Posted in "Theory of pursuit"

Age for idolism

Have you ever wondered why you felt so bad when an idol of yours is no more?, or when a favorite singer of yours bows out of the race due to competition, or a favorite actor of yours ages horribly and still hangs around annoying the hell out all movie goers?. Have you ever felt, why on earth didn’t I move and replace the idol the with the current crop of people, have you ever wondered why you never got impressed as much as you had before?. Its not that the new people on the block or less talented, just the could never mean as much to you as what the earlier person meant. Have you ever wondered?.

Recently when I heard Sonu Nigam do his bit with Kylie Minogue, it pained me a lot to see what he has become. He is and will remain my favorite singer for long long time, but then look how limited number of songs he has been getting lately, and the quality of them, least said the better. There was a time when his songs in movie like “Tere Liye”, which never saw the light of the big screen made me listen to them with all my attention, there is something in his voice which just appeals to me. Today its just really painful to see the horrible songs he gets to sing.

Salman khan, the bad kid of bollywood, the least liked actor amongst the intellectual movie watchers, one who doesn’t know how to dance well, nor even have courage nor ability to do different kind of roles, but he is someone who I loved watching on screen.  I just liked watching his movies, period. There was no logic behind that. But lately watched in couple of trailers, which made me think, this is it,  the end is in sight for this fellow.

Whats interests me the most is that, after them I don’t see anyone influence me the way they did, I will never be waiting for an album from another singer like the way I waited for the album “Mausum”, or the way I wanted for the movie “Khamoshi” to release. I just dont see myself that way.

I guess it has to be the age, the age when we are open to be influenced, once we move out of it, we just dont care about these things like the way we did. We no longer form this larger than life images in our head, you listen to you a song its just music, you watch a movie its just an actor. The idea of idolism is long gone with that age.

I now understand how my dad never grew out of Rafi, or why my granny never grew over rajkumar, or for that matter a teenager never gets of Patrick Swayze.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Life, Moi, Thoughts, thoughts to think

The beginning of the end.

Most of us find it difficult to say goodbyes, and wish we could say good byes easily. I guess somethings are more painful then goodbyes, like when you see a goodbye coming, when you think goodbye would be what ‘this’ would end up in, the time you spot the beginning of the ‘end’.

It could be as simple as a weekend, when you wake up after a nap on Sunday afternoon, and you kind of know the end has begun. Its exact feeling when you are towards the end of your vacation, like the penultimate day, or the last one, its just painful to think its going to end.

I guess everything in life is a process, nothing is stable, everything begins low, builds up, reaches peak, then the descent begins. The build up is a whole lot fun, like friday morning, the build up to the weekend sounds so much fun,  like when you prepare for a vacation, make reservations, the ascent is so much fun. But what goes up has to come down, and when you spot the descent, the feeling you get is one of the worst one can ever feel.

One of the quotes which always motivates me  “Every song needs to end, but thats no reason not to enjoy the music”. Just because there is going to be descent you would not want to not enjoy this ascent?, or the future ones which are going to punctuate your life isn’t it?. One wouldn’t stop enjoying the friday’s, just because you know Sunday night is going to end the fun isn’t it?.

All said and done, some idiots like  me, begin friday evenings in fear of sunday evenings.

I am sure you guys would have known this is not about weekends, and there is a lot more to it then a mere weekend. Well I can’t help but see the beginning of an end, I don’t know if it is just a fear, or a notion, or signs of real things to come. I just can’t stop fearing the end, and linking every single event to a possible ‘begin’. If you know what I mean.

Some how the descent is much painful then the fall.

I just wish every time I get a feeling of descent, I had something like the jet pack from “Dangerous Dave“.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Relationships, Thoughts, thoughts to think

Are we wrong?

Inter human equations, or relationships as we call them normally are such fascinating things, each time I talk to people about it, or think about it myself, it raises new fascinating questions, leaving me more baffled than what I began with.

Most of us believe that, no person is perfect. The idea of a perfect human is more like an oxymoron, what makes us human is imperfection, imperfection not just in us, but also in things we are a part of. This would mean, none of the human relationships are perfect, well I guess many of us would agree with that as well. None of our relationships are perfect, and it really makes no sense to a even try to achieve perfection, but then that doesn’t mean we stop wanting things to improve, more importantly it does us wanting things from our relationships. So that puts me in a dilemma.

