The age story

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I can’t believe it, its been more than five years since I finished my college and started my professional life, I just can’t believe it. I remember my initial days at my work place, I felt so naive, so inadequate, and people around me appeared so strange. I thought this phase would be short lived, but I was wrong, even after two years of work I felt like a fresher, just out of college, still insecure at work.

I guess it was not much to do with profession, because I always felt very young about myself, I never felt any change in me with the growing years. Always felt the same old me. I always used to wonder why I did not feel like a grown up. Why I always felt like a youth, why I did feel the need to take up the responsibilities like say my father did.

Every day when I look at the mirror, I hardly notice any change, the receding hairline does not make me feel old, nor the fact that I my face size has probably increased by about 25%. I hardly see any years, because I look at the mirror and hardly notice myself.

May be the fact that not much has changed in terms of responsibilities or commitments has contributed as well, I still do not financially support anyone, nor do I provide emotional support, the people in my life are almost same, and there has been hardly any change about my aspirations.

Recently Shefaly had a comment about my post on “One tree hill”, I think she was surprised that I watched teen soap, I did not realize till I saw the comment, that my interest in entertainment has not changed much either, I still love to catch the episodes of Doogie Howser, Wonder years, Friends, and One tree hill, The teenage and school kind of sitcoms makes me wanna watch them, just the way I was attracted to them years back in school.

So does it mean I haven’t grown up?..

I would have blindly said yes some days back, but not after yesterday.

I logged into the popular social networking website yesterday, and saw that a friend of mine from high school had uploaded pics of hers, rather that of her new born baby. I clicked on the pics and saw some of her family pictures, she had changed so much. I kind of saw what I was trying to see in myself, the “age” factor. One thing I clearly remember about her was that we had our birthdays on consecutive days, and she was a day older than me. Suddenly realized If she is old and I OLD too, some how me being old was rather evident through my friend rather than me.

I looked around profiles of people who have been my batch mates from various years, and with every profile and the picture albums I began to see how much people have grown both in terms of body, and in terms of where they stand in the cycle of life.

Yesterday for the first time in my life I felt Older.

Do we really see our age in eyes of our peers?.

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13 responses »

  1. Hmmm…..tough question for me! Before few months, I never ever felt like this. I didn’t feel any major change in my behavior. It is same as it was when I did my graduation, schooling or whtever! But few months back, someone just commented out on my face about my age! That time, seriously it felt very bad. I had never imagined that age factor can create such effect in my life also! And I also do see pictures of my friends, who are now ‘mom’s. But it never came in my mind to think about my age!

    I don’t think I see my age in the eyes of my peers! May be I will start to see after reading this post…. 🙂

    Neilina…yeah till a point in my life..I too did not spot my age in others..the other day it just happened..and It left me so surprised.
    -Rambler

  2. Growing old lookwise is one thing. But the maturity that comes with age , that’s more important IMO. I think the circimstances , the situations make a person grow in terms of experience and maturity. Just to give an example at your age I was running a full fledged house. A cousin of mine just little younger than me is still as juvenile as she was when she was at 25. Staying with parents , all needs taken care, being single , a good amount of money in hand , just responsible for self ( some still refuse that ) are identifications of breakfree days. Human tendency is like it refuses to get matured until you face the crisis.
    I guess in western culture the kids grow up faster unlike India where they are taken care until age of 22 or more sometimes.

    Have you grown up after all ? 🙂

    Sunshine,..I agree with you..growing old body wise and maturity wise are two different things. But both of them strike upon you suddenly..I mean you realize the change or lack of it in an instance..Hmm even though my mind agrees with you totally that you wont get matured until you face the crisis my ego wants me to disbelieve.
    -Rambler

  3. funny you should ask,, as i was just recently thinking that the reason i am so upset about being for the first time in my life noticeably older,, is that i have no one against whom to gauge myself… i know no one from my past,, and have no friends or family around me nor have i ever,, so when i see me,, and i look or feel old,, it is because i see it in me,, and think strangely,, that i am the only one that is aging…..

