Here’s a typical Saturday evening at Rambler household in chapters.
Poor old rambler, [hmm let me correct not so old rambler], in his room trying to alternate between the TV and his laptop, and also trying to throw in couple of pages of the book he has been reading.
Trrrrrrrrr…the door bell rings
Rambler to himself.
“Oh not now, the book was getting interesting, why did they have to come now”
Rambler’s mom from the kitchen, “Rambler! Open the door”
Rambler sulking-ly walks up to the door and opens it.
Two people, whom Rambler has hardly spoken to, but can recognize from face and damn his good memory, can remember their names as well. Rambler as usual has his fake smile and let the people in.
As always, the two people start. “Oh you are home!. didn’t think you would be, its been so long since we saw you, last time we were here, you weren’t home.”
*Rambler thinking, Oh no!, dad’s not at home, this means I need to sit in the leaving room till these people leave, and not only that I need to try and strike a conversation too*
Rambler trying to be nice, “How are you people [Chhannagi idira], when did you come last time, I am generally home.”
“We had been here last <weeday>, you were not home”
Rambler Thinking *whose home on weekdays, don’t you know that there is something called work????*
Chapter 1 :Introduction
Picking up the conversation the couple would start “Oh you have grown so much, we almost could not recognize you, it must be years now. You look so much like X now.”
[You can substitute X here as follows, if couple is from my mom’s side, I would appear to them as if I am so much like my mom, or her brothers, if X is a relative of my dad’s, I am a carbon copy of either my dad, or his brothers], If I ended being like every one I am supposed to be like, I would have ended up like a family album of portraits, and all morphed together into one face.
Rambler settles slightly into the seat, when mom has to rush to kitchen to prepare coffee or tea.
Now this is the worst part of the whole scene, the couple obligated to speak to me, with not knowing what to talk about, and me trying hard not to be alone in the room. So the couple begin
Chapter 2: work [used to be education till very recently]
So Where do you work?.
Rambler, trying to be as inaudible as possible, “M*”!
Oh, You should have tried in Wipro/Infosys, with your marks and talent you would have got in for sure.
Rambler not knowing how to react, *yeah may be, may be I should jump there next time*.
Oh yeah you software guys never stick to one job, we people served a single company all our lives.
Alternate2: [slightly hep couples]
So are you still with M?
Oh really?, we thought you would have switched companies
As though it’s a crime to stay with the same company for that long, you are a software engineer, than you should behave like you are unfaithful husband and your company is you’re an year old wife, you got to stray now, this is the time
Chapter 3: Weekend
The focus shifts to their almost shocking discovery that I am home on a weekend
So, why are you home, not going out with friends?
Rambler thinking, didn’t you complain just now that you are not home on weekdays..
“Yeah, I prefer to stay at home on weekends”
Oh my son/daughter never stays home on weekends, they never take rest
Rambler thinking, when would we stop complaining ? ..oh wait am I not complaining too
So, why are you home, not going out with friends?
Rambler: “Yeah, I prefer to stay at home on weekends”
Oh you should not stay home, you should go out, make new friends, may be visit some relatives
Rambler thinking, somehow they want me to get out of my own house, phew
Couple turning to my mom, who is now in the room serving coffee.
“When are you getting rambler married, he looks old enough, shall we spread the word around”
My mom, getting the much needed support which she otherwise wouldn’t
You guys only ask him, he never listens to me, we are ready
Rambler thinking, oh not again.
What are you waiting for?, good job and all settled, you should not delay, its tough to find girls later.
Rambler trying to not sound harsh. “No another year or two maybe”
Couple becoming all excited trying to help rambler out “So tell me, if you have found a girl friend already, we will make sure your parents get you married to her only?
Nowadays people have no respect for religion, specially girls always trying to trap good boys like you..
Rambler thinking,, trap aha that would be fun, may be I should carry protection from now on, just in case.
Rambler mumbling out: No, nothing like that, no girl friends
Oh we knew that, you are a very good boy. As if they know what I am doing everyday.
I have never been ashamed of being a “good boy” until now.
Chapter 4: Good bye
We should be going back now..
So Rambler, why don’t you come home, my son/daughter have not seen you from such a long time
As If I am some celebrity who their children are waiting to see
You should make some time and come for lunch
Rambler trying to smile, and let them guess the answer as Yes/No whatever they feel like
And that’s an end of yet another weekend story at Rambler’s