Monthly Archives: April 2009

Power and comfort


Mankind has always been behind power. Power has been supposedly the biggest quencher of ego thirst, or even for that matter, a confidence booster, and a materialistic satisfier for as along as we can remember.

Very few can handle power well, I am not talking about how people make use of that power, instead I am talking about how few people are not comfortable of being in possession of that power.

Is it because we are comfortable being powered around?

Is it that we do not want to be the one to bell the cat, and be struck with being the one who has to stand up, be the bad one, and convey hard rules to people?

Is it because, its easy to be one amongst the rest, rather than one above a few?.

Is it just a matter of transition, just like anything new, we are taking time to get eased into it.

Is it that we are terrible leaders, and not wired to handle power.

Is it that we are afraid of the owning upto consequences which are inevitable with power.

any thoughts?


Tag time


Its been a long time since I did some tags, so here goes my attempt at following “manic me


– Available: Not sure

– Age: at times 5, others 27

– Annoyance: Ego, at the moment.

– Animal: none, I like them away from me, Unless you count me as an animal


– Beer: Bud Light, if not anything which is straight from the tap

– Birthday/Birthplace: Rajkot, I think it was thursday well past midnight

– Body Part on opposite sex: must have

– Best feeling in the world: Remembering something/someone whom you really wanted, and realizing you still have them right with you.

– Blind or Deaf: I would go for mute.

– Best weather: cloudy, grey, just about to rain, or just after the rain

– Been in Love: nope

– Been on stage?: yes, kind of resent it though

– Believe in yourself?: I would like to say yes, but then I doubt so much, so no

– Believe in life on other planets: don’t care

– Believe in miracles: yes, definitely

– Believe in Magic: nope

– Believe in God: Yes, mostly

C- Car: Not so much of a car person, own a santro which I have hardly driver

– Candy: given the right one

– Color: grey, beige,

– Cried in school: very rare

– Chocolate/Vanilla: anything, any form, anywhere

– Country to visit: Africa, Brunei, New zealand


– Day or Night: Day, early mooning, late noon

– Danced: nope, I don’t even have two left foot

– Dance in the rain?: no way, never

– Do the splits?: never tried


– Eggs: omlette

– Eyes: green

– Everyone has: problems


– First crush: realized way too late.

– First thoughts waking up: What’s my schedule

– Food: anything vegetarian


– Greatest Fear: loneliness

– Giver or taker: shameless taker

– Goals: calmness and peace for the self

– Get along with your parents?: yes and no


– Hair Colour: black brown silver

– Height: 5’8”

– Happy: very rarely

– How do you want to die: instantly

– Health freak? nope

– Hate:People who have no sense of time


– Ice Cream: without nuts

– Instrument: nothing one can play

– Jewelry: not my cup of tea

– Job: Coolie, but techie variety


– Kids: Amazing, simple and talented.

– Kickboxing or karate: just plain kicking

– Keep a journal?: Yes


– Love: over rated, and ignored at the same time.

– Laughed so hard you cried: nope..

– Love at first sight: Does drooling over a nice dish count as love at first sight?, if yes, many times.


– Mooned anyone?: hahha no, I can’t imagine how fun or bizarre that would be

– Marriage: will happen some day

– Motion sickness?: Nope, If you count not moving on weekends from front of television over the weekends which my mom terms as sickness, and is related to motion, then definitely yes.


– Number of Siblings: 0, but virtually speaking yes

– Number of Piercings: none


– One wish: Disney land near my house,


– Place you’d like to live: beach side, or by the mountains

– Perfect Pizza: they all taste the same

– Pepsi/Coke: non aerated shakes


– Questionnaires: I kind of like them


– Reason to cry: helplessness, by crying I do not mean tears

– Reality T.V.: non real

– Roll your tongue in a circle:  on?


– Song: current favorite – “jaane kaha mera jigar gaya ji”

– Shoe size: don’t know, must be 8 or something

– Slept outside: yes. in open air, in the tent, below a tree, ah fun!

– Seen a dead body?: yes.

– Smoked?: no

– Skinny dipped?: nope…never

– Shower daily?: there have been days I have skipped

– Sing well?: haha is “well” relative?

– In the shower?: yes

– Swear?: very rarely

– Stuffed Animals?: nah

– Single/Group dates: considering this is fantasy to me right now, I would go for group dates, more the merrier 😉

– Strawberries/Blueberries: blueberries

– Scientists need to invent: cure for greediness


– Time for bed: used to be 8:30, now I would like it to be 10pm

– Thunderstorms: fun, if you have good food and good company

– TV: fun if sitcoms are on

– Touch your tongue to your nose: easily


– Unpredictable: nope..too predictable


– Vegetable you hate: capsicum

– Vegetable you love: Okra, Potatoes

– Vacation spot: home stays within forests


– Weakness: worrisome

– When you grow up: I will like to be immature

– Worst feeling: not able to share your happiness

– Wanted to be a model?:  yeah, if they are selling something geeky, why not

– Where do we go when we die:  candyland

Worst weather: sweaty summer


-X-Rays: Cool if you are voyeur


-Year it is now: 2009

-Yellow: does not look good on me

Z- Zoo animal: slimy

– Zodiac sign: Virgo

How do I turn the d*** thing off!


Tap!, that’s all I had to do to get the tap flowing.

You pretty much don’t have any concerns left, once you find a loo after having to hold your pee for a long time, the relief is almost heavenly.

Wait, Tapping the thing did open the faucet in the sink, but how do I turn the d*** thing off?.

