Posted in Life, Moi, Personal, Thoughts, thoughts to think

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

I have always been a big fan of my response time to stimuli, I have been very happy about how quick I respond to situations, especially when there is a problem that needs to be dealt with. My philosophy has always been to go with a calculated risk of that of my reactions, a majority of which end up being freakishly accurate.

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

Over a period of time our abilities become our expectations, and our expectations give us anxiety. When I was very young, I had a better hold on my anxieties, things at stake were much less, and I did not have many things which can end up taking the brunt of my anxieties. Today having a wife and kid of my own, my anxiety affects a larger set of people.

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

When I begin my day, usually I do with a bag full of energy, waiting to attack any work that comes my way. Working with a team is a lot different from being an individual contributor. You have to respect the fact that each one have their own pace of working and understanding. You need to give them time to learn at their own pace and contribute. There are times when this really gets to me, those are the times where I need to hold myself back from reacting prematurely.

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

When I deal with my  6 year old son, it has challenges on its own. Kids are moody, they have very little attention span, they have very different priorities than us adults. When I want him to do something, or when I am teaching, him not matching up to my speed at times gets to me. I know it is not an easy thing to teach toddlers, but still the anxiety and anger sometimes makes me question if it is worth it.

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

At the end of the day, when my body is exhausted, I want to just lay down and relax and my mind is racing about things I want to do the next day, or later in the night. I get a feeling as if, I myself am not able to catch up to my speed. As If my body is staying behind.

I wish there was a pill to slow me down.

If I were to write my epitaph, I guess it would say……

 

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s