Posted in poésie, poetry, Uncategorized

Ember

With every whiff of air that winter evening,
gushes of fire ripped across the windows.

A calmness of contempt, in those red eyes,
as the white ashes blew away into the darkness.

The warmth within, morphed by the icy touches,
Stillness of fire, a disgrace to the frame.

Time was up, so was the night, a hollow morning
followed a shallow night.

You walked your path, to where you belong
An ember of life, left behind.

Posted in Randomness, Uncategorized

They call it Old Fashioned.

My love for cooking has not diminished a bit over years, as I continue to explore my palate and attempt to please other’s, I go through various experiences which has made me learn a lot about myself, much beyond food.

My wife made an interesting observation. according to her, I have an ‘old fashioned approach’ to cooking. At first I did not give much thought to the comment, as my wife considers a lot more of me to be old fashioned. I assume she means that in a ‘not so good way’ and I see it to be in a ‘very good way’. However, true to my usual way, a long after the comment, and days after the observation from my wife, I truly saw what she meant when she said ‘old fashioned way of cooking’.

When you watch any show on cooking, one common sight is that of the chef tasting the food many times throughout the cooking, and for sure towards the end of it. Having grown up seeing my mother and grand mother cook, at no point I have felt a need to taste the food/dish I am making, until I actually serve myself, along with rest of the people. The idea of having to taste the food to be able to check what is missing, less or  excess is completely alien to our way of cooking. This practise of not tasting, though rooted in religious beliefs, has become more of a challenge to one’s culinary skills. On television, when the chef dips his spoon into the pan, and brings it this mouth and takes a swipe at it, one can almost see my eyes cringe. Well, tasting is definitely not to my taste.

Being a software coolie, we have been taught the benefits of quantifiability over and over. Anything we do should be measurable, and we don’t do anything if they don’t measure it. When it comes to cooking, the idea of a measure has been very common, however the emphasis on the measure, and the equipment to do the same, have reached great heights in recent past. There are thermometers to measure the temperature, there are measuring spoons to measure your pinch, there are measuring jars for the liquids, and there is no end in sight. In my way of cooking, largely handed over from my grand mother, there is just one equipment ‘eye’. I love the phrase in my grand mother’s recipes ‘kannalathe [measure by eye]’. It baffles me, having learnt the modern of dealing with things, which guarantee assured results, how can one [read me] believe in the outcome of something as untrustworthy as one’s own eyes. [irony, intended.]. I measure the amount by my fist-fullness and more finer amounts by how much my thumb and the fore fingers can feel. The color and aroma are the two other big give aways as they clearly indicate what and how much should go in.

A close friend of mine used the word ‘plating’, something which I was not familiar with. On looking it up, I realised how nice plating makes the food look, and how much it can enhance the appeal of the food. To be honest, I am drawn to the nicely plated food at restaurants, and I occasionally ignore the lack of quantity which gets nicely hidden with brilliant plating tricks. However when it comes to my cooking, I choose quantity over plating, and convenience our cutlery. I can still serve and present them nicely, and also throw in couple of resourceful cutlery to play with, however this aspect of food gets a very limited attention from me. May be “what” is old fashioned to today’s “how”.

 

Posted in Personal, Relationships, Uncategorized

Many

Relationships have always fascinated me, and it appears that they will continue to do so. As a an awkward nerd, I have had years of experience when it comes to fantasising and daydreaming various aspects of a relationship, ranging from the initial meet, to an intimate affair. Years have left me with bits and pieces from my life, which in retrospect have taught me such wonderful aspects of human interaction, which have ended up gracing various relationships in my life.

Being a foodie has left me with some wonderful moments of sharing my favourite food and beverages with people I like. Nothing better than that cup of coffee to bring out those deep thoughts, and nothing like that mug of beer or any other drink to loosen up my restraint with people I have cared about. I have always known within few minutes of these sessions, if it is going to be just food or anything beyond that. It has been fun to revisit many of these sessions with the same people over the years, and see how we have changed.

Books have played important part in many lives including mine. When it comes to people, taste in books have been as unique as their own persona. Over the years, I have shared my taste in books with very few people, and only a handful of those have actively contributed in building my taste in books. They have come from corners of my life, from where, I did not expect any sort of a meaningful contribution. Few of them have stayed in touch with me, and few have just taken off.

For a person who is extremely opinionated about each and everything, people have passionate ideologies and firm philosophy have intrigued me. I may not agree with their thoughts and opinions, but they have held me captivated by their passion. Topics did not matter, be it feminism, Indian mythology, language, technology, or even routine work stuff. I have been blessed with partners who have had a ‘loud’ say when it comes to matter close to their heart, and eventually mine.

Many of my cherished relationships have been with people who are shy and reluctant both physically and mentally.  It has just made the progress slower and more enjoyable. A touch has lasted longer, and the feel has turned into a memory. Strangely many of these permanently etched in my mind, are still lovely to get back to. With time, many of these people have faded away into an oblivion, but these moments of reluctance have remained forever.

