There was a time, when I used to get to work and do my thing. If there is a problem in what I have done, or what I am supposed to do, I would try to resolve it, to the best of my abilities. I would try, and if it goes beyond my capabilities, I was expected to “flag” it. If there is someone else around me who is working with me, and they are facing a problem, I was not really expected to do anything. If I tried to help them out of my own interest, it was actually a bonus. I would be appreciated for whatever extra I could add. It was my problem, but not really my problem. There were people who were supposed to pitch in these situations, they were the “seniors”, “leads”, “owners”.
Work life was simple.
There was a time, when my job was only to study. If there is any problem in my life, financial, emotional, physical, or any other possible problem that could occur to me, only thing I had to do was try to solve it with the best of my abilities. If not, I was fortunate enough to have a whole bunch of people to complain to, they really considered it their responsibility to help me out. My parents, teachers, cousins, grand parents were all my problem solvers. They were the responsible adults. I was at best a involved adolescent.
Life’s changed a lot over years. When did I end up changing parties?, when did I become the “responsible”
The list is endless.
Why do I feel that I am at a top of a ladder, where everyone else can lookup to me, and only person I can lookup to is the almighty above.
I don’t want to be that person, I want few more people above me, whom I can pass my problems.
I don’t want to be the one at the top, I hate being a topper.
There are times I admit, I don’t know what needs to be done, lets try this. The problem is that, in all those times, I need to be there when the suggestion does not work, and either I need to come up with a new solution and also worry about the time bound for the problem at hand.
I dont want to be that person.
I like to solve problems, when I need not.
For once, I like to think “That is not my problem”
`I want to break free.