“I like to stay busy”..Did I really say that?

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I have had just two jobs till now, the first one lasted for a period of 10 months, and I have been in my second job and my present one for last 4 years. In fact I haven’t done much of voluntary weekend jobs too, except for a day of forced voluntary work at a medical camp in one remote village. So pretty much all I have to say is about my current job.

How different a software engineer’s life can be?, well that’s a misnomer which I realized later, its not the job/profession which shapes up a life, its more of what we want, that shapes it.
I am one of those guys who are born to worry. I have always found my mom worrying for things which we have no control about, or does not affect in least bit of way, but still she worries. The bad part is that I am exactly like her, no I am not blaming her for what I am, I know I am solely responsible for all the worries I get into, but then she was an example for what I did not want to become, and then I just became the same thing.

When I was in college, one thing which more or less made me forget my worries was my studies, I mean I really had no time to worry about anything else, all my worries were focused on a chapter I am studying, or yet to study, an exam coming up, or the year ahead. I really was always busy, with something or the other to worry about, so all these petty things always slipped of my mind.

Like a natural progression my job took over what studies was to me at one time, all my worries started to get focused on the problem I am solving at work, the things I need to do tomorrow, the project I need to finish this quarter, and so on. I think I am so used to work worries [in most of the cases just as insignificant as my mom’s worries] I hardly get time to think and worry about other stuff, Job has become an escape point for all other things.

I don’t want to be the other Manuel “Manuel needs to be busy. If he is not, he thinks that his life has no meaning, that he’s wasting his time, that society no longer needs him, that no one loves or wants him.”, I really don’t want to be him you know.

I hate it when I am loaded lightly at work, that means my mind is free to think about things which is of no use, things which complicate more things, things which in a way affect me or people close to me, I hate it when I have a lean period in between tasks. So are the weekends, even though I don’t prefer to work in the weekends, there have been numerous occasions where I have thought how nice it would be if I had work to bother about, instead of this stray thought which I know is going to leave me sad at the end.

I am hoping as my life changes, and I get involved into deeper things in life, I no longer would need the escapes that’s provided by my busy job.

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I have missed haeds or tails two weeks in a row now, and I must apologize to Barb for this.
The topic over at skittles for heads or tails this week is “Job or jobs you have had”, even though it does not fit the prompt aptly, I thought I can just push it through.

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16 responses »

  1. It is good that you think differently about your ‘job’. Really you said right, what we want that shapes your life. At this stage of life, I am understanding all this. Many-a-times, I have felt same thing, which may be making me to go on a different way.

    Nice post to ponder about!

    Bless You! ~Namaste~

    Neilina…
    ” At this stage of life, I am understanding all”, thats really good..but then at every stage we understand many things, thats the fun isn’t it
    -Rambler

  2. Welcome back.. I missed reading your posts. However! Real life does interfere at times and that’s why I set this meme up so people can come and go. 🙂

    A lot of people seem to use their jobs as an escape from daily worries. Some people use other things, like blogging. (Pointing at myself.)

    Skittles…believe me you are not alone who uses blogging :)..me too 🙂
    -Rambler

  3. Hmm
    Work as a panacea to fill in voids?
    Oh, am just dithering here, but I know the compulsion behind wanting to stay busy
    Have only now begun to calm down and slow down a bit, and am finding more time to have interesting conversations with myself
    Work can be substituted with better tasks 😛

    CR..never thought about the voids, now that you say it does look like it..
    and better tasks would be???
    -Rambler

  4. i hear what you saying about staying busy and the thoughts!
    Its so much better to be busy. At least that way your day goes faster as well.

    Thanks for stopping by, and welcome back! 🙂

    Tina, I agree with you as of now, I mean its so much better to busy 🙂
    -Rambler

  5. I like this post very much. Very spontaneous and honest. And reminds me of a line from Across the Universe, “it’s not what we do that defines us, it’s who we are that defines what we do”. Have a good week ahead!

    Thanks Lynn
    -Rambler

  6. I used to love to be busy all the time. When I quit my job, I actually felt lost without the structure. I got much less accomplished, simply because I couldn’t get out of my own way! But, gotta come to terms with one’s thoughts! Coping mechanisms only get you so far! Trust me, I know! 🙂

    Great posting!! 🙂

    I can’t imagine what I would do without the job..
    -Rambler

  7. I used to be a (worryer…worrier?) person who worried a lot myself. I don’t do that (as much) anymore. Poor Hubby showed me how to break that habit after I’d been to many therapists to help me do so. Right now, there’s a little voice in the back of my head that worries plenty about my job. People have been getting shuffled around & laid off left & right. I’m @ the bottom of the seniority ladder & in a department that seems an afterthought to the rest of the company. I know it could happen well before I find a better, more secure position, but I try really, really, really, really hard not to worry about it. Other than that, I don’t worry. The work will get done when it gets done & if I have extra time, hey! I can use that to study. I wish I had some suggestions for you to make weekends more appealing, so you wouldn’t even kind of wish for work!! I know you read a lot & like movies… Have you tried video games? That’s really good for occupying my mind! 🙂

    Thanks Autmun for the suggestions, I am not so into games, but books and movies does take a lot of my weekend time
    -Rambler

  8. Welcome back. I took a bit of a break from MEME’s as well.. Nice to see you back tho, and hey, keeping busy is always good!

    Thanks Gina
    -Rambler

  9. remember when i said i wanna know what the hell i will be doing thirty years from now??? well i decided one thing i want to do is get a hold of you and see how much life has changed you in those thirty years… when i read this,, i could not help but wonder what you will think should you read this thirty years from now,, when life has been full of,,, well life,, between here and there… i so enjoyed this post.

    Paisley, I would love to have a chat with you 30 years down the line, to see what has life done to both of us 🙂
    -Rambler

  10. I think your post fitted the topic quite nicely and was interesting. I think if I had to do my life over again I would have pursued some career with computers. They have always fascinated me.

    Vic, believe me its not as exciting as it looks 🙂
    -Rambler

  11. I think you are lonely Rambler. That’s what I think.

    Thats very interesting Nita, would be a good thing for me to ponder over..
    -Rambler

  12. Work as a means of escapism… Ever thought about that? From whom are we running, and to where? Most of the times I wonder how many people can claim that they enjoy the company of themselves..

    Nrsl, I think I run from my own petty and worrisome nature
    -Rambler

  13. You have been working for five years almost,I’m already tired in just seven months! 😛

    ha ha seven months or seven years..boredom is almost the same 😀
    -Rambler

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