I start with the basic stuff,
twist it right,
twist it left,
pull it,
push it,
even try to move it slantingly.

Nothing seem to work.

TADA!, mentos, dimak ki batti jale de!.

There must be an automatic sensor some where. Genius begins to search for the sensors, it began with a
Wave in front of the faucet,
then below the tap.
behind the tap???..
ah forget it

There must be a switch somewhere, the hunt for the switch begins, and also for my patience..

Am I like being punked or something?, am I looking into a camera?, look around, no one except me.

What If I just walk out, nobody will know its me. what if they had a secret camera in here, i would sound so stupid..


*cunningly smiling*, ah the kids are gonna wash their hands, I can just copy them.

D*** kids, they had no business in here, they are just talking.

Finally, one kid is doing his thing, he should come in here soon to wash his hands.

Oh, how long does he take, its weird washing your hands for this long, what would the kids think of me.

Ah the kid is approaching, good.. Does he really have to apply soap for such a long time??…anyways he is almost its his turn to turn of the tap..ah I am so close to the end of my misery.


Kid tries pretty much all the things I tried, and gives up and coolly walks out.

So Your’s truly, follows the leader.

Happy days


There are days when, for no reason, you reminisce about the past, specially the happiness from the past. It’s not that you are sad or anything, just your mind dwells in the pleasure territories from the past. Today has been one such day to me.

Today for no reason, I remembered the two most happy days from my life. The days when you are genuinely happy, unconditionally happy, not thinking about how you are gonna take it in the future, just be in the moment and feel a great amount of satisfaction.

Fortunately I have these two days in my memory bank.

One of them is the day I got my first job offer, I can still feel the high from that day. Even though Its been almost 7 years now. [Saumya, if you are reading this, can you believe its more than 7 years]. I can still feel the buzz you know.  I remember not being able to sleep all night, being all excited. I am not sure if I ever felt that happy ever since.

The second one, has to be another 6 years back into past. The day I my school called up one day before class 10 board results. Let me not dwell too much into it, but I will just say, its been one of the two most happy days in my life. Even though I reached the same feat 6 years later once again, the first time feeling is just too awesome.

So here goes for those happy days in each of our lives.

I hate numbers


Over last few days this thought has been lingering in my head. Have you ever wondered what on this earth prompted for people to discover numbers?.

According to me “numerals” have to be the single most dreadful discovery ever made by mankind. If I were to do a countdown of 10 most dangerous discoveries by humans, the “numbers” would top my list. You’re right, even over the most dreaded nuke.

We have this habit of assigning a number to everything, you name it and we give it a number. If someone says  I am good at a particular thing, we will go ahead and ask him/her to rate him/herself on a scale of 1 to 10. I mean how does it matter, isn’t it good that he/she is happy to be good at something. what difference does a 7 or a 8 make to her. Only thing it can do, is to break the confidence levels and make them eager to get there, by hook or crook.

Its not like we want our life to be at a CMM level 4, where we want to quantitatively manager every single aspect of human existence. Still people attach measurements and a number to everything. Age, weight, height, waist size, salary, time taken to get to work, distance to the playground, years of marriage, you name it we give it  a number.

How cool it would be if we didn’t have numbers, we would have no way to measure anythings, that would make us so much more happier. People would be no longer jealous of how much their colleagues make, no one would feel sad on the number of kg’s they have gained, no one will feel bad at the number of car’s in the neighbour’s shed.

No numbers, would mean, that people do not let their lives hinge on those few numbers, instead would worry about making theirs more holistic. Happiness would be happiness again, it wouldn’t be measurable. Money would be for buying things, and not for checking balances, Size would be for satisfaction and not for comparison, house would turn into homes rather than the number of sq-foots or the count of bed’s and bath’s, there would be no anniversaries but only celebrations.

Ah!, who am I kidding, we are humans, we always will find a reason and then a means to compare, if not numbers, something else it would be.

Give me a look;


I am back with a passage yet again from Milan’s “The Unbearable Lightness of Being”. This one , I saved to ponder over more, before I post anything on it.

Kundera says “We all need some one to look at us. We can be divided into four categories according to the kind of look we wish to live under

The first category longs for the look of an infinite number of anonymous eye. in other words, for the look of the public.
The second category is made up of people who have vital need to be looked at by many known eyes.
The third category is the of people who need to be constantly for the eyes of the person they love.
The fourth and the rarest, the category of people who live in the imaginary eyes of those who are not present. They are the dreamers.

I tried to categorize myself into one of those, and somehow I found myself fitting into each of those. I have longed for many kind of looks through my life, and at time it has been public, at times known people, at times pair of imaginary eyes to follow me, and at rarest of the times someone who is a loved one.

Its strange what a pair of eye can do to us isn’t it?, how much ever we say others don’t matter to us, what they think, or weather they care about us does not make any difference to us. I would like to disagree with most of these thoughts, and I have always disagreed to such claims, atleast to me what people think about me matters, how they see me matters, and most importantly the thought of someone looking at me, gives me a feeling of being wanted, needed which is a big confidence booster.

Even though I like to categorize myself into the third category, I am afraid I would fit more into 1 and 2, and occasionally into 4.

So what category are you?.

Materialistic me


Sometimes I am so  materialistic. Let me correct myself, many a times I am so materialistic.

Today I got something which I have wanted for quite sometime now. I wouldn’t describe what I feel as ‘happiness’, but then I am not sad either.

Until the next materialistic figure that excites me, which I am sure will happen soon enough, Sayonara