Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Moi, Personal, Realité

Transition

Transition from boys/girls to men and women is very tough and scary. Traditionally we Indians are a spoilt lot I guess, our parents shield us from responsibilities for a long time, and everything for us is taken care of, they provide for our education, they take care of our stay and food, they even take care of our monthly allowances, making the “transition”, even more difficult.

For an earning professional like me, after 5 years of work at a decent multinational, with a decent enough salary, still living with parents, its just the money inflow that has changed and nothing else. Financial responsibilities and commitments are things which I have been totally shielded from. My parents never let me worry about money, even when I started earning, only thing I did was to stop asking for allowance, and I am sure my parents wouldn’t have said no If I asked for some.
Why is it that we do not grow up?, why is it we do not take up more responsibilities and liabilities, isn’t 26 too late to start?.

Yes it’s the time for me, I have asked my dad who is about to retire in couple of months to stop spending money on the house and its time for me to take over, even though it did not go well with him and I am yet to convince him fully that he needs to no longer worry about the house. For both of us I guess its change in the mindset, for him it would be tough when he is no longer providing the money for a house, let me tell you no man wants to be the one who is not contributing the finances. When a son/daughter asks money from their parents its so easy, the other way round is very difficult.

Its not just this, but I was looking for a bigger financial commitments, and something was almost finalized, but in the last moment I chickened out, looking at the market and the possible recession, I felt its too big a financial risk to take right now. Again the decision was too hard, for the first time I felt I was not old enough to be making these decision, I wanted a guide to stand by me and give me advice, and for the first time I realized I am on my own, nobody is going to shield me, nor give me an advice which I can blindly follow, its just me, and my decision. Well I did make a decision, and I might repent about it, or may be at the end of the day be happy that I chose to refrain from the commitment for a little longer.

Why do we take so long to grow up?, is it that we have been shielded for so long that we are taking more time to kind of break out of it?.

India has youngest income tax payer in the world, The average age of an Indian CEO has drastically come down, youngsters are beginning to earn more as they study [even though its just extra pocket money in most cases], the average age of sexually active people has come down below 15, and government is planning to reduce the legal age for a male to marry from 21 to 18. So It does appear that Indians are growing up fast. May be we belonged to an older generation who refuse to grow up quickly.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", pure pursuit

Hello people

Guys if you have been wondering what happened to my weekly posts, what happened to the fiction I wrote on wednesdays, my weekend random ramblings and many other such things. Unfortunately my broadband connection at home was gone for last three weeks, I did try to keep up posting a little bit from work and from cyber cafes but its not the same isn’t it.  Finally my connection is back this weekend, and I plan to get back into my normal blogging. However I may chose to be away from regulars random ramblings and fiction for some time, atleast not regular as before.

No connection meant that my other blogs have also suffered, Its almost a  month since I posted on my favorite blog pure pursuits. So here it goes guys I am back with a post at pure pursuits.

Feminism and beyond

Do let me know what you guys think on the subject.

Posted in "Fifty Five Words ", poésie, poetry, Rain

The first Rain

Looking out of the window,
On a hot summer day,
Cloudless skies,
Hot air all around.

As though it heard me,
The sky opens up,
Pouring down, onto the streets.

Joy of watching, the falling droplets,
Experience of getting wet in the first rain,
Sharing a cup of tea with the beloved.

Left me spellbound.

———————————————————————————-

Some days back I had written about why I like rain so much, today as I woke up from my afternoon nap and started to look out, suddenly it began to pour hard, what a relief it was from the hot sun, and more importantly just the feeling of the first rain left me spellbound.

The topic over at writer’s island is “Spellbound”. Here’s my attempt.

writers-island-badge1.jpg

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Moi, Thoughts, thoughts to think

Thought Trails

Don’t try to sneak through an ajar door, knock on the door and she might open it wide for you” It’s strange how my thoughts landed upon this statement. It kind of started yesterday morning at work, me and a friend were having coffee at our café and generally discussing what should we go for, should we buy a house with two bedrooms or three bedrooms. I was of the opinion that we need atleast three rooms, keeping in mind one for me, one for my parents, and one for future kids.