Now that we agree that no relationships can be perfect, that would mean there will be certain things which will be missing, or rather we miss in our relationships. So the dilemma is this, is it ok to look for things we miss in a particular relationship, outside?.  Take a moment or two to think over it..

Let me give an example. lets say your spouse is not a big fan of sports, and you are a big fan. You “want” to discuss sports with your spouse but she/he isn’t interested, would it be wrong to find that “want” outside the relationship?, find a friend who would want to discuss sports with you?. It finds perfectly fine to do that, isn’t it?.

Let me spice it up a little bit. Now lets consider a scenario, where you like to converse about your daily job happenings, and your spouse is least bit interested in it. Now, would it be wrong to find a person outside your relationship to share your job stuff?. is this at some level cheating?.

Where I am headed at, can our relationships be “horses for courses” saying?, can we say, ok I am sure I wont get this from my spouse, so why not look for it outside?.

Its a lot easier when the dilemma is about sex, Its a clear cut taboo to look for it outside, but when it comes to other things its a dilemma. Sometimes we find the missing aspects in friends, co-workers, parents, and sometime even strangers. We might be looking out for things without even realizing that we are playing with the relationships, the question is are we wrong in doing so?.

Any thoughts?

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Thoughts, thoughts to think

Catch you at the coffee machine

Best thing about a social community is the variety it has to offer. What better community to observe, than the workplace where we spend so much of our time. One place I get to meet and observe amusing people is the coffee machine. I am sure each of us have our own coffee machine stories, but have you ever tried to see how different we are, and we show so much of us, in the 5 seconds we share at the coffee pot.

There are people who are so engrossed they don’t seem to have time to smile at others in the queue. They seem to have just walked out of a hard day at home, engrossed in work or other worries, just too occupied to enjoy the moment.

Then there those bubbly types, who seem to make me see sunshine in the hallway, chirpy with “mornings” on their lips, and wishes and smiles always. I always have a thought that how many of them have a bubbly mask to hide the real feeling.

Then there are those like me, who are caught humming every time they pick up a coffee, and embarrassed to the core catching someone behind them unexpectedly. Its as though the coffee pot appears like karaoke to them, not sure what is it about a morning which makes them wanna hum our favorite song.

Then there are those, who seem to have emptied all the perfume in their closet onto their clothes. Its as though they want to hide the faintest smell of their originality, as much as they want to hide every bit of their aroma. Nothing is worse than having to get headache on the way to one thing which can cure it.

Then there are those unruly types who don’t care a little bit of others, how difficult is to read a poster which is put up right next to the coffee pot, which says “please brew a new pot before picking up the one at the brew”. Its like they are just too selfish to care about others, as long as they get what they want, they really dont care if others have to wait for a long time.

Then there are those sweet people, who tend to be really helpful and clean up other’s mess. They pick up the tissues and wipe the desk around the pot, or refill the sugar etc. They really do think a  lot about others, may be they always have, coffee is just a way to showcase their habits.

One coffee machine..One work place..One community..and a whole lot of life

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Kindred, Life, Moi, Personal, Thoughts, thoughts to think

Ounces of happiness.

I have had more than one occasions in recent past, where I have felt immense happiness from things which may otherwise be not even visible to me or to others.

At times it has been the tone of a voice, or a want of an explanation, a hint of possessiveness, a feeling of rage, or even for that matter ability to fight to stand up for oneself, a little showcase of vulnerabilities, sharing insecurities, or for that matter a little want of togetherness, and discovery of a feeling which is mutual.

I think we all are wired to feel happy, and tend to find happiness in every single corner of our life, may be its because of that we end up feeling unhappy, because we are always in quest for happiness.
So one might ask is happiness overrated? is it that we tend to focus too much on happiness, making us want it so much that we end up being unhappy?.

Sometimes I have a feeling that happiness is a sort of weakness, which we stumble upon easily. Even a slight hint, we pounce on it like as though we spotted gold, and try to dig as much we can out of it. Take it home, clean it, put it in a safe, making sure it lasts as much as it can, and try to shield it from wear and tear of daily life.

I write this post, knowing well, that swords are always on the edge, and tomorrow is always a mystery. I am not sure about the fate of the little ounces of happiness which I have found recently, nor am I aware if they will last a long time.

This time I really don’t want to shield it, I want to leave the pot of gold out in the open, if it sparkles forever then I couldn’t ask for anything more. If it disappears tomorrow when I wake up, I guess I would be satisfied for enjoying it in the most natural way I could have done it.

