un-naked.
December 7, 2008 at 7:22 pm | In "Fifty Five Words ", Thoughts, thoughts to think | 20 CommentsHe stood there like a soulless pillar
With his tearless eyes,
Pale lips, dried, and wordless,
With a body straight from the shower,
Unclothed, but not naked.
She had wondered, on lonely nights,
A thought of being emotionless,
Feeling neither love,
Nor hate.
Face to face, but,
Following their tradition,
Never looking in the eye.
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The topic over at Sunday Scribblings this week is “Tradition”, I know it was meant to be on the lines of holiday tradition, but then couldn’t think about anything about the holidays, instead a thought on the traditions more like He/She series I used to write sometime back.
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OH! its superb! sounds so simple but so very deep. plies of two souls finding voice in silence.
such a unique write up. u r an out of the box thinker and that’s why u were able to pen this one up.
loved it.
Comment by Preetilata — December 7, 2008 #
typo : plights*
Comment by Preetilata — December 7, 2008 #
Intimate traditions are perhaps the deepest – the zest of real life.
Excellently done.
Comment by anthonynorth — December 7, 2008 #
I agree with Tony. Nice job!
Comment by Tammy — December 8, 2008 #
Very clever Rambler
Comment by marja — December 8, 2008 #
Interesting. Sounds like there are volumes unspoken. Well written.
Comment by lilibeth — December 8, 2008 #
thoughts of an unspoken mind, but follow the tradition, they must…Intense lines you’ve penned.
Comment by prats — December 8, 2008 #
whoa! interesting!
Comment by Winnie the poohi — December 8, 2008 #
never look in the eye? I can not. I have to.
Comment by latree — December 8, 2008 #
Wow, powerful and poignant words, Rambler! Beautifully done.
Comment by Absolute Vanilla — December 8, 2008 #
never looking in the eye eh?? lovely!!!
Comment by preethi — December 8, 2008 #
Aww, Rambler. How sad; they are so comfortable in so many other ways and yet they can’t face each other… that’s such a loaded image. There’s so much under the surface…
Wow.
Comment by Susan Helene Gottfried — December 9, 2008 #
Reminds me of a relationship I once had. As negative as it was, sometimes I still long for that time…
Comment by bundleocontradictions — December 9, 2008 #
Brilliant in its simplicity. A lovely piece and a change from the traditional traditions!
Comment by keiths ramblings — December 9, 2008 #
Was she also un-naked? Which tradition are you talking about here……..didn’t get exaclty! I guess I am taking more in other sense…….is simply not looking into the eyes, is the tradition? Did you mean here that special attraction that lay in the eyes?
Comment by neilina — December 9, 2008 #
Eyes…. I have to look in the eyes !!! Must be tough to imagine that …..yet again, well written !
Comment by Pari — December 10, 2008 #
see?
romantic…wow
Comment by Genuine Gem — December 11, 2008 #
hmm.
Comment by DeamCatcher — December 11, 2008 #
Preeti..actually its two souls having their own reasons to keep up their traditions
Thanks Tony, but then more than intimacy, this was about the disconnect
Thanks Tammy, Marja
lilibeth, yep, so much not spoken, not understood
prats.. precisely what I wanted to bring out
Thanks Winnie
latree..sometimes people find an escape route to prolong
SSG..glad you said that..
Bundle..really?
Thanks Keith
Neilina..probably she wasn’t..tradition they always followed to carry on with their business..not bothering to look in a eye, a metaphor for not having to deal with their problems..nope no attraction, rather disconnect in them
GG..romantic?..really??
DC..come on, get some more words out here
Comment by Rambler — December 11, 2008 #
[...] posts with her, and you know the best part, she is the one who would look at my post like “un-naked”, and tell me honestly that there was no relation between the first and the last stanza, or for that [...]
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