I have had just two jobs till now, the first one lasted for a period of 10 months, and I have been in my second job and my present one for last 4 years. In fact I haven’t done much of voluntary weekend jobs too, except for a day of forced voluntary work at a medical camp in one remote village. So pretty much all I have to say is about my current job.
How different a software engineer’s life can be?, well that’s a misnomer which I realized later, its not the job/profession which shapes up a life, its more of what we want, that shapes it.
I am one of those guys who are born to worry. I have always found my mom worrying for things which we have no control about, or does not affect in least bit of way, but still she worries. The bad part is that I am exactly like her, no I am not blaming her for what I am, I know I am solely responsible for all the worries I get into, but then she was an example for what I did not want to become, and then I just became the same thing.
When I was in college, one thing which more or less made me forget my worries was my studies, I mean I really had no time to worry about anything else, all my worries were focused on a chapter I am studying, or yet to study, an exam coming up, or the year ahead. I really was always busy, with something or the other to worry about, so all these petty things always slipped of my mind.
Like a natural progression my job took over what studies was to me at one time, all my worries started to get focused on the problem I am solving at work, the things I need to do tomorrow, the project I need to finish this quarter, and so on. I think I am so used to work worries [in most of the cases just as insignificant as my mom’s worries] I hardly get time to think and worry about other stuff, Job has become an escape point for all other things.
I don’t want to be the other Manuel “Manuel needs to be busy. If he is not, he thinks that his life has no meaning, that he’s wasting his time, that society no longer needs him, that no one loves or wants him.”, I really don’t want to be him you know.
I hate it when I am loaded lightly at work, that means my mind is free to think about things which is of no use, things which complicate more things, things which in a way affect me or people close to me, I hate it when I have a lean period in between tasks. So are the weekends, even though I don’t prefer to work in the weekends, there have been numerous occasions where I have thought how nice it would be if I had work to bother about, instead of this stray thought which I know is going to leave me sad at the end.
I am hoping as my life changes, and I get involved into deeper things in life, I no longer would need the escapes that’s provided by my busy job.
I have missed haeds or tails two weeks in a row now, and I must apologize to Barb for this.
The topic over at skittles for heads or tails this week is “Job or jobs you have had”, even though it does not fit the prompt aptly, I thought I can just push it through.