Monthly Archives: March 2008

Mutate.

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Reading, watching TV, or just lazing around,
Shopping, Cooking, or just pampering self,
Dinners, Evenings, or just plain nights,

Every waking moment, she lived memories,
Sweet memories,
of “him”.

Cigarette burns on her limbs,
Deep cuts on her thighs,
For every memory,
She left herself a souvenir.

A desperate effort
Effort to turn memories
“Torrid”

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It took a long time for me to think of something on the topic “Torrid”, writer’s island is becoming very challenging.. or may be I am turning dull day by day 

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Lets talk prenuptials today….

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The other day I was going through my daily routine of reading the newspaper, and this article, a pure example of the yellow journalism we are subjected to, caught my eye. This was yet another celebrity gossip about a relationship going kaput, what was interesting though was the reason cited. Apparently the demand for prenuptial agreement did not go down well with the male and his family. Now the word “prenuptial” is almost unheard of when it comes to normal middle class families like us, this part of the new age marriage made me think a little.

 

Some time back I was interested in a speculation made by a person in media, he thought soon people will begin to demand medical examination results and HIV test results before agreeing for the marriage, which I kind of felt looked very practical, though totally against my belief of blind trust in relationship. Prenuptial agreements too appear to me as a step in a negative direction when it comes to marriage, when a couple begin their journey through the sanctity of marriage, should they really think about how they should handle a possible divorce?, at the beginning of such an important phase in life should one really worry about the money matters?. Or does it really indicate the lack of confidence in both the parties who are entering into the relationships.

 

As I said previously on one of my posts, most of us men are not prepared in the true sense when it comes to marriage, I think most of us learn the hard way as when we are required to learn, or just act on upon a adamant belief that we cannot do anything wrong, the same goes with the new age brides as well, I feel we think a lot less before committing to some things, and marriage or other relationships too have become a part of our actions. I do not think this is wrong, because that’s a phase of evolution our society is going through. So now when we are asked to do some risk mitigation, why does it hurt?. We are so used to this term when it comes to corporate world, every possible risk has mitigation plan, so in a country where number of arranged marriages are still high, isn’t failure in a relationship a huge risk and a high probable one, well may not be, but what’s wrong in having a mitigation plan, what’s wrong if a person or both in some cases want to decide well upfront how they are going to handle assets in case of a failed marriage.

 

Prenuptial agreements are not completely unheard off in Hindu religion, may be it was never about the money matters, but most of the verses that are sung as a part a marriage ceremony are nothing but prenuptial agreements, I agree its more in the form of the oath we take, but still it is an agreement, it’s a promise made by the groom to the bride and to the entire society. “Dharma cha, artha cha, kama cha, nathi charami”, this is the agreement/oath the groom takes in a hindu marriage which means

 

I , to perform the Purushartha of the human life in this form am taking or accepting he as my wife. She is already oered to the cosmic mind and cosmic will and to the eternal truth. (meaning this marriage is only to the continuation of the evolution.) I will not tress pass her in the performance of Dharma – all such acts that aid the evolution, Artha-all acts that allows to create utilities of life,(money earning is one such act that creates the utilities of the life, and the artha is not merely money or paper currency) and Kama- all such desires that come across in the life of us.( the Kama in the purview of the Sages is not only sex but the whole range of the desires.)

[You can read the rest of the explanation here]

So isn’t this an agreement we commit upon?, may be in ages where the social commitment was of atmost importance this was more than enough, but as per todays society may be we need some legal agreements to just bring in the sense of commitment what is expected in marriage.

 

This is the point which made me think not so great about these agreements, I mean if the idea was to make sure people are more committed, and have a little sense of fear making them work hard to make the relationship work, probably I would have accepted the new age agreements with whole heart, but it appears as if these agreements are more to ensure none of the parties involved are in total loss in case it breaks, I feel that should not be the attitude when one approaches a marriage.