A movie I watched recently had an interesting observation that once we get married or fall in love with someone, we put an insane amount of pressure on that one person, to provide all those things which have received from so many different people in our lives. It is completely unfair on them, and practically impossible for any one person to do that. It made me think of what I love about my wife, and what I love about others in my life both past and present.

Posted in Kindred, Life, Moi, Personal, Uncategorized

Acceptance

Acceptance, why is this so hard?.

Accept, you are stretching way too beyond your limit

Accept, relationships do not run without time

Accept, you are not a super man

Accept, kids don’t develop bonds without you being part of their childhood

Accept, spouse can only be as accommodative as they can

Accept, friendships loose zing, when you have nothing in common.

Accept, even your favourite hobbies don’t stay fun, if you don’t spend time on it

Accept, food does not taste good, if your mind is debugging a work related problem

Accept, slowing down IS an option.

It is out there to see, everyone else is able to see it, and yet, you refuse to accept. Is it the ego?, is it your way of fighting it, or is it just a way of looking away, with a hope that it would magically vanish when you turn back.

How much ever you day dream, going back in time is not an option. Acceptance is the only solution.

Damn you stupid logic!

Posted in Moi, Uncategorized

One of the many starts

Today must be a significant day, after close to 15 years on job a core file has not excited me.

Today must be a significant day, after a long time, I have felt an urge to write something on my blog

Today might be just another day, as I am at work staring at my laptop

You never know when a day can change from significance to oblivion.

Posted in Uncategorized

The good old blogging days

Sometimes you want to meet your past just the way it was, with the people, the way they were and at a place which has not changed a bit. It turns out, before all that, you missed the basic thing, how to turn the clock back on ‘you’

Posted in Moi, Thoughts, thoughts to think, Uncategorized

‘My’ Voice

How many times, has an event sprung a realization of an odd kind? I would say not so often. Just the other day, I was watching a cousin of mine on stage, and it struck me that it has been such a long time since I have held a mike. I think the last time must be in my high school. Even back then, speaking on mike never came easily to me, I had to force myself to get my inhibitions off, and just say what I got to tell. I remember participating in debates and dreading to speak up, I would have had so many points to make, but speaking up was never my forte. When I was introduced to essay and creative writing, I grabbed it with both hands, and found a medium to make my points, without having to get on the stage.

The philosophy seems to have gotten struck with me. The idea of not voicing my thoughts, not speaking up and owning my ideas. Professionally I might be the one who is one of those who doesn’t hesitate a bit, before voicing opinions in meetings and discussions, as though it’s a whole new facet of me. When it comes to real life [Very interesting that I don’t consider my profession as my real life], I hardly voice my displeasures, pleasures, and most importantly my stand on various subjects. Being a very opinionated guy, I find it really surprising that I don’t voice my opinions.

My blog is the biggest example of my escapism. The thoughts expressed here, which I consider the truest picture of my mind, even here I have chosen to not own my thoughts and come up with a pseudo name. I can count with half the number of fingers in my left hand, how many people know about my real life identity and identify my thoughts with me. When an article of mine got published in a book, I chose to write it under the pseudo name, and didn’t even share it with parents. So basically my thoughts never get the identity of my voice, they remain mostly anonymous.

This leaves me with questions. Is it fear? Is it escapism? Is it immaturity? Is it natural? Is it pseudoism?

Posted in Uncategorized

Take 5

It feels good that my Ramblings have sustained these many years. After 742 posts and 5 years I hope they have remained virtual.

2006 march has lasted through 2011 march.

 

Posted in Books, Uncategorized

Book list 2010

I have finally accomplished a task that I was postponing for a long time now. Its like one of those special things, which you want to do, you hardly have any reason to not do it, but still not do it.

So here it is, I have finally updated my book shelf page here.

I want to do detailed reviews for each of the books, which I might finally end up doing for a few books. Until then, may be I can do a little recap of what of these books  remains in my conscience.

Have a Little Faith Mitch Albom ***

This book was a gift from a group of friends. Its strange an year down the line I hardly have contact with any of them for various reasons. Any how, Mitch Albom who wrote “Tuesday’s With Morrie” has tried hard to reach the brilliance of that book. The book is similarly structured as a bunch of conversations between a Rabbi and Mitch. There are several parts of the book which I liked immensely, but I ended up mentally comparing everything with the former book, and that in a way made this book inferior. On the whole a good read, a little repetitive though

Wings of Fire A P J Kalam **

I wanted to read this book from a long time, I have been intrigued by this former President of India as I have heard conflicting remarks on this person. A lot of people treat Mr Kalam with high regards, and some have an opinion that he is a better manager than a scientist. This book though, is well written, and gives us an insight into various missions and difficulties. It was kind of motivating for the nerd in me, but failed to motivate me enough to quit my job and join one of the premier science institutes.

