I just have a feel that somewhere as we continue to live, we become caricatures of our own thoughts, somethings I totally believed in have been thrown out of the mind over the years, even in the short time where I have been collecting my weekly thoughts over here in my randomness posts, I seem to be contradicting so many of my own thoughts, why is it this way?.
Contradictions are still fine, I can still stand contradictions, what I am worried about are things we stick on to just for the sake of sticking on. I mean, just because we felt strongly for something some time, we tend to continue blindly to support the same view point, even though our actions are totally in the opposite direction. It looks so stupid when we say something, just because we have been saying that from long time, and then the very next moment do something which is against what you just said, thats when you look foolish. How many times have you felt, that “Hey!, common, wait, I shouldn’t do this, I am against this”.. many times isn’t it?.
When I read my own post “Extremes” this week, only think that I could think of was how much I myself am guilty of faking, when I am sad or low, or even when I am kind of disappointed, or even when I am feeling a particular emotion, I generally don’t like to give it out, and as I always claim, I have the mask put on. However, There is one emotion which is very difficult for me to hide, or may be its just lately, I have become too bad at masking this emotion, the emotion being happy. Recently I had a nice conversation with my manager at work, and there was something he said which made me very happy, I wanted to control and not show my happiness, but I could not stop grinning ear to ear. I should learn better control of my emotions :). He for once could easily make out that I am happy. Not good….
I had a contrasting work week, as I said before I did have a very happy day and immediately had a honest conversation with a good friend of mine. A senior, friend, and someone I closely interact with work wise and otherwise. He did point out the small mistakes I do at work, and where he thought I could improve a lot. I don’t think I can call it criticism, its his way of helping me out. I did think over it for couple of days.. I think I have some things planned out to work on those areas. Apart from work too, I did get some criticism from a friend of mine from the virtual world. I feel probably its easier for others to spot where we are going wrong, or where we can improve, it feels good to have such people around.
Somehow this week, I missed few people around. I wanted someone for a round of coffee in the weekend, a dinner on Friday night, and a long chat on Sunday morning.. somethings I have been missing over last couple of weeks. In fact I saw an advertisement about high discount sale at PUMA, and wanted to go there, I was feeling bored to go alone, so I pulled my dad along :)..It had been long time since he came along with me to buy something, it feels good to get back to older ways. Still, as I said before, I think I missed some of my friends on almost every day of this week. One such weeks. Guys out there get those telepathic signals, call me up, send me an email, do something.
Foodie is back with a bang this week, It all began with a party on Thursday night with a north karnataka special dinner at a local restaurant.. Friday afternoon was a lunch out at Samarkhand, not a new place, but one I had not been somehow for this long. Even though the prices were over the top, the food was excellent, and I liked almost all of it. Friday night was a home cooked palak paneer and nice pulkhas, Saturday evening suddenly I felt the urge to eat a good dosa, so there I went to have davangere benne masala dosa near gandhi bazaar, Sunday was a good home cooked peas palav from mom. Foodie weekends rock.
I recently started writing fiction, something I wanted to do from a long time. I could not get myself to write fiction, somehow I seem to be trying from last month or so. One thing I want to try writing about romance. I have never written anything romantic, there was a prompt last week to try sonnet, I wanted to do that, but again I went blank, I had no clues.
I would like to try something of this genre soon. Is it true that we write about only what we experience?, I somehow never feel about a romantic subject. I want to, but have not been able to so far.
I am growing old, 26 and old, no way, you might say. Well my beard seems to disagree. Spotted on Sunday couple of strands of white hair on the chin. Now isn’t that old?