents have this unconditional caring and support towards their kids, I don’t want to call it blind love, because no its not, they do take care to correct their kids when they are wrong. But whenever the kid is a little low of confidence, or uncertain the parents are always there to help. I think this is a great quality to develop, ability to support anyone unconditionally, be there for them always, care for them always, make sure you care what they have to say, or what they ask from you. I think this is not just for kids, we ought to develop this towards as many people as possible. To do that Trust is really important, and thats what I learnt from my parents. Ability to trust someone, to be sure to take that little calculated risk and give the others a chance to prove themselves.

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11 responses »

  1. I never saw my parents argue. I barely saw them speak. And I completely disagree that parents have unconditional love for their children. Mine didn’t.

    But I totally understand what you said about parents being there for their kids when they’re low on confidence. I can see how much of a boost it gives to my son when I tell him “Good Job” or whatever. [Did you see how I worked in the 3 homonyms Their, there & They’re? ;-p The pronunciation might be different depending on where you live, LOL.]

    My sucky parents inspired me to be the exact opposite of them in regards to child rearing, LOL. That’s one good thing I got from them. 🙂

    Angelika, I am sorry to hear you didnt get unconditional love..
    -Rambler

  2. Sounds like you have had great parents really. These are three basic things yes, but oh so important for getting a good life 🙂 They may sound easy to some, but seems difficult for others I’ve noticed. It’s always a good thing to put these basics in words, both as a reminder to ourselves and to others.

    Captian,
    something simple makes so much of a difference to us
    -Rambler

  3. I loved reading about your parents and their give & take for their relationship. Wonderful post this week!

    Misty.
    We all take so much from our parents, unfortunately when it comes to giving time most of us turn away
    -Rambler

  4. hmm…that sounds so very familiar…and as usual well written…as parents we all hope we do teh right things by our children and this is a good insight…thank you…

    TA,
    I guess I have a long way to learn about handling children, may be I need to be more keen observer with kids around and parents
    -Rambler

  5. Unfortunately, I have to agree with Angelika. Our parents were ONLY conditional love. But I didin’t realize it until recently (which is so awful sad). My whole life I thought I was bad/wrong, whatever. All of their children suffered greatly. But I am so glad that you didn’t have that. It must be a wonderful thing. This was a great post, thank you.

    Andree.
    I am not so aware of your parents, but again may be they had their own reasons for being the way they were.
    -Rambler

  6. I have always belived “Parents always give best things to their kids; What kids pick up on their own along the away that can make them go nasty !! ” 🙂

    I can totally relate to this ..specially the second para . I dont think letting go a few things to achieve something bigger in life can be termed as compromise; doing that for someone who is so beloved is always worth it !!

    Sunshine,
    Actually the best part is, parents also try make sure kids dont pick up something nasty.
    I think I agree with you, it should not be termed as compromise, its the art of coexistance. Yes when you consider the happiness what you are letting go is very minute.
    -Rambler

  7. I have huge respect for your parents and happy that they gave you such a great example. Unfortunately mine didn’t. They had a shop and both worked 6 long days a week. There was not much time left for us and than they were to tired to be nice. I worked extremely hard not to make the same mistakes and I think I did a lot better. However still far of the way you see your parents. Everybody tries their best but parenting and marriage can be very difficult

    Marja,
    Well my parents too did work hard, you know it really does not depend on how much time they spend with you, they are always there, you can count on them, thats what matter right.
    I am sure you would have made a very good parent
    -Rambler

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