Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Moi, Romance, thème

September

She

was 

the summer 

of may

And I, 

onset of 

winter, 

The September.

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There was a line in the movie “Little Manhatten” where it goes something like “she is may and I am september”, somehow the line caught onto me, and I started thinking so many things it can mean, the line in the movie is used to depict that “she” is born in may, and “he” in september, but I could come up with atleast 4 different interpretations of what the months could stand for. This is one of my versions of the line.

The topic over at Sunday Scribblings happens to be “winter”, and I thought may be this is close to the prompt.

Posted in Romance, thème

Eyes

Manner,
In which,
You,
Close,
your eyes,
the,
slowness,
with which,
you open,
them,
makes me,
forget my,
manners.

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Prompt over at skittles today is “manner”. Pathetic state my mind is in, only thing I could think of, was this.

Posted in "Fifty Five Words ", "Theory of pursuit", poésie, poetry, Romance, Thoughts, thoughts to think

One night stand

They lay there naked,
holding hands,
by the side of a lonely beach,
on a full moon night.

No inhibitions of sorts,
No hesitation in the mind,
No words exchanged,
Silence all around.
Pure love is what they shared.

To break the ice,
He said
“Love is in the air
She replied
“its” existence “questionable”.

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Prompt this week over at writer’s island is “questionable“, and here is my attempt.

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Posted in "Body or Soul", "Fifty Five Words ", poésie, poetry, Romance

Soothing…

A drink in their hands,
Smiles on their face,
A candle to soothe,
And a lovely conversation too .

Outrageous they were termed,
A single mom, she belonged to nineties
A tired teacher, he was of sixties

They shared something beautiful,
Battered bodies, shattered souls.

The bridge they began constructing
Was never meant for completion.

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I am just back from a vacation, and for a change am in a real good mood, I struggled to write something on outrageous but I was in too much of a positive frame of mind to think about outrageous, then I began thinking about completion and kind of struggled with that too. Hopefully this makes some sense

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Posted in Fiction, Moi, Personal, poésie, poetry, Realité, Romance

I look at you

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

I have lived this feeling before.

And, I have tried to stop myself before,

It’s the same sweet confusion,

Every time I see you.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

I avoid looking in the eye,

I talk to a friend nearby,

It’s the same act I put on,

Every time I pass by you.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

I’m not so innocent after all,

Desperate to steal a peek or two,

Sharp that you are,

Every time catching me amidst my silly act.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

You’re not so innocent either,

Those lovely eyes speaking the “silence”,

And that shy chuckle of yours,

Almost, making me, forget my next step.

 

 

I look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

 

Couple of seconds and hush you are gone

And me too, back into my lifeless world,

But with a hope for the same strange feeling,

For the times in future, when I get to walk past you.

 

 

I continue to look at you,

With a sense of Déjà vu.

 

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The topic over at writer’s island is “Deja Vu”, Here is a semi fiction which I thought about the topic.

writers-island-badge1.jpg

 

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Family, mèmè, Personal, poésie, Romance, thème

Retro thoughts..

Thinking Aloud who writes at Aalochane has tagged me with a meme, which is about recollecting thoughts from the past, Trying to recollect the posts you have written and reliving some of the thoughts related to family, friendship, yourself, and your love.

I think I had seen this meme on one of the blogs before, and I had liked it instantly, mainly because its more about reliving those moments when you wrote those posts. So for a change I chose to do the meme on the same day as I am tagged :).

For the readers, here are the rules
Post links to 5 of your previously written posts. The posts have to relate to the 5 key words given : family, friend, yourself, your love, anything you like. Tag 5 other friends to do this meme. Try to tag at least 2 new acquaintances so that you get to know them each a little bit better.

Here they go …

Family.. I think one of the things which should be and will be in all of our minds is family, actually I was searching through my older posts, and I never thought I would not find posts related to family in there.
I remember this post which I had written about parenting, I am not a parent, but it doesn’t stop us thinking like one, does it?, heres “parenting blues from a non parent.“.
There are times when I totally feel a disconnect from my family, and its followed by a realization and getting back into the family groove, one of those times over here at “family lost and found“.

Friends…
I have had very less number of friends over years, but the ones I have, have been really close.
There have been times when I have wondered where it all starts, like here “lets talk about beginnings“.
There have been times when I have wondered about how friendships have been under confusions over years when gender is involved, “friendship talkies.

