Posted in cubeland, Memories, Moi, Personal, Randomness, Thoughts, thoughts to think

2019 mythbusters

2019 has been a year of myth buster of sorts. It appears that life keeps coasting along with not many changes, and then comes a year, once in a while, which kind of jerks the pace of our lives. 2019 has been once such year to me. Professionally speaking I have been coasting along for quite a while now, and personally too I have enjoyed a major event free life for a while now. A level plane can be looked at both, with happy contentment, and an unhappy anticipation. I guess I was more of the happy contentment kind of guy.

I have been a workaholic from my school days, I don’t mind slogging and I am kind of proud of using it as my differentiator. Endurance and perseverance have been my virtues. 2019 gave me a rare low workwise, to be able to slack a bit. With not much expected out of me, I could laze around a bit. I discovered lazy can be fun too. Long coffee breaks, chat sessions, thought breaks, you name it I have had it this year. It gave me some time to reskill myself, but also a lot of time just to relax and enjoy some time off. It’s really fun to be lazy.

Having a busy work life means, personal life invariably suffers. I hardly spent any time with my son in last few years. Last few months have been a boon when it comes to parenthood. I am really surprised by my teaching skills, and my ability to create a project out of everything. I am extremely proud parent to have thought my son a language, math skills and some general stuff over the last few months. My 6-year-old son is not entirely happy though, to surrender his free time. Having time with kids is really important to build the bond. I had been always guilty of not spending enough time with my son, this year has been amazing when it comes to family time.  Parent in me, has left me pleasantly surprised.

We love to be happy, we all do. A great aspect of hindu religion is to not instil any guilt in happiness. The true essence of happiness is in enjoying it. Last few months have been good in removing a lot of guilt from my happiness. Having time, kind of reduces the reason to be running short of it all the time, when you are doing something, you are not constantly worried about things which you are missing out on. This kind of helps you to enjoy what you are doing now, and in a way enjoy the happiness of “now”. It made me realize, it is OK to enjoy happiness and there is nothing else more important than that enjoyment.

Anxiety was to the fore in so many ways. After a long time, I did not know what is is going to happen in near future, I had no idea what is right, how much risk is too much, how much of laid back is too laid back. I hate anxiety and am too poor in coping up with it. Well guess what, surprise surprise, I got past it like a pro. I was super relaxed [comparatively] for most part of it, and I even enjoyed that state a bit.

2020 promises to be an exciting new year, with lots on the anvil. I am going to miss my free time, hopefully 2019 has taught me enough skills to be able to balance my life a little better.