Most of us are living now in a constant fear. Something which was frightening around this time last year, has become monstrous now. Take a stroll through any media, and you will be scarred for life. The amount of negativity, sufferings, and death around all of us around the world, and especially in India during this second wave of this pandemic has left us angry, scared, disgusted, and mostly helpless.
I hate being helpless. I know ‘hate’ is a strong word, but I have no less feeling towards this helplessness of mankind, where we cannot even help our dying friends and family. I feel so sad for feeling selfish enough about me and my family, which is preventing me from even helping out even my immediate family, when they are in need of help. Just look around you, so many people literally gasping for a bit of air to survive, and our hands are so tied behind our backs in fear that we cannot even offer the comfort of our company to our dying loved ones.
Amongst all this negativity, there is one thing which I am extremely grateful to almighty for. Every Monday morning, when I sit in front of my laptop and put my headphones on. I feel transported to this amazing alternate world, where I am in total control. A place where, when people around me bombard me with issues, I have a solution to most of them. When I don’t have a solution, I still know how to find one. I can clearly see where I am stepping into. I dont need masks to cover my breath. The work that keeps me busy from morning till evening is warding off all my attention away from this bad situation which is killing the whole country.
I have been feeling guilty for my escapism. I seem to be feeling like an escapist in every aspect of my current life.
There has been no form of entertainment which has helped me take my mind off what’s happening to people in my country right now. My work is the only thing which has given me solace.
Monday to Friday, I look forward to drowning in a known world of my work life, silence weekends are deafening though.