All I could do right now, is be thankful, and enjoy it.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Thoughts, thoughts to think

How could I miss the obvious

At 27 you cannot really say one is naive. I can say, I have seen world, a little, if not the whole. Its good enough amount of time to develop perceptions and thoughts over various subjects, develop views and establish priorities. Over time we focus so much on our views and our line of thought, we tend to ignore the other obvious things. Just because we dont see it as a possibility, or people around us do not think in those lines, we tend to forget the alternate lines. Some times most obvious ones end up being snubbed, just because we havent seen things that way.

Recently I was having a casual discussion on various topics with a friend, and suddenly a topic of concern to her came up. This topic has been a social concern for ages now, and for some reason I had never thought of it as a major concern because it never happens around us. Just consider something like preventing a widow remarriage, female infanticide, pressure for a male child etc.. To be honest, these are the most alien things to me, because I have never seen or heard of cases such as these in my immediate family or in my social circle. So I am kind of blinded to such issues, I do not think much about them, nor think they are serious issues. But honestly we all know they do exist in our society. When someone comes up to you and asks, “would you insist on a male child?”, you would say a big NO, and think is this a real concern?, but when you think about it from the others perspective it probably is a big concern, because every day we see so many cases reported in newspapers about such problems.

At the end the concern makes more sense than my view, or rather lack of it towards the concern, and leaves me wondering how could I miss such an obvious one.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Thoughts, thoughts to think

Destined homes

Have you ever seen a person, who after years living at a place moves to a different place, extremely alien to his/her habitat, and just gels with it. Its as though he was born to be in that place, and finally he has reached his destination, rather, his home.

I am definitely not talking about myself here.

I have seen couple of people who have changed so drastically with new places, and got in terms with the changes so well that, you look at them, after a gap of years, and mentally compare them with the person you know, and you kind of have a feeling, what was this person doing back then, he is so much more of a personality he was cut out to be, in this new place.

I have also seen people who cannot buy the fact, the other person is happy. I mean so what if he or she does not remain the same person, so what if he/she is no longer what you consider is best for him. Its finally his/her life and they are enjoying it in a way, probably they wanted to all their life, and just weren’t at the right place for it.

Thinking of  the subject, reminds me of this song “home” by Foo Fighters.

P.S People I have finally done it, I have gone back to where I began from. Only people who seem to be reading me these days are the ones who land up here looking for something via the search engines, just the way it was when virtual ramblings began. I seem to have driven all my readers away.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Request, Thoughts, thoughts to think

Does Media think?

I read about this great child participant in one of the talent shows over “here“, Me being a big fan of new voices, had to check out this new girl who was supposed to be amazing. I started googling for an online place where I can watch the show and the singer.Yep the girl Shalini is very talented, it would be interesting to know how she can adopt to other genres of songs.

As I was watching the show, which began with a cheap imitation of the hum – tum type of animation, but with a kiddo touch to it, for few minutes I was annoyed at the plagiarism, and lack of original ideas in the media these days, but the worst was to follow.

The format of the show did not require virtual compere’s, but to attract kids probably they threw in some animation. They needed a story plot to keep the narration going right, so what did they choose, boys vs girls. I don’t understand one thing, why do they want to make everything battle of the sexes, atleast please leave the kids out of this.

For the Nth time,  its not a boy or a girl who won or win these talent shows, it is the talent and their musical ability. If you can’t see this simple fact, you should not be creating a musical show. I have seen this being used in every single talent show being shown on TV, last 3 seasons its a boy who is winning, so this time we want it to be a girl. I generally don’t use swear words, but these lines on TV makes me wanna say WTF is wrong with you people, don’t you want a good singer to win, who cares whats dangling or absent down there,  on that person.

When you take kids below 10 and make a show, I am sure the target audience is mainly kids as well. When kids are watching, and every now and then someone comes up to them and says, girls need to win this time, or the boys are much better, what message are we sending?. In the era where we speak of gender bias, isn’t this a biggest example of it?. when will we grow up and start accepting responsibilities to tell the right things to people, and not focus on this mindless sexist propaganda which for some reason media thinks motivates people.

There have been really famous people who have come in these shows and made these remarks, and everytime I have heard about that, I have lost the respect for that person.

