Aimless mid twenties.

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I have never felt aimless ever in my life, until now that is. I never had to think about developing an aim, it has been obvious all the time. Forgetting the initial few years, where I could hardly think on my own, the goals and aims have just been drafted into my life. Its so ironic, when I could think on my own, I need not have to, the norm took over.

Education and carrier has been a goal for years now, for every individual, I guess carrier is a wrong choice of a word, its more like Job sounds a better option. How many of us aimed at carrier, all we wanted was a well paying job, at the same time something we enjoyed. Not many of us are Einsteins, nor many of us think that big. May be we were plagued by the middle class complacency. Looking at your parents struggle, you can hardly think beyond a comfortable life. Hardly can we aim at being the new Dhiru Bhai Ambani. All we need was a well paid job, to keep ourself happy.

After almost 5 years of life in such a job, what next?, the question haunts me a lot. What next?, what should I aim at. Growing inside the company itself, does not excite me much. I do my job decently well, and promotions and raise does excite me a little, but somehow that is not my aim, not even my goal nowadays. So what is it that others of my age are aiming. A married life?, Love?, relationships?, sex? unfortunately none of them are exciting me, nope not even sex. I know these are eventually gonna happen. Nothing which generates that extreme passion, which can make it a challenge.

I always wonder, I must not be the only one in this dilemma, there must so many mid twenties people around me, atleast some of them must be stuck with this aimlessness. What do they think?, what do they want. Just trying to find the clue.

This aimlessness has started to affect my thinking nowadays, I want to break free, I want to work on something, well apart from my job I mean. Some of my friends have explored the options of NGO’s. To be frank, that has never excited me, no I have concerns and all, but somehow thats not my idea of an aim.

Clues anyone?

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15 responses »

  1. i guess many people in their mid twenties pass through a stage of confusion and frustration. i read somewhere that it is called the ‘mid twenty crisis’. it is a time when important decisions need to be taken in life, regarding career,marriage, family,so on and so forth. one is expected to become more mature and responsible by this age. there is a tremendous amount of pressure on a person in his/her mid twenties.

    i am, at present, caught up in career and all the works that accompany it. if i try to think of life after i reach the stage i want to,life indeed does seem aimless. as of now, it is challenging. maybe i need to look out for other challenges after i reach that stage. reminds me of a great story i read somewhere.will put it up on blog very soon. 🙂

    u seem to feel stagnant, stuck in a rut, if i m not mistaken. try to think of the times when u felt the most challenged, the most alive and passionate and figure out what you can do to feel it again.

    that’s all i can figure out. don’t know if u would agree or not. 🙂

    Priya, you got it exactly, I do feel stagnant, I am looking at new challenges, If I can’t figure out anything, I might consider going back to academics which challenged me the most.
    -Rambler

  2. You bring up a very good point… This planning and ambition seem to be the bane of every Indian Youngster’s life… We are always working hard for the next phase of our life that we forget our present…
    All through school we study hard to be the first in class
    As we finish school we study harder to get into the best college
    In college we study to get a well paid job
    At work we go the extra mile to get a promotion/ hoard money/ .. or for other million different reasons
    In the process we postpone our happiness… Take some time out to celebrate where you are today..
    Ambition and Drive is very important.. but whats more important to take time for yourself… As for the dilemma called life, so what if you don’t have the next 50 years figured out?? Break out of the flock and dare to explore!!

    Preethi,
    I have done exact things as you have mentioned, but one thing was that I am happy all through it, and I did celebrate reaching there for quite some time, but then I started to feel, what next? what should I aim for.
    I like your statement, so what If we haven’t figured it out, explore.
    -Rambler

  3. Rather than a cultural thing (as preethi mentioned), it seems to be more of a generational thing…I’m going through the same as is quite a few other people I know. When we were in our late teens and early twenties (and preparing/attending college) we had certain goals or ideas of what we wanted to do…but as we changed and matured through the years…the ideas of where we want to be also change…thus, the path that we had chosen back then that seemed exciting and fulfilling…well, it just doesn’t always seem that same way. We kind of become numb to it and fall into just going through the motions.

    I think this is why it’s important to have other things going on then just work. Some people choose the family life. Some people have some kind of hobby that takes up a lot of their time. Some people travel. You have to figure out what you need in order to keep yourself fulfilled and pursue that instead of staying in the mindset that your job is the most important thing in the world; because frankly, it’s not.