My friend brought up an interesting point, how parents of present generation are making their kids sleep alone from very young age, he was of the opinion that kids should sleep with their parents atleast upto 10 years. I had mixed opinion about that. However what I strongly felt was that, siblings should share a room for as long as possible, I know it would lead to a lot of fights, but I think it established a strong bond as well. I know there will be a lack of privacy for kids but I think sibling bonding is something which everyone should enjoy in their lifetime.

I totally forgot about this conversation until later part of the day where I read this Trespassing?, it was really surprising to find the same topic over there, privacy between siblings, I have seen this issue with so many kids, but still the love between the siblings is too strong to really worry about these small things.

I again forgot the topic, until today morning when I was in the shower, when it struck me how important privacy is in a relationship. I was wondering, if a wife is along in a room with the door almost closed, and husband instead of directly walking in, knocks and takes her permission to walk in, I felt she would be really happy. It feels really good to see your loved ones, who know almost everything about you, still respecting your privacy. It was just my hypothesis that, she would let him in with a wide door.

That’s when this statement struck me.

Don’t try to sneak through an ajar door, knock on the door and she might open it wide for you

Just listening to myself make this statement in my mind, I felt, more than the room, this applies to so many things isn’t it?. I mean just imagine the room can be anything, it might be her heart, her mind, her happiness, or sorrows, it sounds really good just to give her a space and let her know, you still think she has her own privacy, but you are just a knock away.

Has it ever happened to you?, have the trails of your own thoughts amazed you? Places they travel to and the twists they take, and finally where they end up in.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", cubeland, Dilemma, Questions N Answers, Thoughts, thoughts to think

Stayback? or Moveon?

I think in this world, there are two kinds of people,

One who set themselves up for challenges, work hard, conquer them, and then try to move onto better challenges.

One who set themselves up for challenges, work hard, conquer them, enjoy the results, and continue to look for challenges in what they do.

I am talking purely about professional career here.

I and my friend S might have spoken about this topic like thousand times. She more or less belonged to the former category and me the later one.

I had a tough time when I left my first company; I am really of the old school of thought where one works for a company for a lifetime, if allowed. I had to quit because I was very dissatisfied with my job. I have been with this job ever since.

People, young professionals like us, [well we are not young anymoreJ], but people who just move out of college are generally very enthusiastic about work they do. With years of hard work put into studies, they want to show their talent in things they do. When they join a company, and within few months come to terms with reality, they realize that not every aspect of the job is challenging, and not all work that happens around the technology company is the kind of research they dreamt off.

I have been there, I have lived the days where I felt any stupid person can do what I do, I have seen people around me feel the same about the standard of work that happens in technology companies here in Bangalore. Slowly we begin to learn the “job”, even though we had the basic knowledge of how to do, we were so raw. I can really see the difference in professional me, when compared to me from days of college. The work still excites me is still the same, but the work items that excite me have changed so much.

Coming back to the topic, of moving on or sticking to a company, I guess both are right, it’s just what you choose.

Somewhere when we work in a company for many years, we get into a comfort zone, we tend to do the things in a way which is fit only for that company, we get used to it, and after that many years it might get tougher to get used to the other company outside. Mental ability too, I mean you keep on working on a particular product or a project, your knowledge gets very streamlined, so chances of survival when that product dooms might be very difficult.

I kind of agree with S, when she thinks in the above manner. She always told me that many settle in their comfort zone, and never try to come out of it.

I am not defending myself here, but still my ideologies are different, when you work so hard to build your legacy in a company, learn the tricks of trade over there, when you still enjoy to do what you are doing, should you really quit because you are used to it?, or you need to get out of the comfort zone?. I know the answer is not simple.

The Rupee appreciation in front of the dollar has hit the Indian job market badly, but still there is demand for talent, if you market yourself properly, and if I get to jump out of my current job, and join another company, I am sure I can look forward to a raise of at least 30-40% raise in my annual compensation. Isn’t that a good enough reason I should change?, also company I am currently working for is not doing that great in the market, so there is always clouds of uncertainty about the future, but then every technology company is not doing well right now, the doubt will be there in any other company.

Again it all boils down to the individual, one who likes to move on, would chose to move onto various other challenges outside, look for a constant challenges outside in different companies, go test new waters, learn and move onto newer companies.

