I think there are two ways in which I tend to look at life. There are days when I think I live life to its finest details, tracking my steps to every possible extent, constructing every view of mine carefully, planning every move of mine, reasoning every thought that comes to my mind. This involves a lot of retrospection, I mean one does think a lot of what he/she dead as to what he/she ought to have done, days when I do not want to dismiss anything lightly, trying to construction something out of every possible thought, trying to see how that can help others and myself.
I guess it’s a curve, rather a circle, with passing days the involvement in my own life grows gradually, and then reaches a peak, and I realize that this is it, I got to break free, I got take things lightly, forget the finer aspects, look at life as set of passing days, enjoy the way as it comes, feel the happiness in an unplanned manner, and if it turns out to be sad then just go through the motions of pain. Let the life plan it for you, rather then you planning the life.
I think there is something in my mind which kind of tags continuum as boredom, so just like the unplanned life which kind of forced its way into my routine life, a want of a more planned one would find its way back in. So slowly I begin to plan a risk free, “non sad” days, even if it means that its not happy.
And the cycle continues.