    Silver,
    What if you reach where you want to be, and then you don’t know where else you want to be.
    I am trying to find other things like hobbies, travel, and stuff, just not hitting the right note yet.
    -Rambler

  4. I believe that not only young people got this problem. Some find out early what they want in life, others get a midlife crise and discover that they are not happy with what they do and suddenly try new things. I believe in destination. That we are here for a purpose. When we have a job we can use it for our purpose but the job doesn’t have to be the purpose. I think you feel when you are on the right track. I feel happy when i work with children and when I write. (it doesn’t feel like work)

    Marja,
    Marja, that was the idea too, so how do fix our destination, or get to know it. I don’t think I am sad with my job, just thank dont know what next.
    -Rambler

  5. this is also what is called the mid life crsiis…

    which means that most people are afflicted by it…there was atime when i felt i was going nowhere…then a writing assignment happened out of the blue and i found my niche…not to say that i am doing extraordinarily good but i’m enjoying it…

    taking a break now is a very good idea, because when other responsibilitie take over, you get sucked deeper and deeper into it…you like music…explore that option…learn something new…

    🙂

    TA,
    I am just waiting for something like that to happen, and its been a long wait let me assure you.
    Let me see what I take up 🙂
    -Rambler

  6. This was the subject I went to sleep with last night. I had a talk with one of my friends, before retiring for the day, where in we came to acknowledge that we’re, for reasons unknown, alive but not living our lives. There’s almost everything we wanted and yet there is something that lacks. But we aren’t certain what we seek from life. We have no specific goal or desire in life. And the most disheartening thing was when I asked him “Tell me, are you happy now, today??” And he said “At least I’m not sad.”
    That is when I realized that, probably, this is the answer. What we need is to find out if we are happy. If we’re not, then how can we be happy?? And may be this can be a goal for the rest of our lives. To be happy, come what may.

    FullMoonOnEarth..
    How can we be happy, if only there were straight answers to simple questions like this.
    I am not sad, I am just wondering whats next.
    -Rambler

  7. Rambler: Look up the term “Quarter Life Crisis”. Serious.

    And whenever you feel something, be sure others have experienced it before you and worse, blogged or written books about it too 😉

    Shefaly,
    I did look it up, and was really surprised, I am still collating my thoughts on that, may be it will come out as a follow up post.
    hmm well currently I am selfish, just wondering what to do next 🙂
    -Rambler

  8. hmm …..aim and goals are something i thought plagued people like us ….
    this topic seems to be doing the rounds a lot …. my mom just gave me one of those you dont have no aim lectures yesterday ….and i sat down to think … what is my aim or goal ?
    and trust me it such a difficult question …. is it more money ? status ? or just a family life … there was like this huge ball of confusion in my mind … and then well i decided to leave it and go back to studying economics … concentrate on short term goals namely kick “D’s” ass in the economics exam on monday ….

    p.s…. find what ypu love doing … and it wont seem like work … atleast thats what i ahve read it all those soul motivating books …..

    BB,
    I guess I am in a little different boat, in my case it was Education, Career, Money, when that was done.
    now what next?.. The worst part is that I am doing what I love, I like my job, but still what next is hanging around.
    -Rambler

  9. It’ll come.. just keep exploring your interests. Clarity will come. Life has a way of opening up opportunities once we zero in a little bit and have the courage to put ourselvs out there. I am kind of in the same boat….and in a way, I am saying this to myself as well :).

    Harshi,
    Welcome to virtual rambling, it would have been fun to explore your blog as well, please do leave the link .
    yeah hoping to continue the search of “Aim”
    -Rambler

  10. You are trapped in the desert of Rajasthan. The sun is at its scorching best. You have been walking all along but find no way out of the desert. You feel that everything is going to end. At that point, you find a road and a shop selling chilled orange juice. Imagine the pleasure youll feel inside. You’d thank God a thousand times. Compare this with the orange juice you have when you visit a restaurant during lunch.

    Are Bhai, mere baat suno – Shaadi karlo and your job would be so much better,exiting,challanging etc. and you would see everything else in this world in a much better perspective. You draw a bigger line next to an already big line to make the former big line look smaller. Simple.

    Destination Infinity.

    Destination Infinity
    Shadi aur challenge kabhi nahi 😉
    -Rambler

  11. Pingback: The J talk « Virtual Ramblings

  12. Perhaps this question has been answered since the posts are over a year old, but maybe I can still add something. The question of, “what’s next,” is a very old one and I’ve wrestled with it too.

    But what if “what’s next” isn’t the best question? By that I mean when one asks what is next, they’re asking for something in the external world to make the next move for them. Joseph Campbell once said, “It’s more appropriate to ask, what is the world asking of me.” Which puts the responsibility on the individual to ‘respond’ to life rather than asking, what has life got in store for me.

    Essentially, Campbell was saying you can’t even ask the question but the question’s very nature makes it unanswerable. Instead, one asks what is life asking of me. Then take some time to allow that question to sink in, trust that our internal awareness will take us in the right direction. However there’s one caveat, most of us are continually taught not to listen to the internal compass. The direction is there, it’s just been covered up with ‘shoulds.’

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