Yourself…
Looks like all posts I write, somehow relate to this topic in a way or other :). I wish I could put all the links here..
I have some real strong attachment to this thought, mainly because this is the first time I wanted to write something. This is the first time I documented the thought that was going through me. Here it is “Inspired by the 2 way
I have written for prompts over time, and one of the posts which I really liked was about writing letters, I think this was something which I felt for “Times when I wanted to write a letter
I have never shied from admitting I tend to be over sensitive, and there were times when I have thought more about the topic like here “I am talking sensitivity today”

Your love..
I am really apprehensive when it comes to this topic, mainly because I feel my brand of romance or love is something not the typical types, or may be not even something that can be considered as love.
I once spoke about the music of silence between people here at “Silent strings“.
There have been times when I have been expressive, about how I see ‘her’, what I want ‘her’ to be like, for example here at “she“.
My ideas of sharing romance with a partner was once upon a time expressed over here at “bed share story“.

Somehow did not find the 5th topic on TA’s blog, so went ahead and chose something which always finds mention on my blog.
Relationships…
I once wrote about equations, and I was really impressed with the title I chose..”x2 + y2 = z2

I am supposed to tag 5 people, but I am really bad at this, so I think I am gonna bail out on this one :).

Posted in Fiction, Romance

Questions unasked…

She stood in her normal waiting spot, just outside the exit to her workplace. She had been working in that call center for about an year now, and she had met him for the first time in the same company. He was a fellow employee, a little senior though in terms of experience. She tried to call him on his cell phone, but it seemed to be switched off. She was furious at him for being so careless. This had almost become their routine, meeting in between shifts, she would be on her way home and he on his way into office. The adverse working hours meant that this was the only time they got in the day to see each other. The cab driver starting honking to try to grab her attention, she had to go now, could not wait more. so she rushed into the cab with a sad face.

She started sending him SMS one after another, hoping that he will respond to one of them, but no luck, she was slightly worried now, he had never been so bad in responding, bad thoughts began to cross her mind, the crime scene in city had become worse, and technology people had become very easy targets. Was he in any kind of danger, she would have paid a million dollars to know the answer to this question. People around her in the cab could sense there was something wrong with her, they began to ask her if everything was OK. She replied in the affirmative, but her face told a different story. She reluctantly reached home, and was forced to sleep by her mother knowing very well she had to be at work in the evening for her night shift.

She rushed with a sense of urgency that evening, hoping she would at least catch him on his way home, unfortunately he was not to be seen at that time too, now she had a sense of something going wrong. She controlled herself as she went in to go and catch some of his friends around, it looked like all of them had left already, only person whom she could find was his shift manager, he seemed to be very busy, still she could not hold it any longer, she went and asked the manager. One could not hear what he was telling but could see tears flow down her cheeks, she stood there as the manager spoke, it was not that much of a conversation as she had hardly any thing to speak, so did the manager, he just spoke a line and turned his back towards her. It was just her standing her place, with tears in her eyes.

Two days ago was his last working day at the office, he had moved on into a better paying job elsewhere, for a second she could not believe he had left without telling her, she had never expected him to do this to her. Still she had some hope, she still gave benefit of doubt to him, She thought something terrible must have come up, why would he otherwise do this to her. She was sure he would contact her soon.

The wait turned from days to weeks and weeks to months, he never called back.

She was strong, and yes she was hurt, but over time she had moved on, she had not given up on men, after him she met couple of really good guys, and she continued to wait for them after their shifts, and the usual romance followed, something or the other used to prop up in the relation and break ups used to follow, that never stopped her, she continued to be stronger and moved on to better things and newer people. She still had one question though “why”, why did he do this to her, what made him do this.

She finally said yes to her parents, they had been trying to make her agree for the marriage, and she finally agreed, and then began the search for the prospective groom. Everyday she had to go through the long list of photos and profiles her parents used to get her, and days passed. One day, they had a profile that interested her, just a look at the photo and all her memories were back. It was of “him”. She immediately had an agitated mind, on one hand she was furious, for having to deal with him again, on the other hand this had opened up a channel of communication to him, all she wanted to know was “why”

She decided to meet up with him, one last time, just talk to him once and ask him “why?”. She asked her parents to set up a meeting time, and it was agreed that they would meet up at his residence the coming Sunday. She went all prepared, with a mind ready to blast him, and a question to ask before that.

