Monthly Archives: November 2008

September

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She

was 

the summer 

of may

And I, 

onset of 

winter, 

The September.

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There was a line in the movie “Little Manhatten” where it goes something like “she is may and I am september”, somehow the line caught onto me, and I started thinking so many things it can mean, the line in the movie is used to depict that “she” is born in may, and “he” in september, but I could come up with atleast 4 different interpretations of what the months could stand for. This is one of my versions of the line.

The topic over at Sunday Scribblings happens to be “winter”, and I thought may be this is close to the prompt.

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Years from my life

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I am dreamer, remember the old series “Mungeri lal ke hasein sapne”?..well not so much, but still once in a while or so, I do dream, more like fantasies you know. Many a times I have caught myself fantasizing in the broad daylight, before you get naughty ideas, let me tell you, they are about things I see myself doing. [Again, people keep the naughtiness out of your minds]. Many a times I have thought, how nice it will be if I spend an year doing this, spend an year there.

So If I were to get an year from my life, all free to do what I want, with no strings attached, these are things I would love to be doing.

I would like to spend an year by studying an year abroad, doing my junior high.

This is sort of going back in time, but it still plays on my mind many a times, may be its got to do with so many series I watch of kids, something attracts me to the years of growing up, with no tension, with so much opportunities. I would love do that again here in India, but I want the exposure to many extra curricular activities, projects, and the life in general associated with an “made to believe” teenage life of a foreign kid.

I would like to spend an year doing what I call Traveling Foodie Journalism.
I really don’t know if the title makes sense, but this is the job title I came up with what I want to do, I want to just travel across the world doing journalism about food around that place. Remember Anthony Bourdain, I think this is my current fantasy profession. Couple of bad things though, as I am a vegetarian it would be tough to fit into the job, secondly I think I will definitely loose the thin frame which I am so accustomed to from last twenty seven years. But who cares about reality in fantasies right? 😉

I would like to spend an year living in some part of Bengal.
I have a strange fascination towards this taste, its rich heritage, its literary prowess, the music, the art associated, everything seems to attract me. How fun it would be to just live there, do what bengali’s do, eat their food, and indulge in things which interest them. I just want to experience the age old bengali life. Probably not in Kolkatta, even if it is there within the old parts. One thing must though are some local bengaly friends, who will take me around and help me lead ‘their’ life. Did I mention I love their pop/jazz culture and should I mention their food?.

I would love spending an year, getting back to studying.
That’s the thing I was best at, you know studying, scoring, exams, books. Its like how Sachin Tendulkar must feel towards cricket. Something which I have done for 22 years of my life. How did I ever decide to just discontinue still haunts me. Not that I cannot start doing that again, but I do not see the point, my decision not to do post graduation had many reasons, which I think is beyond subject of this post. But whatever said and done, I want to get back doing that for just one more year, with the dedication I had all through my student days.
[Now 2 out of 5 fantasies, has me studying in the year, can I say I am not a nerd?.]

I would like to spend an year living in the mountains.
I think this fantasy many others would share with me. there is something about mountains which attracts one and all. I have always been a visitor to the mountains which I tend to hate, I want to live there with having a return date you know, just get a feel that I am a mountain resident, the cold climate, the early sunrise and sunset, the early morning, and late evening chillness just excite me. The laid back life of the mountains is something I would love to experience for an year.

What about you guys? where and how would you want to spend an year.

Wisdom from a movie

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 I’d be driving along and I’d happen to look up in the rear view mirror, there’d be all these bloody people and crashed cars in the street and I’d think, “Jesus, there’s a lot of bad drivers in this neighborhood.” That was me, with people.

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I wasn’t even watching the movie, just flipping the channels when I heard this quote, aren’t some writers great?..later found out that this is one of the memorable quotes from the movie “Bounce” acording to imdb 

Hours of darkness

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I am grateful,

For those hours of darkness

When you force me

To come out of my blinding room.

Away from the lights and puters

Into open air and sky full of stars.

To a level of highness

Which I knew existed, but somehow avoided.


I am grateful

For those hours of darkness

As I tumble along

In the semi darkness of the moonlight

Free from a feeling of being pulled back,

With a unknown smile on my lips

With music in my ears,

And sways of dance on my hips.


I am grateful

For those hours of darkness

As I discover

Those hidden thoughts and desires

As I for once

Live without caring for being watched

As I forget

All inhibitions and fears and be not ‘me’


I am grateful

For those hours of darkness

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This has to be the most absurd thing I have written, with the daily power cuts here in Bangalore, I am left with no choice but to think of something to do with no power. Today I just out of the blue decided to go up onto the terrace, with my ipod stuck to my ears, I just walked around tumbling on small stones and looking into the sky. Its strange isn’t it, the feeling of the freeness you get when you think you cannot be seen, once in the darkness, even though you have no walls around you, you have a open sky above your head, and darkness all around, you feel a kind of freedom, and bid goodbye to all your inhibitions and shyness. 