 

May be money does this to people, when lot of it is involved, the attachment to money is much more than to the loved one, and one fears that they might loose both at one go, and hence they want to safeguard at least one of the two, as they cannot [or may not ] be sure if they can permanently hold on to the other person, they take the easier route of safeguarding the one thing which they easily can, that’s money.

 

I am still not distinctively opinionated in this regard, I am being torn between the practical sense the subject makes to me, and also the negative vibes this brings into marriage. The absolute sense the risk mitigation brought by it to the table and the complete opposition it does to my beliefs of total trust in a relation.

 

Am I the only one who feels confused?, what do you guys think?, prenuptial agreements a possibility in Indian marriages soon?

Donate please!

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Before you guys run away, let me clarify that I am not asking for donation to keep my website up, and am sure I would not get a single rupee from anybody, not even from myself :).

You guys must have seen that I do not have a blogroll up on my blog, not that I do not read blogs regularly, I definitely do, and many of you guys who get stalked by me would have known this easily. Just the sheer number of links, makes it almost impossible to put up the links over here. But now I have turned greedy, I want to read more, and explore more kind of bloggers.

So guys please donate, donate links. Any blog you read regularly/occasionally and you think I would enjoy reading, please do let me know about the blogs. You can leave the links in the comments section. I have found wonderful bloggers all around the world with great perspectives and attitudes, providing us with insights into so many things in life. I want to read more, and understand more. So guys please help me.

We are great

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I am not a big fan of sci-fi movies, things that fascinate me when it comes to sci-fi are the futuristic and imaginative scenes, how many times have we seen some really intelligent species talking to each other in an alien language, or some really advanced equipments able to communicate with each other in a way which humans can’t understand. If you think that this is stupid, and can never happen, you got to reconsider your stand, it seems like Bangalore is full of such highly evolved man made machines. Take a small walk on the roads, or even take your bike/car out for a short spin around the city, and keep your ears open. The bikes of today seem to speak to each other in a strange sound which goes something like beeeeeeeeeeep. If you think I am kidding, just think it over, the bike approaching a junction seem to sense another one far off on the other side, it seems to call out for its long last brotheren with a small beep, as and when the distance decreases and they are pretty sure its of the same species, it seem to show a deeper emotion by making the sound little shriller and a lot more longer. They seem to acknowledge each other as they pass by, and finally wish a sweet goodbye with the very short lasting beep. The number of such advanced species seem to multiply over night, and they seem to now communicate in groups.

The species I am talking about seem to be evolving over time too, I guess Darwin’s theory of evolution seem to apply to non living things as well, or may be they are not non-living as we thought they were. Apparently over years, tails became useless to humans, so they reduced in size and finally vanished. Its also learnt that brain was a lot smaller in size years back, and slowly it grew in size and content. I seem to notice this huge change in these advanced species which seem to be evolving day by day. Most of the species have gotten rid of the almost useless rear view mirrors. The horns which were so useless once upon a time seems to have risen in usage and so in size too. It once used to a small pully thing on the dashboard, became more prominent and shifted to the steering wheel, it sat there as a small button, until recently where whole of the steering seems to have developed into a big horn surface. Now isn’t this a sign of a highly advanced being?. If you don’t agree, check the horns of the old Tata Sumo, the older Maruti Omni, and the latest cars.

Socially too human being seems to be progressing with the help of these species. We Indians for long have been considered poor leaders, people who are really bad front runners, who seem to struggle to take the lead. Look at the people armed with these species, even red signals do not seem to stop people now. Who cares what color the lights show, we need to be the front runners, so what if the person at the front is a little slow, and is keen to see the green before he starts, why to wait for him to move when we can blow his ears off with the never ending weapon our vehicle possesses. All it needs is a shrill noise for us to come to the front, so lets show our fellow people how good we have become in our leadership qualities.