The day arrived and so did she with mixed feelings at his house. He had not changed much, he almost looked like the one she had bid bye on the night before he went absconding. After the initial introduction, they left the couple alone to speak. She had been waiting for this moment so long.

What followed was something she could never imagine, he was the same old person, the same sweet guy whom she had fallen for, the same lovely smile, the same sweet talk, and from the looks of it, she was falling for him again. She wanted this for just one more day, she thought she would enjoy the moment and may be ask him the question the next day. So they decided to meet up again the next day, this time at their old favorite coffee shop.

He was there sharp at 7 as promised, with a box of chocolates, and ideas and views which she still loved. They spoke for hours together, in the sweet time she was having, she totally forgot about her question, they did set up the next date though. This continued for about a month, every time she wanted to bring up the topic, she did not want to miss the wonderful time she was having.

Their parents had booked the wedding hall now, and If she ever could ask her question it was now. But she did not. She decided, what she was having was something great, she did not want to spoil something as good as this, they did marry in the same month, and they did live a life she had always dreamt off. One question she took to her grave was “Why”.

Was she correct in not asking him?, Can one blame her for opting for the pleasure she was having over the pain she had had?, More importantly was he let off easily?, or was his guilt his biggest punishment? Some questions, better left unasked?

Posted in "Heads or Tails", Personal, Romance, thème

Love in the times of world wide web – Heads or Tails #25

The topic over at skittles today is “Love”, looks like valentines day fever is on the air. As I vesaid recently romance makes me go blank, and I was almost sure that I would not participate in the Heads or Tails this week, until an article in Times of India on Monday caught my eye. It was all about how people have moved onto the net as the medium to find dates, and how people are exploring social networking websites to find people with similar interests, and prospective partners. Apparently there have been many a people who have had a relationship over the internet for years together, where they started chatting over day to day things, and then moved onto deeper discussions, discussions regarding personal, finally emotional discussions before meeting in person, and then the relationships built on.

I really had avoided this topic for long, because I felt this was a misconception, I do not think one can give so much importance to people one meet online, leave alone building relationships.

I remember when chatting on yahoo chat rooms became very popular when I was back in college, even though I didn’t have internet at home, I occasionally went to a cyber center to “browse”, I really had no clue what to browse for, it looks so naive now, I used to check my emails, which always used to be empty, then I used to read some filmy news online, and in early surfing days, a little of porn until the curiosity died down. All I could see around were people chatting, I had no clue what they chatted about, I did try logging into the yahoo chat rooms, all I could see were some useless sexually aggressive messages, which I later discovered were “bots”.

The latest craze among many people are social networking websites like orkut and myspace, traditionally I have been known to discard technologies or anything which is a social rage. Even though I created an account in orkut out of curiosity. It took a long time to understand what that could be used for, by that time I had no interest in it. Anyways, when I first saw that people were using this to freely send messages to unknown people, asking if they wanted to meet up, or wanted to talk over the phone, My first impression was, what girl would agree to meet someone from online, I am sure it will be just some desperate perverts trying to catch a girl. I read an article few months back, saying how some female profiles on the orkut website had openly talked about their preferences, and their openness to meet like minded individuals. Call me a Hypocrite, its only then I thought, one really considered these seriously. Not that when men put out these open invitations, all of them would have been bad, unfortunately the past track records in society spoilt my thinking. I did try to check out some profiles to see if it was really true, I did not find any though. I have come across many blogs which mention instances about their friends meeting people from the internet, or having a deep relationship with the person they met from the net. It really surprises me that more and more people, whom I thought would be skeptical trying this sort of a thing or getting more courageous in trying out something like this.

I have to admit blog-land is the only place on the internet where I have spent so much of my quality time, not just writing but also reading people who have so much to say, some who have very similar views as me, some totally different views but have been an eye opener of sorts to me. I have developed huge respect and admiration towards so many bloggers, but will it translate to a real life relation?.. I am not sure. Relationship may not be of romantic nature mind you, or may not necessarily begin with such an intent, may be an acquaintance or a friendship. I still continue to try for total anonymity unless it comes down to people whom I accidentally expose my identity or a case where In I am absolutely sure that there Is no way the person can make use of my identity. So what is that fear that is stopping me?. Any clues anyone?

Still I am not able to convince myself, that something close to a real life acquaintance is possible over the internet. I know I mentioned recently that I might want to meet some of my fellow bloggers, but at the same time I am still not so sure if I should do so.

Do you think you can meet your partner or that matter a good friend online?.