On the track.

Standard

She began her walk on the railway track, with her eyes lost in the skies, and with an expression on her face which only she could decipher. Not that she did not know where she was going to. She did know that, but she had no clue about her destination.

It was not new to her, the track she had been on, was not always smooth, there were problems before, she did travel many a path where she just knew what was her immediate stop, and she did not care about her destination. She always had her confidence by her side, she knew that even if she reaches a dead end, she was sure she would carve out a path and a walk towards the unknown new destination,

She thought about her times with hash and coke, the pleasure she seemed to desire, the days where she had felt bliss, a feeling of being one with her destiny. She had enjoyed every minute of it, and she had no regrets, but she did walk out of it, she did say no the painful pleasure, it was just her confidence and will.

She remembered those days, where she missed sun for weeks together,those days she had almost forgotten what a sober body of her felt like, the highs she reached with those bottomless drinks  was something which she could not get back even if she spends thousands of dollars. Was she sad then? she wondered.. nope she was not, she had no place for sorrow, she never had place for it.

She relived those days on the streets, where she let the people abuse her body beyond antibody’s imagination. Things she had done for people for something as useless as money, useless because she had never cared for it. She just lived to “live”, to experience. Still she had no regrets, she had no worries.

Is it the age?, is it the subconscious fear of losing the unknown which had made her lose confidence.. she did not know the answer. She never thought about her loneliness, she did not have to, she knew people would want her. Couple of gray hair she had, or the sag she noticed down her chest, or even the lesser number of turning heads as she walked, was that bothering her so much?, so much as to change what she looked for?.

Was it just the time?, one day she had to come terms with it, and had that time come?, Again she had no answer, She saw the sun raise at the same time, and the winter set in on the same month, and a decade was still 10 years long. So what was that she was thinking about, what did happen?

Advertisements

7 responses »

  1. hmmm..hounting yet beautifuly crafted story. ur writting has reflected the confusions n emotions of her very well. hmm.. in life sometime we dont find any answers to our questions but if u search deep we will find them lying there but it’s a tough job. as it is said saying is easy than doing. but kudos to the protagonist’s courage and confidence though in the end she thinks that she is loosing it.

    a very well written fiction.

    Preeti,
    Well I don’t know if she was courageous, may be she was confused.
    -Rambler

  2. i am thrilled to see you stretching your wings with fiction… this is not a story i thought i would ever read here… but then again,, variety is the spice of life….

    Paisley,
    Just a passing thought I had on that day
    -Rambler

    .

  3. A wonderful description of a life that was so carelessly tossed about.Keep it going!

    P.S. Beyond “antibody’s” imagination? Did you mean “anybody’s” ? 🙂

    Sorry for that but being from the medical field,that word really caught my eye!

    oh Sameera, thanks for pointing it out, it was anybody’s imagination 🙂
    -Rambler

  4. Very interesting and thought provoking. Why do we do what we do. As long as she has no regrets

    Marja,
    She has reached a stage where she does not know what regret feels like.
    -Rambler

  5. ‘Antibody’ 🙂 I guess Sameera’s guess must be right..
    I liked the concept, why dont you try and expand in a way where you can give some background? That will add some meat!

    Rusty,
    Yeah Sameera was right, Will try next time.. somehow I cant seem to like writing a story, I seem to like writing the experience and the feeling thats all
    -Rambler

  6. well written. 🙂 agree with rsty. adding a bit of background would give more strenghth.

    Priya, Same answer as rusty, may be next time, somehow I seem to stop at experiences.
    -Rambler

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s