As humans why are we so obsessed with conclusions?. All arguments need to be decided, stories need to climax one way or the other, even sentences need to end with a period. This seems to be so unnatural, as in nature nothing waits till the end, end just happens, it is as abrupt as an unfinished sentence, a story incomplete. World does not wait for completeness, it just works at a pace not know to humans, and end happens, not to a plan. It sounds almost foolish to expect all sentences
When a child is born, the first thing that comes to people’s mind, is who does he/she resemble. There are elaborate discussions and arguments as to who the child resembles the most. Even though it starts with the appearance, the hunt for resembles stretches far from the looks, deep into every single behavioral pattern the child exhibits. Over years I have seen many parts of India, and some parts of the world outside. This practice of trying to find the resemblance is almost universal.
Even though the child is a complete individual, and will develop his/her own attitude and outlook towards world in a due course of time, I love the idea of trying to tag his/her behavior to one or more people in the family. We all know that no one lasts forever, and a day would come when we have to say goodbye to our dear ones, if not already done. Our memories of our dear ones too do not last long, with time the memories are meant to fade away. This simple act of seeing everyone we once adored, and every aspect of them which we identified them with, with our own children and grandchildren, we found an easy way to make sure our memories last our lifetime.
Every time my son picks up an almost inaudible sound, we see my mom in him. Every time he goes out to the street and picks up a conversation with a complete stranger he reminds me of my dad, every time he assumes every conversation people are having concerns him he reminds me of my grandmother, his style of looking at things is straight from my other grandmother, and his taste in food is my own copy.
We are not sure, how many of these are really true similarities, but to us they are true. With him, we see our grandparents walking right around us, long after they are gone; with him we will see our parents after they are gone.
If we were to partition what we need/want from people/relationships into various partitions, Into how many of them does one’s spouse fit into?. Into how many of them do others walk in?, Into how many of them do we let others walk in?.
Should one be happy if the spouse fits into many of these partitions?.
Should one be happy if they dont, and he/she can add many others who fit in naturally into these?.
Should one try to alter the spouse by changing their interests and outlook to be able to fit into more of these partitions?.
Should one be happy letting them fit only into those, where they fit naturally?.
Things change (period). He had been telling himself for over years now, every single time he wanted to get back to what he had, be who he was, meet people who were, do things he did, the way he did, with people he was used to doing it with. He wanted what once was, and will never be again. It was not a question of familiarity, nor was a question of comfort. It was to do with holding on, it was a question of letting go, it was do with making it last a bit more. Roles, relationships, work, money, hobbies, wants, likes, clothes, people, equations, his outlook on things, his attitude, his priority and his values, everything had changed.
Yet ‘he’ remained.