I wouldn’t say that’s bad at all. It does sound very exciting. But there are people who like to stick on, learn more, dig deep, enjoy the success, search for challenges, and build a legacy within.

Debates never end, well that’s what I like about friends and friends with different view point, and they provide so much to think about.

Posted in mèmè, Moi, Taking a break

Tag Time…

I was tagged by BlueMist who writes at Colors And Lights and priya who writes at uniquely priya to do the “tag of the decreasing order”. so here it goes.

Ten things you wish you could say to people right now ( don’t take names)

-Can you speak a little lower,cell phones were not invited to scream at.
-You are supposed to know way more than me, even if you don’t know, and I am making a point, can’t you just listen and then use your brain before deciding?
-Glad you know what to give importance to.
-I lied to you, mainly because I was too scared of taking the huge step
-You should do justice to your talent and sing more, instead of being so egoistic and greedy
-It would be fun if you guys come back for a while
-I want to listen a little more from you, not sure if I should force
-It would be fun if all of us were dumb like you, or you were good enough to understand what we have to say
-I wonder if you have some time and if it is feasible to discuss a book we both love.
-You are invited, time of your choice and place of your choice.

Nine things about yourself

-I worry way too much
-I get impressed very easily,
-I am very paritcular about time, and hate when people are late
-I think god has been very kind to me.,
-I always try to plan and finish things much before the deadline
-I like spending time alone, specially in my room with not many to talk
-I am a big coffee lover, more importantly “cafe” lover, I like to spend time there with someone to talk to
-I could not have looked or sounded more geekier when I was in college, in fact even now.
-I like to argue/discuss things with people

Eight ways to win your heart

-Food, new dishes and old favorites, anything
-Be yourself, I will definitely find something good to learn
-Watch the tone in which you speak to me.
-Please don’t lie, if trust is lost you can never get it back
-Admitting you are wrong ,when you are
-Have a good taste with books
-Dont fake affection
-Discuss movies of my kind with me 🙂

Seven things that cross your mind a lot

-Am I smelling too bad today?
-Whats gone wrong with today’s media
-Are we getting too addicted to lifestyle
-Am I crossing the line
-Did I sound too eager?
-Where are all the good sitcoms
-when and where is my next vacation coming

Six things you wish you never did

-Fight with my mom often
-Be insensitive when it comes to my parents
-Worry so much about small things
-Ignore some really good advice
-Concentrate too much on my academics
-Fear of the unknown for so long.

Five Turn offs

-Bad odour
-Liers
-Bad dressing sense
-Gaudy colors
-smokers/smoke

Four turn on’s
-Blue jeans and a white shirt/top
-Great smelling hair
-women who talks great sense.
-One who has great sense of time

Three things you want to do before you die

-Adopt a child
-Travel as much as possible
-Live

Two smileys that describe you

:)..
smile without change in the facial expression

One confession
Some times I sound stupid to myself.

Posted in poésie, poetry

Its time.

Race, Color, Religion, and Gender
You name it, and we discriminated.
My race is great, said some
Your religion is inferior, said other
Male is more capable, claimed some
Your color makes you unfit, blurted others.

The variety amongst us, a reason to enjoy,
Colors of nature, a real bundle of joy.
With cruel intentions and selfish interests,
Misusing the power, creating a rift,
Divide and they did rule,
Making fools of themselves and people too.

World saw the raising, of some real gems,
Gandhi, Mandela and the great Martin Luther King,
Trying to spread the knowledge, the idea,
The concept of equality,
The fact, that we are all humans.
They struggled, they fought, and they won,
Thousands of hearts, and thousands of souls

The job not fully done,
Acts of discriminations still around,
People still being ill treated,
People still suffering due to discrimination.
Now is not the time, for us to give up,
It is time for all of us to rise,
Rise against discrimination.

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The topic over at writer’s island is “Rising”. Here’s my attempt.

writers-island-badge1.jpg

 

 

Posted in "Body or Soul", "Theory of pursuit", Moi, Thoughts, thoughts to think

Things we do, Things we can do….

Some of my old readers might remember a two part post which I did some time back, “It happened “ and “couple of good news . It was one of those posts where some of the people were disappointed at my behavior, and some excited as to what might follow. The part 3 of that story never happened and till today I never saw that girl/woman again.