 

The topic over at Sunday scribblings this week is “grateful”, aren’t I grateful for thoughts like these.

Scaling lives.

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I saw this post sometime back here, and was immediately drawn to the concept. It is like evaluating yourself and I liked the idea a lot. Who better to gauge the progress of my life, than myself. I guess this would really help to improve things which I am not so happy about, so here it goes my answer to the all important question

How would you rate your life?…On a scale of 1 to 10.…

Work wise?? When one moves from a job which you hate a lot, to even something which is mediocre, you just love the change. I guess my current job began like that. And once you get to see the extreme, you are always afraid to change the job because from mediocre you could go back to the worse. Even though I crib about my job, somewhere subconsciously I am satisfied, otherwise I wouldn’t stick for almost 5 years now. Decent money, decent work load, and decent workplace respect, so can one blame me for being complacent?.
I guess I would rate my work 7/10

Health wise??  I am no macho man, nor the hunky fit poster pinup, but I have never fell sick in a serious manner. Yes my eyes require glasses to see properly, and my hairs wouldn’t need comb few years down the line, and may be my knees aren’t world strongest, nor my teeth. But still a working piece I am.
I guess I shall rate myself 6/10
[I know all the food I eat, my heart may not be the healthiest ;)]

Education ?? I think I did what I wanted to, and chose not to do things I didn’t. However stupid it may sound to others, there were my decisions and I still stand by it. You know what I am satisfied with what I achieved.
I shall rate myself 8/10

Spiritual factor?? I am at a stage where I do not understand spirituality, or rather trying to define my own meaning for the word, because I feel spirituality is a very subjective thought. I do believe in religion as well as spirituality, and the practices excite me a lot. I guess I haven’t yet found  my spiritual interests. 
I think I will rate 4/10

Family factor??  I love this part, I am not embarrassed to say that I am a family man, and most of my decisions are keeping them in mind, I might argue/fight with my parents a lot, I may not be the friendliest person amongst the relatives, but I like to believe I just love the family bond, and blessed to be in a family like mine. So I think I shall rate this 7/10 

Stress factor?? I suck at stress, even though I handle stress decently, I make my life stressful unnecessarily, I guess I really got to improve this one 
I rate myself 3/10

Psychological factor?? Hmm I don’t know how one can rate themselves on this factor. If this is about moods and state of mind, I guess I am extremely moody and get highs and lows very quickly. I can’t say if that is good or bad, I can’t say being sensitive is good or bad. So let me take the middle ground on this one and rate myself 5/10

 

here’s the grand total 40/70 .. that would come up to nearly 57%

I am not sure If I should be happy about my rating, but am now sure about few things to work on.

Guys any of you interested in trying this one?…try it, I found it really interesting.

Now Vs Then

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I wanted to run away from familiarity, I wanted to have the feeling of a big change, wanted to see if I can survive a big change
The change has become familiar, and I guess I will not be running away from familiarity as such, may be running into one.

I was excited and happy
I am happy but no excitement.

I had so many new things I wanted to try/experience and I even had a fear that I might cross the line.
The excitement has died down drastically, I know what things I will  do, and I guess I know the outcome too.

There was no expectations from me, even from myself.
I guess I am expected to do a lot more, if not by anybody from myself.

Concept of new people excited me.
I will miss the old ‘new’ people.

Everything was an adventure
I got to find newer adventures.

There was no comparison, everything I did made history and memories
I have a lot to compare with, and I have a doubt I might end up feeling sour

I was hopeful the change will do me good.
I am sure the change will bring some changes.

Cooking was scary, and food was a big concern.
No longer afraid, infact I am looking forward to.

Its too early to mention what I am talking about, but this was on my mind for long now, so am just kicking the thoughts out onto here. All I can say now is that, it’s a comparison of times, which I am sure you guys can easily make out.

P.S I think some of the statements are a big give away.

A stranger, welcomed.

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With life, ready to retire,

Waiting to get cozy,

With those distant howls of jealousy,

And the twilight of reminiscent.

Umpteen attempts of climbing ladders, 

And escaping the snake bites,

Raising suns, and sunny afternoons later

Here I welcome the dark stranger,

Right into my life.

A known stranger from yesterday,

Unknown to the morrow.

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Guys I am back doing my sunday scribblings after a gap of about 3 weeks, it feels good to be back to doing things which I like, and one of which happens to be squeezing in stuff into 55 words, here goes my attempt at the prompt “stranger”. One thing though, I am not sure if I wrote this keeping in mind the stranger to be ‘a night’ or ‘the death’, let me know what you guys make of it.