Inter human equations, or relationships as we call them normally are such fascinating things, each time I talk to people about it, or think about it myself, it raises new fascinating questions, leaving me more baffled than what I began with.
Most of us believe that, no person is perfect. The idea of a perfect human is more like an oxymoron, what makes us human is imperfection, imperfection not just in us, but also in things we are a part of. This would mean, none of the human relationships are perfect, well I guess many of us would agree with that as well. None of our relationships are perfect, and it really makes no sense to a even try to achieve perfection, but then that doesn’t mean we stop wanting things to improve, more importantly it does us wanting things from our relationships. So that puts me in a dilemma.
Now that we agree that no relationships can be perfect, that would mean there will be certain things which will be missing, or rather we miss in our relationships. So the dilemma is this, is it ok to look for things we miss in a particular relationship, outside?. Take a moment or two to think over it..
Let me give an example. lets say your spouse is not a big fan of sports, and you are a big fan. You “want” to discuss sports with your spouse but she/he isn’t interested, would it be wrong to find that “want” outside the relationship?, find a friend who would want to discuss sports with you?. It finds perfectly fine to do that, isn’t it?.
Let me spice it up a little bit. Now lets consider a scenario, where you like to converse about your daily job happenings, and your spouse is least bit interested in it. Now, would it be wrong to find a person outside your relationship to share your job stuff?. is this at some level cheating?.
Where I am headed at, can our relationships be “horses for courses” saying?, can we say, ok I am sure I wont get this from my spouse, so why not look for it outside?.
Its a lot easier when the dilemma is about sex, Its a clear cut taboo to look for it outside, but when it comes to other things its a dilemma. Sometimes we find the missing aspects in friends, co-workers, parents, and sometime even strangers. We might be looking out for things without even realizing that we are playing with the relationships, the question is are we wrong in doing so?.