Why did I think about that incident?, you might wonder. I see a lot of campaign going on TV these days, saying stop leching. I have read numerable blogs which talk about the subject eve teasing, incidents related to molestation which seem to be finding headlines in Indian media almost every other day. People at mall’s being groped and comments of sexual nature being passed at, passers by. I totally agree that these forms of crime against women should not be tolerated; more importantly should be dealt with bigger punishments. Women today are being subjected to this kind of nonsense, and high levels of humiliation, is this making smaller crimes like looking/staring acceptable?. Firstly is looking/staring really a crime.

I have to admit, I am a little confused when it comes to the difference between looking and staring. I did what I knew best searching for it over the internet

star•ing: To look directly and fixedly, often with a wide-eyed gaze. See synonyms at gaze.

look•ing: employ one’s sight, especially in a given direction or on a given object: looking out the window; looked at the floor.

So from this, it appears as if “looking” is just having a glance where as, starting is to have a prolonged and wide eyed look. So how often men/women are guilty with this?. I mean we all look at things around us, and people of opposite sex happen to be around us, so we do spot them. So may be looking is not that much of a crime. Moving onto the staring part, after one has had a look, if he/she continues to look with deeper interests, in a fashion making the person of interest conscious, that would constitute a “stare”. Now is that bad?. I feel yes in most cases.

There have been numerous times, when I am really angry and have given wide long stares at the other person, Instead of yelling out abuses or even breaking into a verbal fight. So I do know consciously when I want to stare, how to do it. If one has really bad intentions, he/she might end up indulging in “staring” for bad reasons. However when the intentions are not consciously bad, when one is genuinely looking when it turns into a stare is a difficult line to draw. How many times have we caught ourselves staring at something or someone without even realizing? So when that happens, does that constitute a crime?. Going by the approach that, a murder committed unconsciously still constitutes a crime, this as well might end up in such a bracket. All it calls for is more self control.

So coming back to the twin incidents, was I guilty?. May be yes for looking, and definitely no for staring, not at this case atleast, mainly because if I know me, you can relate, when I say that, most of my staring happens in the “mind”, where I tend to think about things which matter to me the most in a person. Infact one of the most common problems I face in public places is when, I kind of get lost in my thoughts, my eyes drifts unknowingly to a distant object, mainly towards sky, or a distant gate in view, or the most commonly window by the side, at this moment if someone is sitting in the line of sight, I have ended up being conscious of the fact that someone might mistake that I am staring at them.

I don’t claim to be a hermit, I do look around, and very rarely continue to look at people from opposite sex, but it needs a very good mood. I mean normally I am never in good mood. When I walk around the city, and chose to walk with my head down or up towards the sky, I have imagined many a times, that girls around me might think what kind of a fool I am to do that, or whats wrong with him.

I recently came across a project called Blank noise”. . I had seen this couple of months ago, and was wondering how men can contribute to such projects, today got to read some sections in the site, mainly to understand what really bothers women, and how bad is the situation. Looking at the statistics there, the situation seems to be really bad. So we do need more of us to contribute. So made me wonder how I can contribute. What we can all do is first consciously avoid doing simplest of things, even things like starting or avoidable ‘looking’. One might be really good, but if his/her friend tries to indulge in such things, or even try to glorify it as achievement, be quick to point out how stupid they are to think that as achievement. Atleast try and discourage people around you who try to whistle or pass comments. We can do atleast this much cant we?

Posted in Fiction

The Gulmohar

Monty rushed home from school, all excited with his backpack slinging from his shoulders, his shirt half tucked in and half hanging out. He threw his bag into a corner, and quickly got out of his school shoes, and still dressed in his uniform he rushed out as his mother kept screaming at him to eat something before going out.

Naina and her husband, along with Monty had recently come into this new country. Her husband had finally got the elusive job he was looking for. They had moved from the chaotic locality of suburban Mumbai to peaceful suburbs of a major automobile hub.

Naina had been married for 10 years now, and she had adjusted to the lifestyle at her in-laws place, yes they did live together and she had loved every moment of it. This trip across seas meant that she had to now do all the work, including those which she shared with her mother in law. She was not cribbing about it though; the prospect of a new country and a richer lifestyle excited her. She found herself more in the kitchen these days packing lunch, substituting things which she could not find in the new city and making sure the taste still remained the same, Now that there was no maid, she had to clean everything herself, that meant more work at home then she had ever done, and there was Monty as well, his studies, his assignments. Monty had continued to be his usual best at his studies, she had heard good reports from his teachers, and he continued to do most of his study work without much fuzz.

