Questions unasked…


She stood in her normal waiting spot, just outside the exit to her workplace. She had been working in that call center for about an year now, and she had met him for the first time in the same company. He was a fellow employee, a little senior though in terms of experience. She tried to call him on his cell phone, but it seemed to be switched off. She was furious at him for being so careless. This had almost become their routine, meeting in between shifts, she would be on her way home and he on his way into office. The adverse working hours meant that this was the only time they got in the day to see each other. The cab driver starting honking to try to grab her attention, she had to go now, could not wait more. so she rushed into the cab with a sad face.

She started sending him SMS one after another, hoping that he will respond to one of them, but no luck, she was slightly worried now, he had never been so bad in responding, bad thoughts began to cross her mind, the crime scene in city had become worse, and technology people had become very easy targets. Was he in any kind of danger, she would have paid a million dollars to know the answer to this question. People around her in the cab could sense there was something wrong with her, they began to ask her if everything was OK. She replied in the affirmative, but her face told a different story. She reluctantly reached home, and was forced to sleep by her mother knowing very well she had to be at work in the evening for her night shift.

She rushed with a sense of urgency that evening, hoping she would at least catch him on his way home, unfortunately he was not to be seen at that time too, now she had a sense of something going wrong. She controlled herself as she went in to go and catch some of his friends around, it looked like all of them had left already, only person whom she could find was his shift manager, he seemed to be very busy, still she could not hold it any longer, she went and asked the manager. One could not hear what he was telling but could see tears flow down her cheeks, she stood there as the manager spoke, it was not that much of a conversation as she had hardly any thing to speak, so did the manager, he just spoke a line and turned his back towards her. It was just her standing her place, with tears in her eyes.

Two days ago was his last working day at the office, he had moved on into a better paying job elsewhere, for a second she could not believe he had left without telling her, she had never expected him to do this to her. Still she had some hope, she still gave benefit of doubt to him, She thought something terrible must have come up, why would he otherwise do this to her. She was sure he would contact her soon.

The wait turned from days to weeks and weeks to months, he never called back.

She was strong, and yes she was hurt, but over time she had moved on, she had not given up on men, after him she met couple of really good guys, and she continued to wait for them after their shifts, and the usual romance followed, something or the other used to prop up in the relation and break ups used to follow, that never stopped her, she continued to be stronger and moved on to better things and newer people. She still had one question though “why”, why did he do this to her, what made him do this.

She finally said yes to her parents, they had been trying to make her agree for the marriage, and she finally agreed, and then began the search for the prospective groom. Everyday she had to go through the long list of photos and profiles her parents used to get her, and days passed. One day, they had a profile that interested her, just a look at the photo and all her memories were back. It was of “him”. She immediately had an agitated mind, on one hand she was furious, for having to deal with him again, on the other hand this had opened up a channel of communication to him, all she wanted to know was “why”

She decided to meet up with him, one last time, just talk to him once and ask him “why?”. She asked her parents to set up a meeting time, and it was agreed that they would meet up at his residence the coming Sunday. She went all prepared, with a mind ready to blast him, and a question to ask before that.

The day arrived and so did she with mixed feelings at his house. He had not changed much, he almost looked like the one she had bid bye on the night before he went absconding. After the initial introduction, they left the couple alone to speak. She had been waiting for this moment so long.

What followed was something she could never imagine, he was the same old person, the same sweet guy whom she had fallen for, the same lovely smile, the same sweet talk, and from the looks of it, she was falling for him again. She wanted this for just one more day, she thought she would enjoy the moment and may be ask him the question the next day. So they decided to meet up again the next day, this time at their old favorite coffee shop.

He was there sharp at 7 as promised, with a box of chocolates, and ideas and views which she still loved. They spoke for hours together, in the sweet time she was having, she totally forgot about her question, they did set up the next date though. This continued for about a month, every time she wanted to bring up the topic, she did not want to miss the wonderful time she was having.

Their parents had booked the wedding hall now, and If she ever could ask her question it was now. But she did not. She decided, what she was having was something great, she did not want to spoil something as good as this, they did marry in the same month, and they did live a life she had always dreamt off. One question she took to her grave was “Why”.

Was she correct in not asking him?, Can one blame her for opting for the pleasure she was having over the pain she had had?, More importantly was he let off easily?, or was his guilt his biggest punishment? Some questions, better left unasked?


10 responses »

  1. i would have wanted to know “why?” it appears she gave up a bit of herself for the sake of his love….an explanation that was owed her for a cruel, emotional act done on his part.

    Rebecca, actually did she give up? may be he had a reason, or may be she did not need one when compared to the happiness she was getting with him

  2. ah good story but the why is hunting me too. I couln’t have lived without it. he might make another runner

    Marja, The thing about this in my mind was, what we are, we tend to be too logical many a times, sometimes its good to do things what makes us happy, and not worry about things which may be real but might spoil something which can be beautiful.
    So she chose her happiness.. was she wrong?

  3. Ahhh… this one was good… you are doing great rambler!!
    I pity the character ‘she’ though…. How could she even think of not asking him even once? That miffs me more than him leaving without any reason!

    Rusty… Just try to think the other angle, someone has had a habit of enjoying great with him, given the same taste again wouldn’t one get tempted?, and is it really wrong to give into the the temptation.. may be she knew it might spoil something great she is having right now

  4. That was so wonderfully written!You becoming a pro at story-telling I say 🙂

    Throughout her life just how could she not have asked him why?Well,as you said,sometimes it is better to leave some questions unasked.Also,as the saying goes,”Subah ka bhula agar shaam ko ghar aaye…

    Sameera, I am not really sure if he ever forgave him, or atleast for leaving her in the middle like that, but then yes some questions better left unasked 🙂

  5. hmmm..a very interesting story n thoughtful too. even i wnt to know the “why?” . but i dont think she has done anything wrong.. temptation for happiness is natural. it’s her way of enjoying the happiness. n abt the guy..i think he should hv given d answer on his own. was he guilty by any chance?
    but if i wr in her place i wud hv asked for sure.

    but yes..thr are some question that are better left unasked.

    kp penning.

    tk cr 🙂

    Preeti, One gets a feeling that he might be guilty, but I did not really want to think about that, he might have had his reasons, like they say, if you try to find you will always find a reason, I was more thinking towards how we sometimes really want only one thing happiness.

  6. thats stupid.. i would understood if she hhad asked “why” and he had given sme stupid answer.. and then she accepting them w/o questioning…
    thats when we say ok she is crazy nuts in lov or whatever..
    but this is plain stupid!
    “he” got out of it plain and simple! he actually took all his prev experience with her.. to not let her ask.. he was playing.. aint it obvious…
    pathetic both of them!
    doesn’t it prick you.. this qs all the time?
    can u live with the inconvenience? i dnt think i can.

    One thing I have learnt over time is that people will surprise you, things that sounds obvious to you, may not be so obvious to others, I know its hard to imagine people not asking why?. But sometimes when you are so thirsty, and you get to a source which has once open a time given you great satisfaction, you might reconsider what you want. More importantly I would love to see people do things which make them happy.
    This was not about, why he was let off so easily. More importantly the levels we go to give our happiness, might surprise many.

  7. i mean to say [as i m sure , what i said in the comment above is not verr clear],
    *doesn’t it prick you.. this qs all the time?
    the question “why”, doesn’t it always prick you at the back of your head?
    can u live with the inconvenience? i dnt think i can.

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