I am always intrigued by interpersonal relationships, they are so fascinating. No I am not talking about the big relationships everyone goes through. I am talking about simple unestablished, undefined, simpler but really intriguing equations which we develop with various people we know or in most cases we don’t even know. Lets keep the gender out of the discussion here, the person might be same or of opposite sex. Just the interpersonal equations are what I am trying to talk about.
Lets consider a person we meet in a bar, You have never met the person before, and we are almost sure in high probability that we will never meet again, but still in the short period you spend with him/her over a drink, you share so much, There is family involved in the discussion, profession, problems, solutions, fun, entertainment, advice and so much more. Within an hour or so, you talk so much and share so much, you would have hardly done that much of sharing with your own family in past one month. Still the very next day, the person will be as anonymous to you, as he/she was before you met them. Now isn’t this interesting, how you can get friendly for such a short time, and never meet the person again.
Lets talk about a person whom we only hear over the telephone, say an telephone operator, we would have heard the person so many times on the phone, the time you spend asking him to connect to another person would have been much more than the number of times you would have said Hi to your neighbor. But then thats the end of this equation, even though you speak so many times a day, you hardly exchange anything, there is hardly any involvement, not any exchange of information. Next time you pass the person you cant even identify that he is the person whom you were speaking to a little while ago. isn’t this fascinating, people from both the sides not caring about the “person” each one is speaking to.
Lets consider someone from the blog world, all of us out here, we give so much of information about ourselves, we interact so much, we discuss, we share ideas, we also develop passion towards fellow blogger’s writing, we care when one amongst us falls ill, we also try to help each other out in strange ways. But still in a way we don’t know each other at all, I hardly know how X Y or Z is in real life, but I know X had pizza for lunch, Y has a problem with her health, Z has to work over the weekend. Its such a nice equation, I really don’t know how to describe, a thing which we develop reading what a person has to say for such long time. There are so many blogs which I am reading from more than an year, and I have almost seen them change, move in and out of real relationships, change jobs, learn stuff. Its just amazingly wonderful.
Lets talk about people we see very often, and the equation just ends there. Say people whom we see at work, you would have seen them so many times at the workplace, in the cafe, in the hallway and so on, you see them and you think in your head, “ah!, this guy, he comes to cafe everyday at this time itself” or “Oh, this female, I think she always wears black to work”. But then thats it. It hardly changes, they will always be the people we have seen. People from traffic for that matter, people who work in close areas, with similar work timing, cross each other so often, at the bus stop, or at the intersection, you always see them. The face becomes so part of your life, but the person you have no clue about. We dont ever feel the need to go and learn more about the person.
Lets talk about a friend, I think this is one of the most misused or overused term in the english language, everyone you know is never a “friend”, or thats what I believe, and one more thing is not every friend is just a friend. We try to look for so many persons within our friends, activity partner, A person who can console us when we are down, sometimes a sister or a brother who can protect/nurture you, so many things, you in fact share things which your parents too don’t know about you, in fact in many occasions you yourself would have not observed the things your mate observes you. Some times they turn out to be just excellent gifts in your life, and sometimes things which are so nice can end up in bitterness within no time, misunderstandings can destroy something which you thought can never be shaken. Again the equations between friends can be so very fascinating.
Lets consider the other relations in one’s life, something which I call by birth relations, people who are your cousins, brothers, aunts, uncles, and so on. Even amongst them there is always different equations, some you feel so compatible with, very close, and mean a lot to you, on the other hand others even though might be very close in terms of relationship but then you don’t have anything in common with, or you feel uneasy around them. Some people are so fairly related to you, that you just meet them in a marriage or another ceremony, you talk for few minutes, and you hit it off, you call them up, go out for dinner together, and within no time, the visits increase, and a relationship which is very distant by blood would have become very close by heart. A person who you are supposed to meet once in a way, you meet them almost every other day, talk to them every day, you become close to their children, they get attracted to yours, you help each other out.. and then you have absolutely no name for the equation.
There it is, the main culprit, we always try to name a relationship, siblings, cousins, parents, boyfriend/girlfriend, and so on, If we see normally we have so many beautiful undefined relationships in our life, we just got to learn to enjoy them the way they come.
Why, Why do we always try to slot them in a relation.
I had written something similar to this about relations some time back