Naina had begun to notice changes in Monty’s eating habits, he no longer hogged on those favorite sweets of his, and he seemed to be less interested in his favorite rasam which his granny made for him everyday. Even as a toddler Monty never finished his dinner/lunch, without the rasam specially made for him by his granny. Monty seemed to be missing that taste, or may be he was missing much more than taste. Naina ignored this thinking he does not like the substitutes she had been using in her cooking.

As Monty had left home already, Naina having not much to do, decided to take a walk around the block, she wanted to catch Monty playing with his friends. She locked the door, put on the coat and slowly started off in the direction of the playground. As she began to walk, she noticed how different the place looked, the crowded gullies from Mumbai where one could catch children playing cricket, and here she was, almost deserted roads, with no living person in sight, with cars parked neatly in front porch of every house, with total silence all around.

Naina noticed a lot of trees around, trees which seem to have impressed Monty a lot these days, All his essays at school found a mention about a tree, and how much of a friend it is for the mankind, even his art work kind of showed him around a tree. She had been really happy at young Monty’s concern for the environment. She wondered how quickly Monty was growing up and how fast his thoughts were growing.

Naina reached the playground, to be kind of shocked, there were not many kids around, and she could find some parents with their babies in those trams, and very few toddlers again with their parents. She could not spot Monty anywhere, nor anybody of his age hanging around, though a little worried, she thought he might have gone into the woods nearby with his friends. She started to walk back to her house; the playground was sort of towards the back of her house, so she preferred to go via the side walk to her back yard. As she neared the house, she found a large tree with wide branches right behind her back fence, and she could spot someone there. She came near the tree to find out it was Monty.

Monty was simply sitting there, with his hands crossed on his knees, there was a board hung to the tree, it read “The Gulmohar”, and Monty was just sitting there watching the sky. Naina had tears in her eyes, she had realized what Monty meant by tree being the man’s friend, and she had the picture in her eyes, the picture of the Gulmohar under which Monty’s herd played back in Mumbai, and she had found out why his study work had so many mentions about the tree. The Gulmohar is all Monty had from last couple of months. Tears continued to trickle down her cheeks.

Posted in "Heads or Tails", Moi, Personal

Lucky! – Heads or Tails #28

Topic over at skittles today is “7 list”.. Actually my thoughts were totally not related to the topic, I began to wonder what’s luck?. Luck to me is being at the right place at the right time, taking the right opportunities, and risking the right things. Isn’t that luck?.. Naaah, that’s too ideal a definition for luck, I don’t think that’s luck. Luck to me is being in a situation without having a clue as to what got you there, not knowing what all you can do, but somehow finding as way out and in fact getting credit for it :). I began to recollect days where I have thought, what I did to deserve this. So here goes the 7 list days when I have felt lucky

  • Luck is, going to movies with a bunch of cousins, fighting hard to get good seats, but being bullied into the taking the last of the seats, only to discover later, a beautiful girl taking the seat next to you.
  • Luck is deciding to take a shelter in an ice cream parlor when it’s raining hard outside, grabbing a cone in that high cold, trying luck at a contest being held by kwality walls and 4 months later finding out that won you a brand new PC.
  • Luck is when you realize you are really attracted to a girl, who has also had a big crush on you, but only to realize later that you were totally late.
  • Luck is when you take guys in the family out for a party for getting your first salary, and getting drunk bad enough to be not able sign the cheque and having dad who is cool enough to sign on your behalf.
  • Luck is when you wander on streets of Las Vegas, at 3AM from one casino to another, and then in middle of the night spot a friend walking past you, and calling her up to make sure its her, and then spending the rest of the night having a great laugh through the streets of Las Vegas.
  • Luck is when you lack basic courtesy and social behavior, and suddenly you find some amazing friendships fall into your laps.
  • Luck is when you go in search of a non existent comedy club, and instead find a place that’s a old time country music playing bar, liking it so much that you end up visiting the place every single weekend for the next eight months of your stay in a foreign land.