English August by Upamanyu Chatterjee **

This was a fun read, I really liked the pun, conflicts and the monologues of this IAS officer Augustine who gets posted in a remote town in India. Its a fun journey as he understand how an office works, and the perks and problems of being an IAS officer. I have heard there is a movie about the book, It would  be fun to try catching up on that as well. All in all, a fun read, for people who have my sense of humor.

In Xanadu William Dalrymple *

A travelogue, one of my favorite genre’s, set in a region which I have never explored in person and in books. Did I need any more reasons to pick this book?.  This book is about a journey of couple of people, in the path of Marco Polo, to the mythical destination “Xanadu”. The places and problems they go through are interesting, and at times unbelievable. Somewhere it kind of becomes a bit boring. Even though it should have got a 2 star rating, I reduced it to a single star, considering my passion for travelogues

Sea of Poppies Amitav Ghosh *

If Ekta kapoor ever wrote a book, it would be of this kind. Its long, never ending, boring tale set in rural India. If this was every made into a serial, I am sure it would be a big hit. To me it was a total waste of time, and at the end to discover this does not have an ending is even more disturbing.

Broken Wings Kahlil Gibran *

Kahlil Gibran has  some serious insights in a simple manner, I have always liked his books. But this was slightly not so interesting, I felt that most of the works were a little time[era] dependent.

The company of woman Kushwant Singh *

This is my first book written by Kushwant Singh. He is one of those famously infamous authors, whom you hear so much about. I wanted to start with one book, which has caused a lot of controversy, and I got hold of this one. I didnt find the humor, nor the sensitivity I was looking for. Its just an overdose of the physicality with no emotion evident.  I was really sad that I started with this book of his.

The Fountainhead Ayn Rand ****

Atlas Shrugged Ayn Rand ****

Two of the best books I have read, not just in the last year, but in my lifetime. There is no way I could summaries or talk about the books in few sentences. This is one of those books, which will remain with you forever, till death and beyond. I just love Ayn Rands take on selfishness, and her hatred for altruism. I wish I could find more people who are passionate about this book, for me to discuss the book with them.

Japanese Wife Kunal Basu *

This is a collection of short stories, popular because of a movie made on one of them. The Japnese wife, well after an year of reading the book, I dont remember anything about it. I remember that I didnt like many of them, nothing special in it

The Angel’s Game Carlos Ruiz Zafon **

A sequel to one of my favorite books “The shadow of the wind”. This is in a way continuation of the intriguing cemetery of the books. I am big hater of fantasy, but the mystic nature of this continues to intrigue me. The story is a well woven, interesting, and keeps the reader interested till the end. Its not as good as its predecessor, but a real good read.

The next set of books are in Kannada. The number being just 3 kind of makes me sad. May be next year I will have more even numbers.

Avarana S L Bhyrappa ***

A very controversial book. Well all books by Bhyrappa are controversial, however this one must be the most talked about books in recent times. There are more than 30 books published, just to debate this novel from him. It has a lovely style of narration, something new, and something really unique. Its about islamic routes in india, woven around a modern day tale of an hindu women who marries a muslim. The problems she goes through and her challanges forms the backbone, and the history of islam in india forms the other part of this book. One of the must read books for every indian.

Parva S L Bhyrappa ***

If you are a big fan of Indian mythology, and love the interpretations of it. This is the book for you. Parva is Bhyrappa’s take on the epic Mahabaratha. You shouldn’t be reading this, if you cannot take the sacred epic deconstructed. I remember my relatives discussing this book long time back, and the subject had intrigued me even back then. Some of the aspects of the mahabharatha, which you couldnt even think of are so well told in this book. Well what can I say,  if you want some reading fun, pick this book up.

Samskara U R Anantha Murthy **

A very short books, very different line of thought from Bhyrappa. The book is about a person who has died, and people fighting as to who should do the final rites of the person. In a way its a satire on hindu society, especially the brahmin community. It is good in parts, and in subject.

Posted in Uncategorized

Random randomness #28/09

Guys this time around, I have slightly changed my randomness post, instead of the usual format, I have just listed the thoughts, because I felt these are something which I want to get out of me, and not really dwell about them.

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It must be so easy for kids, all they got to do is cry, to be taken home.

The questions are so easy to answer, when there are only right and wrong answers.

Over years you build up an image of yourself in your own eye, you build theories you believe in and most of them are those you “ought to” and not “actually” believe in.

The worst part of murphy’s law is that it always comes true when its the worst time for it to be true.

You thought real life stories do not have an end, unfortunately every single episode does begin, does have its good and bad moments, and it does end. In some cases its a happy ending, and in some others, not so happy one. But the key is just like the stories, it does end.

Some fear the ending, some want it to end, but its really of not use, the moment where it ends is so quick, you will neither get to enjoy it nor dread it. Both the happiness or sadness, are just an aftermath.

Wish Amazon.com sold something like this “no stress chess” for our life, we could just pick a card, and make a move.

No, I am not bitter, nor sour, nor sweet. I wish, that was the truth.