We Indians are not all that jealous you see, we always celebrate and acknowledge good deeds done by others our fellow Indians. Just the other day, me along with couple of other good people slowed down near the hospital, we wanted to make sure some of our friends inside the hospital get some peace and freedom from the noise our poorly maintained vehicles made. Some of our siblings who were coming behind us, were very sensitive to this kind act of us, they wanted show us how much they liked what we did, and they did acknowledge us, they did herald the good deed by blowing their horns as loud as it could go, I was so happy to here the appreciation, I almost wanted to remove the device on my bike and present it back to them.

I look at you

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I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

I have lived this feeling before.

And, I have tried to stop myself before,

It’s the same sweet confusion,

Every time I see you.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

I avoid looking in the eye,

I talk to a friend nearby,

It’s the same act I put on,

Every time I pass by you.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

I’m not so innocent after all,

Desperate to steal a peek or two,

Sharp that you are,

Every time catching me amidst my silly act.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

You’re not so innocent either,

Those lovely eyes speaking the “silence”,

And that shy chuckle of yours,

Almost, making me, forget my next step.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

Couple of seconds and hush you are gone

And me too, back into my lifeless world,

But with a hope for the same strange feeling,

For the times in future, when I get to walk past you.

 

 

I continue to look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

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The topic over at writer’s island is “Deja Vu”, Here is a semi fiction which I thought about the topic.

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Walking the talk

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Topic of yesterday’s post lunch walk, was recession. Looks like all we can think of at work these days is how recession is going to affect us and India in general.

Bangalore is known as the IT capital of India, when we were in school there was nothing like IT industry, but this IT industry kind of started only in early 90’s and picked up by mid 90’s and was at peak in late 90’s. People in my parent’s generation, were very keen on getting into a government job, a 9 to 5 permanent source of income, then came the intermediate generation of 80’s where people really had no clue what to do, with no government jobs to take and not much happening in private sector. That followed with IT, drawing people from far parts of India to Bangalore. One thing this did was, the land values sky rocketed, the service industry which was never heard before, like office cleaners, consultants, HR firms providing profiles for jobs, caterers for ever increasing population, the hotel industry ranging from the road side vendors to 5/7 star restaurants, every one started making money. Banking sector also saw a boom, from a conservative India, where people thought saving is the ultimate aim, it drifted away and people began to live on credit, taking huge home loans, vehicle and personal loans, hence banking sector too made a lot of money, employing more people with a high pay packet.

Then came in the BPO, the call center brought in even more moolah, with the youth being pulled into the tech support arena. It became a good source of income to non engineers with a good degree, providing decent to very good pay packets. More money for the youth, meant more money being spent for recreation, movies, restaurants, pubs, coffee places, you name it people started spending more money. Flow of money revolutionized the market, the textile industry, lifestyle stores, even the retail grocery market started making huge profits, and started employing even more people, making the money flow even better.

The economy now seems to be more based on the cash flow, I mean no one seems to be saving too much, people seem to be investing more and more, and spending more and more. So the Indian economy is more or less changing fast into the US economy model. But what would really happen if the incoming money stops, what if IT does really slow down, and many people get back to conservative money saving mode? How badly will the economy be affected. Can the economy still survive with the money that has already flown in?. Can it continue to flow around keeping all of us in a good state?

I was of the opinion that no, we are going to see huge troubles if the IT generated income stops. I feel the chain will get broken and hence all other sectors might get affected. The business might slow down, and hence other businesses might get affected too, the real estate values might come down, and since many people already have huge loans, the banking sector is also going to see losses, service industry is going to get affected, and almost every one is going to see a dip.

My friend felt no, its not going to affect that much, according to him, the IT industry is still a very small part of Indian economy, and we have enough businesses to keep up the economy. Cities like Bangalore and Noida might get affected, because of the high technology population, but then rest of India is going to survive.

I do not think so, look at travel industry, I mean domestic airlines might see a dip, even the middle men in many areas might have to find a different job.

All this leaves me with just one question, what next, whats going to be the next big industry which is going to take the place of the IT world. Ideas anyone?