I am not sure when the media realizes, its not a war of the sexes out there. I was and am still am, one of those extremely competitive people. I may not win in all of them, but I always sulk and wine and try to compete in every possible thing, but it has always been competition with a person and has never been with the gender. I don’t think that is a big deal, because I have never met anyone who says, man I got to beat someone because I dont want women winning it. Be honest guys how many of you have spoken to or even felt this one. Lets assume some of us are not up to the mark and do feel this way, but do we want our next generation to be on the same lines?.

Now having said all this, I do admit that I am nothing but just a whiner, I do continue to watch those shows and be furious when they continue to do such idotic mistakes.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Thoughts, thoughts to think

Lets move in.

Absolute Vanilla mentioned about the movie “Stealing beauty” on her tag, and made me curious about it so about a week back I watched the movie.

I was kind of fascinated by an idea in the movie, and it has occupied my brain for a large amount of its sane hours. This was not the main idea of the movie, nor did come across as the point of it, but it is the best thing I took out of the movie.

I don’t know what people call it, or how it should be addressed. I call it “community living”.  This post is all about how excited I am about the idea and how I would love to implement it some day.  Just to give you guys a hint, how important this idea is to me, this is the only other idea which I would love to implement in real life, apart from the adoption dream which I have for years now.

Anyways, coming back to the topic. For years Indians and Indian culture has projected to be high on family values, known to thrive under joint family, and nuclear families are a strictly frowned upon concept, moving out is an almost non existent, and living alone never heard of.  How much of these is really true?. I know joint families still exist, and people still live with their parents, but lets talk in percentages, do we really believe we are at the same place in society where once we were?. Honestly, I don’t think so. I do admit, my idea of India is way too localized to urban India, and honestly don’t know how it is in rural parts. One of the bad things about urbanization has been the rich and a wide rift it has put between the urban and the rural people.

I think I am wandering too much away from the topic. Coming back to community living. The idea goes like this, now when the society has evolved to an extent, where we do not share our lives with our relatives, or rather people who are related to us by blood, are we loosing the idea of community life?.

How wonderful it would be that, if a bunch of like minded people gathered together and lived in a single house. Of course, this has nothing to do with a ‘loving together’ in the cliched sense that has been projected by the media. This is purely at the social level, how would it be if people shared a dining table after a hard day at work, where one can talk with people who are interested in the same things as them, share an opinion, and just really live together.

I do understand that, there is going to be privacy issues, and a whole lot of problems which were a part of joint family system. But I just think all those problems will be too less, when compared to the good things that this would bring out.

Just picture some of the most important people in your life, friends, colleagues,  activity partners, friends of friends, or even strange people who have similar interests living under one roof, how cool would that be, where you need not have to go back home after a lovely meal, because you all stay there together. How your weekends can be full of activities which you love to do together. With all this, when you want privacy you have your own room to go to.

It’s so much similar to the old age homes, but the difference is you are not old, you still have the zeal and energy to do anything you want, you have physical strength to do anything you wish to, and then when you gradually grow older you have people to bond with, people are interdependent, rather than dependent.

I just love the idea.

I closed my eyes and imagined every single conversation I had wished did not end, every single day or event which I shared with people which I wished happened more often, the people whose houses I had wanted not to leave just because they don’t live at my house, or I don’t live at theirs. Just imagine all of them in your room everyday anytime you want. Isn’t that fun?.

Its NOT going to be all rosy, I do know. Its going to be really fun at the beginning and going to slowly show its bad face, and people whom you wanted to be with, may not seem livable with.

Again isn’t this worth an experiment?,  so what if we fail, we can always go back to where we were, but then just think about how great it would be if were to be a success?.

Any thoughts guys?.

Posted in "Theory of pursuit", Thoughts, thoughts to think

Power and comfort

Mankind has always been behind power. Power has been supposedly the biggest quencher of ego thirst, or even for that matter, a confidence booster, and a materialistic satisfier for as along as we can remember.

Very few can handle power well, I am not talking about how people make use of that power, instead I am talking about how few people are not comfortable of being in possession of that power.

Is it because we are comfortable being powered around?

Is it that we do not want to be the one to bell the cat, and be struck with being the one who has to stand up, be the bad one, and convey hard rules to people?

Is it because, its easy to be one amongst the rest, rather than one above a few?.

Is it just a matter of transition, just like anything new, we are taking time to get eased into it.

Is it that we are terrible leaders, and not wired to handle power.

Is it that we are afraid of the owning upto consequences which are inevitable with power.

any thoughts?