    Paisley..I assume by noticeable older you mean the physical appearance..you know I feel what you go through is even more shocking..and probably explains why I saw the age in others..because you have really seen them change appearances..I mean this girl was so thin and had a child like appearance from as long as I know here..and here she is all grown up with a kid of her own..makes me think she has really aged and so am i.
    -Rambler

  4. This post reminded me of my growing age too! But somehow I enjoy being older… It just means you have grown more experience wise.

    Rash..yeah I do agree sometimes growing older is better..but I do miss those days from school..where only thing on my mind was studies.
    -Rambler

  5. Heard on radio/ BBC Radio 2 this morning:

    The young, they think they have all the answers; as I grow old, I realise I am just beginning to understand the questions.. 🙂

    PS: Age is a number. Usually in other people’s mind. For my consulting clients, I am a person with wisdom, expertise and insight; for my friends, I am a goofball; for myself, I am, well, in agreement with my friends; for my father, I am always a child. 🙂

    Shefaly.. Age is a number..but here I was talking more about the body age..not just the number tagged along. So you had what you are for a set of people..so what are you to yourself?..what you were?…Do you see your body change?
    -Rambler

  6. Relax be young, enjoy life. Be only wise and responsible when you have too.
    As a parent that is most of the time. So treasure what you have and when you are able to be both mature and young than you’re fine

    Marja..I do agree about the enjoyment…this was more about the realization of changes in you and your body
    -Rambler

  7. I don’t think it means that you have not grown up. Inside all of us resides a young person, however old we become. It’s important to keep that youth inside of you as it is what keeps our mind young and fresh and open. I remember a time when I remained 18 for many many years after is was over. I have grown after that but thankfully I am just over 30! 🙂 My mental age I mean.
    However I know people who are 40 when they are 18, those holier than thou type of people and I also know 60 year olds who act like they are 5!
    If you are still 18, I think it’s wonderful Rambler.

    hahah I liked the last line of your comment 🙂
    -Rambler

  8. eeeerrrrr….. i still watch wonder years nd doggie!!! as a matter of fact i hav been torrenting for wonder years for the past month or so!!!!

    nd oh btw jus chillax nd hav fun 😀

    prasad..you know what I have all the seasons of wonder years on CD..and am proud of my collection 🙂
    -Rambler

  9. I think we look at ourselves and always see ourselves as we want to remember ourselves – young. It’s only when we see our peers and realise how much older they look, how much they’ve changed that we look at ourselves and realise, even though we may still not see it, that we too have changed. But I always say, you’re as young as you feel. So that makes me about 28 on most days and 12 on others! 😉

    Vanilla..I think we see ourselves as we remember ourselves rather than how we want to. When we look at others..exactly what I meant to say here.
    -Rambler

  10. It’s how we feel what matters,not how old we are.

    Stay young always!I love Doogie Howser and Friends too!

    Have a great weekend 🙂

    Thanks sameera
    -Rambler

  11. I got a couple things to say on this one…lol…one, i didn`t feel older until my 35th birthday. I have no idea why or how but that birthday was horrible for me to face the age factor. Then a few months later I ran into a friend of mine from my high school and college years. We are the same age, she still does all the things I use to do with her. She`s married now with no kids. we use to bike, jog, and hang out together. Now she still bikes 10 to 20 k`s easily and jogs daily and I told her dragging my butt to the kitchen in the morning tires me out…lol…thats when I realized the age factor has little to do with who we become. My dad is 75 and has more energy than any one in my life…he`s still young 😀
    So lets stay young….deal?

    Jenn..35?? I seem to have hit the stage well before that :)..I agree that age factor may not affect us very much..there is a time when you realize the age factor right?..and it happened to be now in my case :).
    Yep a deal 🙂
    -Rambler

  12. Somedays I wake up and can barely remember the person I was back in high school…some days I wake up and remember all too well. Physically, I have not changed much…I can still pass as a teenager (whether that’s a good thing or bad thing is debatable). Emotionally and mentally, I am really beginning to see a change. I’m not saying that you should rush out and start a family-but maybe it is time to somehow add some more responsibility into your life?

    Silver..oh i know what you are saying here..there are days when I don’t remember anything from my high school..Silver glad you haven’t changed physically….I thought I wasn;t too :)..start a family..yeah may be some day
    -Rambler

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