Transition

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Transition from boys/girls to men and women is very tough and scary. Traditionally we Indians are a spoilt lot I guess, our parents shield us from responsibilities for a long time, and everything for us is taken care of, they provide for our education, they take care of our stay and food, they even take care of our monthly allowances, making the “transition”, even more difficult.

For an earning professional like me, after 5 years of work at a decent multinational, with a decent enough salary, still living with parents, its just the money inflow that has changed and nothing else. Financial responsibilities and commitments are things which I have been totally shielded from. My parents never let me worry about money, even when I started earning, only thing I did was to stop asking for allowance, and I am sure my parents wouldn’t have said no If I asked for some.
Why is it that we do not grow up?, why is it we do not take up more responsibilities and liabilities, isn’t 26 too late to start?.

Yes it’s the time for me, I have asked my dad who is about to retire in couple of months to stop spending money on the house and its time for me to take over, even though it did not go well with him and I am yet to convince him fully that he needs to no longer worry about the house. For both of us I guess its change in the mindset, for him it would be tough when he is no longer providing the money for a house, let me tell you no man wants to be the one who is not contributing the finances. When a son/daughter asks money from their parents its so easy, the other way round is very difficult.

Its not just this, but I was looking for a bigger financial commitments, and something was almost finalized, but in the last moment I chickened out, looking at the market and the possible recession, I felt its too big a financial risk to take right now. Again the decision was too hard, for the first time I felt I was not old enough to be making these decision, I wanted a guide to stand by me and give me advice, and for the first time I realized I am on my own, nobody is going to shield me, nor give me an advice which I can blindly follow, its just me, and my decision. Well I did make a decision, and I might repent about it, or may be at the end of the day be happy that I chose to refrain from the commitment for a little longer.

Why do we take so long to grow up?, is it that we have been shielded for so long that we are taking more time to kind of break out of it?.

India has youngest income tax payer in the world, The average age of an Indian CEO has drastically come down, youngsters are beginning to earn more as they study [even though its just extra pocket money in most cases], the average age of sexually active people has come down below 15, and government is planning to reduce the legal age for a male to marry from 21 to 18. So It does appear that Indians are growing up fast. May be we belonged to an older generation who refuse to grow up quickly.

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9 responses »

  1. You are lucky enough that even now you have cucooned by your parents. At the young age of 22 ; I was on my own running a fullfledged house. Staying away from your parents makes life a totally different faceted. You fall, you learn , you get up and you get ready to face another disaster. Sometimes I crave badly for this shield which I may not get back ever. Now there is another generation lining up whom you need to provide that comforting shield 🙂 That’s life I guess !!

    BlueMist, I agree I am lucky when it comes to this. oh really a new generation lined up?? congrats 🙂
    -Rambler

  2. I think it’s just ingrained in parents that THEY are responsible for their kids and it’s very very difficult for them to reverse that and allow their children to take care of them. For some, making that transition is very easy-as that’s how they were brought up so it’s only natural to send their own children out into the world at an early age-and some were sheltered for a very long time them selves…therefore it feels unnatural for their children to grow up and leave the family nest.

    Culturally for you, perhaps it’s more normal and acceptable for children to grow up late-but I think that in every culture you will always find families who tend to sway dramatically in either direction. They’re always be this family who’s kids pretty much became independent even before the legal adult age-and then you will find a family who’s children NEVER left the nest and instead choose to live with their parents until marriage or until their parents passed away.

    oh yes you are right, we are gonna find both the extremes.
    -Rambler

  3. i cannot even imagine such an arrangement… we go about things a lot differently here,, although the falling value of the dollar and the cost of basic living expenses are causing more young adults to live with the parents longer than we used to when i was young… shoot,, i have worked and made my own decisions since i was 15… the thought of ever having to live n someone else’s house does not even appeal to me… i never even thought about this as an existing delema till you brought it up here.

    Paisley, I think its changing even in the US too, I do see a lot of parents sponsoring the college degree for the kids
    -Rambler

    .

  4. well.. i guess its how our parents tend to look at things. I remember doing my first job as a15 year old. It was gruelling, tough and exhausting but i loved it!! and well.. i left home at 17… very much on my own… the only dependency i ahd till grads was cash.. else i was on my own, my decision, my life….

    Sam, welcome to virtual ramblings..Not many do this Sam. many of us in India seem to be well guarded by parents
    -Rambler

  5. Good for you, Rambler for wanting to take over looking after your family home. I guess we grow up when we’re ready to – some never grow up at all – and that, I depends on the kind of parenting they had. My father always insisted that I aim to be financially independent and responsible from a young age, even though he always looked after me. It was his way of teaching me financial responsibility and maturity and although I often considered it unfair when I was young, I now thank him for it.

    My father too stressed on finanical independance, but It was mainly to take care of my expenses, never that of the family.
    -Rambler

  6. I guess it depends on the family too.
    I took over the reins of my family from the time I turned 17. 😛
    Granted then I wasn’t contributing monetarily, but I took over the house maintenance and expenses.
    Now I do the entire running of the show.
    Good to know you are a grown up now 😀

    hehhe, I liked the way your comment ended, but somehow some of us never grow up 😛
    -Rambler

  7. hey i was nt talking in terms of my kids. 😉 it was from the perspective of my niece and newphews. 😀

    Thanks for the wishes any ways ..in even if you have sent them too early …lol 😀

    BlueMist.. guess in this case, better early then never ;).. I meant the wishes 😀
    -Rambler

  8. yes our generation has definitely learnt to ‘grow up’ fast…
    i dunno whether that is good or bad though…
    good when it comes to taking up responsibilities and accepting practicality…
    bad in the sense we are losing out on the innocence ,naivity and freespiritness of childhood much too soon….:(

    pri.. I don’t know if its good or bad.. but looks like I am not in “our” generation 😀
    -Rambler

  9. yes, very true…only the ones without the shield learn faster to get responsible i guess..

    shilps..we do have to learn one day or the other right
    -Rambler

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