Times when I wanted to write a letter…

I still remember my first few days at school,
that feeling of not belonging,
the feeling of being thrown out into the world,
the hatred on reaching the gates,
the pain in seeing my teacher,
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

I still remember my early fight with kids,
The occasional black eye,
The feeling of the “fight”
The feeling of winning
The happiness to stand up for something
The joy of defending someone,
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

I still remember my first teenage crush,
The days spent in building courage,
The joy of sneaking glances,
The hope that never used to die down
The steps that never used to go forward,
The fun of letting the crush haunt yourself.
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

I still remember my first wet dream,
The agony that were to follow,
The guilt that something went seriously wrong,
The Idea of being drawn towards a sin,
Discovering the growing me,
Realizing the change in hormones,
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

I still remember those days from college,
With life at crossroads,
Not knowing what to choose,
More study or settle for a career,
There were no right answers, and no wrong ones too
Life had never been so confusing
What to choose and whom to choose
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

I still remember those early days at work,
Being left disillusioned,
Is this what I had dreamed off?,
Creativity and intelligence thrown to utter waste,
Not knowing if there could be a better option,
Not trusting own self, if the step I took was right
Life had never been so stressful,
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

 Now that I am at this stage,
With not much of questions to answer,
With not much of people to question,
is it the “time”, I tend to ask myself,
It is the right time, people tend to tell me,
So many things happening around you,
expectations changing about you,
I still have no clues,
I so much wanted to let you know,
I so much wanted to write a letter.

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Prompt this week over at writer’s island is “letter”. For the first time I am moving away from 55 charmers to normal form of poetry for writers island. Hope it turned out good enough.